And he’s getting old
but his Heart of Gold’s stolen.
Zaphod Beeblebrox!
Zaphod Beeblebrox.
A cerebral haemorrhage in duplicate.
Oh for a heroin patch.
Yo, Orson!
Haiku structure:
5 syllables
7 syllables
5 syllables
Zaphod Beeblebrox
Ain’t he that hitchhikin’ dude?
Wears two hats, I think
Wears two hats, I think
Does Moist von Lipwig: postman
And money-maker.
And money-maker
was his name-o, that Bing-o
the top salesman dog.
the top salesman dog
will win a wonderful prize
scritch behind the ears
scritch behind the ears
Is it time for a treat yet?
Not til you go out.
Not til you go out
Does the music crank up, and
The hookers arrive
The hookers arrive
and are eyed auspiciously.
Happy groom-to-be.
Happy groom-to-be
Unaware the hen-night bride
Slept with the best man
“Slept with the best man.
In truth, I’d had much better.”
said the bride’s mother.
said the bride’s mother,
“I wouldn’t do it that way,
but it’s your day” (sigh)
“But it’s your day,” (sigh)
Ev’ry dog has one; even
Cats have their day, too.
Cats have their day, too
January 1st until
The end of the year
The end of the year.
I’m another year older
And deeper in debt.
And deeper in debt,
thanks to her sudden need for
an increased bust size.
An increased bust size,
And Beethoven will need a
Bigger, marble hat
Bigger, marble hat
To fit my swelled head when I
Won all your Cat Eyes
Won all your Cat Eyes,
also your aggies and conks.
You have no marbles.