Have you ever had a F***k buddy?

In My Humble Opinion
21

I’ve had one in my life the summer before my freshman year in college. I actually lost my virginity to her, although I’d had one experience a few months before. It worked out pretty well, because we were honest with each other. It was never going to be a serious relationship, and it certainly wasn’t going to last past my leaving for college. For one thing, I was 19 and she was 25. For another, she made no secret of about the number of men in her life. I was still sad when the day came to part, but not for long, because after Angie called it off, we celebrated by consumating the divorce. Ahhh, memories. :slight_smile:

I have trouble thinking of Angie as a fuck buddy, though. She was more like my port in a storm. See, back then my home life wasn’t good. In fact it was pretty fucking awful. My mom was having nervous breakdowns, and I hardly saw my dad, because he was away on business trying not to get fired, and when I did see him, the arguments were pretty severe, even ending in a fist fight one evening. I didn’t get along with my siblings, and really, everyone hated everyone else by the time college rolled around (I was not one of those kids who cried away his first night in the dorm room.). Angie and I had sex often and well, but evenings with Angie were often as much about a quiet game of Uno or sacking out on the couch watching a movie on HBO as they were about fucking each others brains out. I’d bring over food from the restaurant I was working at, and we’d have a nice, peaceful, warm meal together. Angie was a quiet, stable, genuinely caring and concerned friend away from the mental illness and anger and screaming and tears. I really didn’t care if the apartment was kind of small and dingey or if there were nights I couldn’t come over because she had another “friend” coming over (I’d always volunteer to work late at the restaurant those nights.). Angie was wonderful, and I still remember how at peace and . . . safe . . . I felt in the living room or dozing beside her on the bed.

It turned out OK, as I’ve said. We parted as we both knew we had to, and I went to college, and she married some guy and went down to live in New Jersey. I’ll tell you this much: My fling with her was quite a bit better than any of the “serious” relationships I had in college; I’m afraid my emotional baggage followed me from home. It wasn’t until I was in the army, out of Pennsylvania, and on a different continent when I met a girl I liked (OK, loved) more than Angie and began to chill out in general. And I do love my wife more than Angie. I love my wife more than anything, actually.

I don’t dwell on Angie, but if she ever showed up on my door, she would get the guest room, free meals, and whatever else I could help her with, no questions asked–after I explained everything to Mrs. Fresh, of course. Most of my other girlfriends would get invited to fuck off my porch and maybe a restraining order to boot. So absolutely no regrets with Angie.

And as for your last question, shit man, go for it!! I don’t care if you have to drive ten hours!! Look around you! It’s time to get it while you can. :slight_smile:

22

I enjoy reading The Over-Educated Nympho’s Blog and she covers Fuck Buddies specifically in two of her posts.

The RULES of Fuck Buddies

The RULES of Fuck Buddies in detail

So, using her RULES as a guideline in answering the OP… I have never had a Fuck buddy. I don’t think I’m cut out for it!

23

I’ve peeked in the picture thread that’s current, and I don’t really think a guy who looks like the OP would have to worry about other opportunities arising. In my experience, guys that look like that have to step out their front doors very carefully in the morning so they won’t fall over all the women. :smiley:

24

I’ve tried to have them, but they always end up falling in love and feelings get hurt. What can I say, I am just that good.

25

Never had one, but I’m willing to take applications :smiley:

26

I understand the idea of a fuckbuddy quite well but do ever push it to fifth base and kiss extensively?

27

Lord knows I’ve tried, but it’s never worked out. There’s a certain level of trustworthiness that has to be there, since you’re making yourself vulnerable to STDs and pregnancy. The guys I’ve tried just didn’t have that. As much as I love sex, the cost of a fuck buddy is too high.

Atomicktom, I’d say your FOAF is looking for more than a fuck buddy, especially since she’s reaching out for conversation and an emotional connection. Don’t go there.

28

Yes I have had f**k buddies, and probably still do.

But it’s been awhile… :smiley:

29

I have, and she was the Girlfriend of my best friend at the time. Then again, same friend, different girlfriend. The second time ended badly, as she wasn’t really polyamorourous, just trying to please him. Aaaaaand maybe I fell a little harder than I should have. These are different than the OP is looking for, but no-one ever asks “Have you been in a three way relationship with a nymphomaniac” so that I could answer: “Yes! Twice.”

30

Yep. We’d dated during college and split up amicably. After I graduated (she was still a student), we hung out together and spent a number of nights together with no real expectations on either side of any commitment (I noticed that among many of the students. Almost everyone had been the best of the best in their hometowns and had been so programmed from birth to lock onto their goal that the idea of rethinking your future based on a college romance was completely alien). When I moved overseas we kept in touch, with the standing agreement that if one of us were in the other’s town, we’d have some fun together.

Now that I’m married, I’m not going to take her up on the deal, but while I was single I did several times.

31

Yes, but it was a lot more straightforward arrangement than what you’re describing. Only FB experience I’ve ever had, so it won’t be of much help to you, I’m afraid.

I was single, she was married with two kids. And she had zero intention of leaving her husband. Me, I was 23 years old, and not looking for any sort of permanent relationship, i.e., perfect for her.

It worked fine, we never had any problems, and hubby never found out. The only thing I actually didn’t like was that, while I didn’t have any romantic notions, I liked the hell out of her, and really missed not being able to do things like send her flowers once in a while, or go to a really nice restaurant (she might be seen by folk who knew her) or get her some nice jewelry (she wouldn’t be able to wear it).

(And before any of you go out and grab a rope, she made the pass at me. I was a perfect gentleman until that point.)

32

I’ve had several. None of them ended badly, usually they ended by mutual consent, things change. I am still friends with three of these women, the others I lost track of.

A couple of my FWBs were kiss and touch, but no penetration. Another couple were kiss, touch and suck. Whatever, it is all good. Like the saying goes from when I was a teenager, if it feels good do it.

33

I wish.

34

A couple of times. HATED it, much too difficult emotionally. If I have feelings for the man (one was my former BF of several years, for a few months after I’d returned to AK after a 9 month stint in TX), then it’s just emotionally painful.

For the few with whom I had little or no emotional connection, I can NOT get turned on and the sex ends up being pretty mediocre and definitely not worth it. It is just an empty experience and not even physically satisfying.

35

Like some of the others have stated… i dont think i would be cut out for a thing like this… I discussed it with some friends once, and a couple of us came to the conclution that we would not be albe to do this for various reasons, but one thing that shined through was that feelings would very likely get tangled.

Oh and mind you, we were primarly guys…

36

Very flattering, but completely not true. I’m far too shy and full of psychological hangups (which I’ve worked hard to overcome) to be falling over women. I’ve only had 3 sexual partners in 29 years (and while the last one was a fling that ended in March, the time before was about 5 years prior). So, this is not a thread to boast about my sexual prowess; if anything, while I’m an enthusiastic lover, I’m not particularly good at it. Thus, the allure of hot sex with a willing partner is strong.

Still, I’m starting to believe that, while she may have offered FB status, it’s not really what she wants. Her recent conversations make me think this. And while I think we have lots in common, I’m the type who doesn’t need an SO (I do truly enjoy the freedom of single-hood). So, trying to finagle a relationship out of an 8 hour distance doesn’t appeal to me. I’ve told her this. I think, though, that as long as she hears it when we are face-to-face (along with my honest assurance that I still want to be a friend, and keep in regular contact), then she can decide if she still just wants fun vacation sex. I certainly won’t mind.

37

You don’t need to explain yourself, Atomicktom; I just wanted to let you know you were handsome, since I stay out of picture threads out of self-preservation, lest I sit there and gaze blankly for far too long. :smiley:
And I didn’t think you were boasting. It’s really nice, isn’t it, when someone attractive wants you and is enthusiastic about it.

38

I should also say that long distance helps keep things at fuck buddy level. It’s harder to get tangled up emotionally with someone you see only rarely, especially if you don’t really talk all the time between.

If you have reservations about it, don’t. It certainly isn’t for everyone, and if you get the impression she might be working for more cut it off at the pass. If I weren’t so sure of myself right now I wouldn’t have started anything.

A lot of what happened with mine was he was an older guy who took advantage of what I already felt for him (I knew him awhile before the fuck buddy status, we were pretty good friends) while never really promising anything. A more ethical person wouldn’t have done that.

39

What she said.

40

Heh-heh. The memories, the memories. Way back before the Moral Majority, AIDS, and all those dampers on free sexual expression (but after it became more socially acceptable for a woman to be sexually active without being denigrated as a slut, and after birth control became easily available) I spent one semester on exchange at Wesleyan (the one in Connecticut).

While I was there, some campus group decided to start a campaign of “February is Fk a Friend Month." Poster appeared everywhere, with the question "isn’t there a friend you’ve always wanted to fk?” (That was 1979. Could such a thing happen in 2007?)

Yeah, I had a lot of fun in those days, and no negative consequences. But I think you have to choose your FWBs with care, because people could easily get hurt.