OldScratch is not right
I was pimping my body
12 cents each go-round
mister cynical
latino transvestites! oy!
your secret is safe.
Lots of work to do
Instead I sit and read threads
My boss will be pissed
Reading all these lines
Makes me think in haiku form
Curse you, curse you all 
Hey chatting dopers
Do you still remember me?
I’ve been gone for weeks
So much going on
I’ve no time for fun at night
One day I’ll make time
(Not that I said much
But just being there was fun)
Straightdopers are cool
I post a lot
usually about war
I just need some love
The light of my screen
is brigter than the desklamp
makes my beer glow blue
I tap on my keyboard
tappity tap tap
tap tap tapperooo
My haiku sucks
I am a dirty limerick guy
I’ll stick with my day job
<non haiku>
monster’s a hottie
Falcon is too
apologies to all the lovely ladies
if I didn’t list you
</non haiku>
Tripler
Odieman sits here
Unhaikued, unnoticed
thousandth post is soon
Yer kilopost is noted,
its coming up soon;
I’ll buy you a beer.
Tripler
Mr. C, I have
a quarter in my pocket
happy to see you
Nymysys, something
to mention is my hatred
of the letter Y. 
Odieman is from
Saskatchewan, and yet he
shows intelligence
Oh, dear. I fear that
I will have to duck and run
in just a moment
Odieman never
did inform us how they do
it in Canada
Nymysys is a
girl who certainly knows how
to make impressions
Jodi is one of
those lawyer people. Despised
professions unite!
Bear_Nenno is my
snuggle bear even if he
changed his sig line. Sob.
Welfy not mentioned
rejection sets in too soon
but she can still dream
red dragon’s my man
he declares his love for me
when he can find me
surgo is horny
pretends to want me only
but he wants others
Princess Kitty you
need to find a nicer way
to break up with boys
malkavia is
a self-proclaimed sex goddess
but she knows her stuff!
I don’t even know
if I am doing this right
I can’t remember
:^)
Welfy is growing
up too fast in the eyes of
her Doper Daddies
welfy riddles me
BJ questions just for me?
my heart still races
welfy just might go
setting me off with her pic
more wood than forests
Zen man!
amazon dot com
I have a wish list on there
you should buy me gifts
I miss the old regs
there are many new posters
where has Carl gone to?
and the kilted girl
I have missed her very much
and her oatmeal spoon
Welfy’s now mentioned
as a hottie as well
wait, that didn’t rhyme. Damn.
Tripler
I was left out too
so fear not little welfy
you can sit by me
Giggling welfishly
you’re not bad-looking either
even though you’re young
I got accepted
to Geneva College, so
much for OWU
Doug begged me to go
to this college, for it is
5 minutes away
When you’re old enough
Get a car, come and see me
We will party, no?
I like hearing of
andygirl and quietgirl
what a cute couple
Speaking of couples,
Montfont and Anniz–
When is the wedding?
- We all love Opal
- She is a talented one
- Hello OpalCat!
How I hated George
That hpsterdufz fool
But where is he now?
I miss him, strangely
Even though mean to poor me
But I forgive him
The old board is dead
to the world, but the right link
will still let you in.
Yes, Kilty was cool
But where is the bat girly?
I still have her pic.
Judy the Pirate
She was a crazy one, yes
We all adored her
And what of Pope Bob?
His signature lines amazed
And he was a dear.
As giddy as a schoolboy
that I ain’t “bad-looking”
but I ain’t that young either.
Tripler
Why am I still here?
My draft is due tomorrow
and it’s far from done.
You misread my words;
I was referring to Doug
But I see your pic–
How YOU doin’? 
Will you share that drink with me?
Nice plane you got there.
Maybe we can ride
that plane on a sunny day
fly among the clouds
How can monster chat?
I try to chat and I get
Stuck with Fathombot
Gets lonely with him
But hey, I can control him
He’s only a bot!