Penguins in tank tops
Are not allowed in the bar
Tuxedos only
Tuxedos only
Get worn at proms and weddings;
That’s why I rent them.
That’s why I rent them
Whatever floats, flies or fucks.
It’s cheaper that way
It’s cheaper that way,
Said the tortoise to the hare,
If energy counts.
If energy counts
On a list of things I have
I’m pretty listless
I’m pretty listless,
Trouble staying awake, I
Can’t pay attention.
Can’t pay Attention,
owe money to Alertness,
overdrawn in Naps.
overdrawn in naps
but I’ll always be in debt
when it comes to sleep
When it comes to sleep,
I only need a few hours–
The rest is gravy.
The rest is gravy
Along-side all the gristle
Of my work-a-day
Of my work-a-day
I’ll say this and only this:
I’d rather be rich
I’d rather be rich.
If it didn’t suit me I’d
just give it away.
Just give it away –
All your profit’s gone after
eBay takes its fee.
eBay takes its fee,
IRS, its pound of flesh,
What is left for me?
What is left for me?
Guess I can look forward to
dog Heaven…or Hell.
Dog Heaven…or, Hell,
Where else would I rather be?
Chase rabbits all day!
Chase rabbits all day
Chase cougars throughout the night
Daily exercise!
Daily exercise
Of your mind is possible
While snug in your bed.
While snug in bed
that last piece of pie calls out…
“Get up! I’m worth it”.
Get up, I’m worth it?
Turning over in his grave,
Poor Mr. Haiku