Haiku Madness

But it’s not a cinch
To yodel like a pro but
Some cowboys do it.

Some cowboys do it
And cowgirls. Not together.
On Brokeback Mountain.

On Brokeback Mountain
And in Bedrock, too, they all
Have a gay old time

Have a gay old time
Like ol’ Jake and Ennis did
Or… Fred and Barney?

Or Fred and Barney?
Me, I’d rather consider
Wilma and Betty

Wilma and Betty:
long-suffering Stone Age wives
with bad fashion sense

With bad fashion sense
I rarely, if ever, leave
the house or the home.

the house or the home
or the abode or the crib
there’s no place like them

There’s no place like them
Old cold swimmin’ holes where we’d
Jump in hot headed

Jump in hot-headed
just like a certain leader
orange-skinned lunkhead

Orange-skinned lunkhead
Who is clearly never wrong.
Blame goes to others.

Blame goes to others
and Lordy, there’s 'way too much
ev’ry day there’s more

ev’ry day there’s more
dandelions on my lawn
who’s been planting them?

Who’s been planting them
Joints in the pockets of the
Innocent dopers

Innocent dopers
Naively fall for fake news
With their bleeding hearts

With their bleeding hearts
All of these ER patients
Need surgery stat

Need surgery stat
My fingers do not type right.
Need surgery fast

Need surgery fast?
C’mon down to Bob’s Clinic!
We’ll slice you right quick

We’ll slice you right quick
Knife fighting, hand-to-hand style
You’ll be f*cked up quick!

“You’ll be f*cked up quick!”
There’s an offer I’ll refuse
Better things to do