They go for the fly,
When the fish snags the line, I
Go for the shotgun.
Go for the shotgun!
Elly Mae caught a feller
In the cement pond.
In the cement pond
Swims a pair of granite fish
But not very fast
But not very fast:
Chopin’s “Minute Waltz” took me
Eighty-two seconds.
Eighty-two seconds
Is a very long time when
Having Tantric Sex
Having Tantric Sex
in only seven minutes
makes it frantic sex.
…Makes it frantic; sex
Should be slow and sweet. Unless
You’re in a hurry.
You’re in a hurry
When zombies chase you and you
Can’t find your car keys
“Can’t find your car keys?”
You must have a camera
Somewhere in my house!
Somewhere in my house
Must be Jimmy Hoffa’s corpse
Under all this mess
Under all this mess:
A cavern to inhabit
While the planet burns.
While the planet burns,
Snowpiles remain ever high
Snowcones in July?
Snowcones in July?
Makes as much sense as hot wine
Drunk in December
Drunk in December
Drunk in January too
Sobered up in May
Sobered up in May,
Drunk again in June, July
August, September…
August, September…
Sobered up in December
No wait, I’m still drunk
No wait, I’m still drunk,
The walls are coming for me,
The floor’s in cahoots.
The floor’s in cahoots
With the road that gets crooked
On Saturday nights
On Saturday nights
Alright for Fighting is a
Great Elton John song!
Great Elton John song:
Puts a shimmy in your shake
Benny and The Jets