Is that really the impression you got in this context?
That’s ‘‘proprietary’’ use? It’s just a word, man. It falls much better on the ear than SO, and I wasn’t about to say ‘‘husband’’ and exclude unmarried people from a discussion of intense moments in relationships.
Sure. If I feel like crying, I’m gonna cry. Why wouldn’t I? If you can’t cry in front of your SO, where the heck can you cry?
I mean it specifically in a context of “man with whom I have made love”. If I wanted to refer to fucking him, I would have called him my “fucker”.
Sorry to hear that. I have never referred to a man as my lover and done it in a dirty way. For me, it’s a descriptive term I use to cut through the ambiguities of describing a man as a “boyfriend,” a “date,” or even a “significant other”.
With the exception of the most casual variety, sex creates a bond. It is the most intimate physical act two people can perform. It changes the tenor of a relationship because of the risks assumed and the rewards gained.
If relationships were not defined by sex, then I would feel the same about my brothers as I have my lovers. Ick.
Of course, having made the previous claims, I now need to update my previous post:
Depends what you mean by “cry”. I get dewy-eyed over movies, music and books all the time - more than my wife, the heartless bitch. 
I’m sensitive like that, ladies; form an orderly stampede.
However, in ten years I’ve only sobbed in front of her twice - the deaths of my grandfathers - and last year I howled all night, accompanied by tears, when I broke the top off my radius bone.
My previous lover (digging that word!) and I cried together over several things during the course of seven years, particularly when we broke up.
I bawl at soppy violin cues. I am the soundtrack’s bitch. I bawled at Serenity like my own best friend had died. Hell, I’d been going out with my now-wife for, like, two days before I was bawling to a sad song (Sting’s Fragile, I’m not proud). Still, I had my head in her lap at the time, it seemed to elicit sympathy, I’m not sorry.
Last time? I think an episode of Gilmore Girls, or maybe Everwood. Yeah, I think it was the first season finale of Everwood.
My SO is one of those “wears his heart on his sleeve” type of people so yeah, he cries or tears up frequently.
He’s one of those people that cries with happiness alot, too. It’s endearing, really.
In thinking about it now, I rarely cry in front of him. He hates seeing me cry because it makes him cry so maybe that’s why I run to another room when I feel the tears coming on.
We buy tissues in bulk at our house!!!
I’m a giant, sentimental pussy. I cried when my kids were born. I cried when one of my best friends died. I cried on 9/11. I’ll cry at anything. I’m kind of ashamed of it.
Don’t be.
My husband has cried many times in front of me, over things both serious and trivial.
He cries during sad or heavy emotional films. He has cried over the loss of family members (his and mine). He cried when he saw me coming down the aisle in the church the day we were married. We have shed many frightened, bitter, uncomprehending, angry and relieved tears over our son’s illness. He has cried with me, when I couldn’t stop and he acutely felt my pain. I think he cried at the births of both our children.
He’s a good man, with a good heart, who isn’t afraid to share his feelings with me. Hell, he’s more open emotionally than I am sometimes.
He’s also scary tough, incredibly courageous, and sweetly romantic.
Many times and for many reasons; I am an emotional mess.
Shit, since my brother has abandoned and disowned our Mother, I cry a lot. I’m crying right now.
You can’t imagine what it’s like to talk to your 78 year old mother when she is in tears until you do it. And do it again. And again and again.
Ya see, my brother abandoned our family because he has a HUGE chip on his shoulder.
He made bad decisions and choices again and again and again. And our mother DARED to point them out to him. She dared to try to nudge the chip that is on his shoulder.
And that was that. He hasn’t spoken to her in about 2 years now. It’s going on one year for me since I agree with Mom.
IF he would act like an adult and sit down and talk things out, this would not be a problem at all. But he won’t do it. This 50 year old ‘man’ prefers to act like a 12 year old and pout and stomp his feet. It’s very sad.
I have a lot on my plate family wise, and I cry plenty.
And yes, my dear Wife sees a lot of it (I’m getting better).
Bingo. That’s the whole point, isn’t it?
I’ve cried in front of my wife several times, during the nearly two decades we’ve been together. Probably not more times than I can count on my fingers, but close. Only time I can specifically remember was when I found out my best friend’s kid brother had killed himself. I hadn’t known kid brother as well as I knew my friend, but I’d still known him for nearly thirty years. I bawled like a baby.
My ex husband is a very emotional guy who cried many times in front of me. He also shed tears in front of other people, not the bawling type but more the few that run down your face type.
He has still gotten teary sounding on the phone to me a few times when we’ve talked, most recently when my ex FIL was seriously ill.
My SO is not that emotional but has cried in front of me maybe 3-4 times for some personal family situations. He says I’m the first woman that has seen him break down and cry.
You are a good person to publicly say that about him. I wish my wife would say such things about me (even in private).
I come from a family where there is no stigma in crying over anything reasonable whether you’re male or female. And my husband is very much in the same way of thinking. So he will cry at anything he feels like crying at.
Do you define crying as a full out wailing in anguish or does getting misty-eyed count too?
Myself (as a guy) I cry rarely as in full-on tears streaming down my face and sobbing. Almost all have been due to a death (my father, some pets). Twice over a woman (they did not die…they just didn’t want me around any longer).
Misty-eyed happens a lot more often and sometimes at seemingly random stuff (I recall getting misty at some commercial once that was all sappy cute…go figure). Funniest one was when watching the movie My Dog Skip. Was myself, my wife and two other couples. At the end the women were openly crying and EVERY guy there eyes watered up but due to being in the presence of others we were manfully trying to pretend nothing was happening. The women of course had all sorts of fun at our expense on that one later (all in good fun).
The same thing happened to me, my brother, and two male roommates at the end of Strictly Ballroom. The shame. :o
My husband has cried a few times.
When our dog Eightball died.
When he’s had too much to drink and talks about his dad.
When I told him about his son’s car accident. I had heard over the phone from his ex-wife and had to tell him. (For those of you in Montana do you remember a pretty bad car accident involving a car and a beet truck that was overturned a few years ago? It was somewhere near Sidney - and it was on the front page of one of the local papers - that was my stepson. He lived, thank god.)
My SO has cried twice.
Once when I was trying to break up with him (unsuccessfully, obviously, and thankfully).
The second was when he broke his arm. It wasn’t the actual breaking of the arm that did it (he’s broken too many bones to count), it was the fact that he had resigned from his previous job the day before, and was to start his training with the Fire Department in two days time. So not only was he at a point where he didn’t have disability coverage, he also thought his dream career of being a fire fighter was over. Now he couldn’t go to training, couldn’t work, and didn’t have any income, AND, we had just bought a house. I just felt so…horrible. It was a low point in his life, I’m sure.
But, luckily, it all turned out. The FD allowed him to postpone his training start date by about 4 months and we made it though financially (thanks to family!).
I cried in front of my best mate (which is worse then crying in front of your missus IMO embarassmentwise )when I went to the nursing home to get the dress my mum was going to buried in.