Haiku Madness

You have no marbles.
Where have I heard THAT before?
Oh, yeah! The Bughouse.

Oh, yeah! The Bughouse
That’s the structure that was built
By carpenter ants

By carpenter ants
I shall swear this solemn oath:
“I will not be bugged!”

“I will not be bugged!”
Your voice on this recording
Shows how wrong you are…

Shows how wrong you are
When you come to the ball game
in your new tutu

in your new tutu
you look like a stuffed sausage
you need a fourfour

You need a fourfour,
five six seven eight, and a
one and a two and…

one and a two and…
this is as far as I go
math is not my thing

Ver’ nice.

math is not my thing
My wife asked for foreplay and
I only gave three

I only gave three
Out on the golf course, and my
Caddie got concussed

Caddie got concussed,
I fear it was my new wood
that sliced so badly.

that sliced so badly
I said of my new Ginsu
tomato squirted

Tomato squirted
evidence everywhere.
Fork would go to jail.

Fork would go to jail
Before he ratted out Spoon
She polished off Knife

She polished off knife
Then considered the job done
Spoons and forks are dull

Spoons and forks are dull.
But sporks are titanium,
Therefore very cool.

Therefore very cool
people wear dark sunglasses
and drive XKEs.

and drive XKEs,
or Ferrari 458s.
I wish I was cool.

I wish I was cool

  • but hey, wait - I’m on the Dope!
    I’m cool already.

I’m cool already,
No need to open the door
To the dang icebox!