Thought about it, but never actually had one. Not sure if it would work for me. I have no problem with the idea of a friends-with-benefits relationship, at least in theory. My wife and I have an open marriage, and the idea of having a fuckbuddy is something that would work for either of us. In practice, I don’t think that I’d be comfortable having sex with someone I wasn’t at the very least good friends with. If nothing else I’d have to know them well enough to trust them when it comes to details like STDs and protection. The opportunity for such a relationship has not presented itself, and I’ haven’t gone to any lengths to look for one.
Um, what is being a couple other than fucking, movies, chatting and coffee/eating?
For that matter, what makes a “fuck buddy” different from just some girl you’re banging?
I think the distinction is of expectation of a continuing relationship. A “fuck buddy” relationship almost always carries no implication of any lasting emotional or society bond, and is expected to cease as soon as either partner becomes involved in a relationship that is more permanent. Furthermore cessation of a fuck-buddy relationship should not have the emotional connotation that usually accompanies the break-up of a more serious relationship.
In short, it is a matter of emotional investment. A fuckbuddy relationship is not supposed to have any beyond basic friendship, while a more permanent relationship usually does.
It all depends on the current relationship and the maturity level of the people involved. I’ve had several of these sorts of relationships, and it’s about fifty-fifty right now on good vs. bad.
I met a girl during my ‘college years’ (never went to college, but lived in a college apartment with a roommate who was attending – wierd situation). She was fun, perky, and not at all interested in being tied down. We had a good few months, then she dropped out and hit the road. I have no idea how she gets around, since she’s got no parental support or income, but she’s been just about everywhere. I get the occasional phone call from really out of the way places, we chat for a bit, and that’s it for another year or so. We’re still friends. I’ve got a standing date with her, should she ever hit my town again, for the most mind-blowing night I’ll ever have (her words, with the added “You’ll never guess what I learned in Thailand!”). I have maintained the same phone number since those days just so she can stay in touch. 
Another was a redhead I’ve mentioned before on this board in this thread and this thread. We split up as friends, but because of the situation there was too much emotional baggage involved and we’re not in touch any more. I miss her.
One wasn’t psycho, but definitely deceptive and manipulating – the ‘use the sex to get the guy’ type. When she finally realized I wasn’t joking about the no relationship part she turned vindictive. A year later I finally found out that she’d claimed I’d raped her. I lost quite a few people who’d I’d considered friends over that one.
And then there’s the one who is still chasing me to this day. I was her first boyfriend in high school, then got into a bit of trouble and got kicked out. When I was able I went over to her house to see her and her family pulled a gun on me and told me to get lost. Okey-dokey, I’m gone! Five years later I run into her at a convention and she said she had no idea, I’d just stopped showing up, why had I dumped her like that? Oy. We straightened it out, she was in an open relationship (I checked with her hubby), we had some fun for a few months, then she vanished. Fast-forward another few years. Suddenly, she’s back in town, with a different hubby who’s also okay with friends-with-benefits, except this time she wants kids, hubby’s infertile, and I’m THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN HELP! Stuff that, man. My wife is the only one having my kids. We’ve been dodging her for a few months now… sigh.
So, anyway. Screen your non-conventional sexual partners carefully. For a friends-with-benefits situation, I’d really make sure you are friends first – REAL friends. The times I’ve gotten in trouble have been when I rushed into it.
Emotional involvement?
Complete honesty about the lack of emotional involvment.
If the girl you’re banging is someone you actually are romantically interested in, she’s not a fuckbuddy, she’s a girlfriend, or at least a potential girlfriend.
If you’re not romantically interested in her, but let her think you are, she’s not a fuckbuddy, she’s a mark.
If she’s someone you ONLY see for sex, she’s not a fuckbuddy, she’s a booty call.
If you can go to a movie, grab some dinner, have sex, enjoy each other’s company, and then do it again a month later without having to explain where the hell you’ve been in the interim, she’s a fuckbuddy.
Yes, a couple. I share space and time very poorly, on a long-term basis, so I suspect even some of my more serious relationships count as f*ckbuddies, inasmuch as I made it very clear that if we stayed together for 50 years we stayed together for 50 years, and if we didn’t, we… didn’t, and I for one was fine with that.
For some reason a lot of people my age (25ish) are aghast at this. Evidently for them there’s no middle ground between one-night stands and a serious relationship. They tend to ask, in horrified tones, “You really sleep with FRIENDS?” and in return I like to point out that sleeping with your enemies sounds like a very poor life plan to me. 
Following some of the threads here, I’ve been getting this idea also. Not just about sex, but about dating also. It doesn’t seem like anyone dates,without the end goal being a serious relationship. I get the impression that people feel that if it’s a date for th purpose of going out and getting to know someone, it was an evening wasted.
Woow? Sex without commitment??? Where do I sign up? 
If it involves ping pong balls, I think I’d pass.
Don’t be too eager - It often ends less than well.
I’ve had a couple, when I was younger, and they ended not-badly, but frankly, I’d rather have had a proper girlfriend. Sex without emotional attachment is fun for a while, but it’s like living on a diet of nothing but candy - you starve for the things you really need.
Perhaps that is the case for you, but I wouldn’t call it a universal truth. Sex can certainly be a purely physical thing. Having sex with someone for the pure physical thrill of it hardly means that you’re starving for a relationship. As always, YMM and obviously does V.
Well, that’s a given - This is IMHO, after all.
I suspect though, that my version is pretty close to the usual run of things.
I’ll cautiously agree with you here, with the caveat that I also agree with Antidor so far as I think it’s all about what you need at the time–I was certainly not ready for a real relationship, and Angie was a great way to pass the time far away from a real mess.
Still, even if I were single and available today, I don’t think I’d go for a fuck buddy. I’d either find a slightly more serious relationship or swear off sex altogether. It wouldn’t happen anyway; I’m fat, old, and ugly–hardly fuck buddy material. Also, as much as I liked Angie at the time, I don’t really look back on it, because there wasn’t that much to look back on except for the sex. My relationship and basic connection with my wife means more to me than a night with Angie ever did. A fuck buddy relationship now would just be meaningless. It would just be one more way to pass the time. Without my wife, I’d rather spend my time at the gym or public library.
I have had a few, and been one to a few, and one thing I learned (the hard way once, got stalked) is that a real fuck buddy limits it to either 3 times in one month, or once every three months…
More than that and it quits being a convienient “I’m horny, wanna come over?” thing to a "I’m lonesome, wanna come?"over thing. As soon as peresonal feelings come into it. Its no longer a fuck buddy relationship, its a buddy fuck relationship. Even if the personal feelings are not directed to the fuck buddy.
As soon as personal feelings come into it… its over… or something new…
Regards
FML
Movies were DVD’s at his place. We’ve never been out on a public date.
There’s little or no intimate discussion - lots of other stuff, just not ‘hopes/dreams/aspirations’.
We have not identified as a couple - ever.
We’re friends, that’s why he’s not ‘some guy I’m banging’, but we’re not close friends or partners.
My relationships have always been about partnership, doing things as a team. Making plans together etc. A deeper emotional connection requiring loyalty and displays of affection - on both sides.
It’s still what I aspire to.
In the meantime, when I start getting twitchy, it’s nice to have a friend.
I’ll join you with another “less than ideal” story.
Friend of the family. Started sleeping together on rare occasion. Problem was that it quickly became readily apparent that I wasn’t really a FB, but rather a last resort in case she had already exhausted all other options.
Wasn’t BAD when it happened (wasn’t really all that GOOD either to be honest :smack: ) but I just finally decided that wasn’t worth the anticipation and then disappointment when 5/6 times she wasn’t “in the mood tonight.”
Wasn’t worth it.
My second sexual partner was a friend-with-benefits.
We started out as coworkers at a summer job. I was 19, she was a few years older, and we were both virgins. We became good friends, went to a few concerts, etc., then kinda lost touch for a while.
The next summer, we ran into each other again, and were happy to learn that in the meantime, we both had rid ourselves of the burdens of virginity. We began spending time together again, and one night, one thing led to another.
We both enjoyed each other more than we had enjoyed our previous partners, so we saw no reason to stop.
She lived only four blocks away, which was important because neither of us drove, I lived with my parents, and she lived in what was basically a shed, the size of an eight-foot cube, without a phone (or bathroom). When she moved two miles away (still without a phone), it became impractical for me to walk to her house without knowing whether she’d be home, and we stopped seeing each other.
Which is too bad, because by then, I had started to become emotionally attached.
Mine is my best friend-and she’s my ex-girlfriend from 10 years ago. I prefer this arrangement over a committed relationship any day. I’ve had serious relationships and I’ve been married before, but really I think there’s nothing better than having my own place to myself, doing whatever I want, and having a fuck buddy. But it probably won’t last forever, unfortunately.
I guess technically, that’s how my GF and I started out.
I’ve always felt that there are two stable relationship states - single or in a committed monogamous relationship. Things like fuckbuddies, casually dating multiple people, and whatnot tend to be unstable (as in unsustainable, not as in crazy). People tend to want more and more out of the relationship. They can get resentful if you put other people ahead of them. I also suspect that in many “fuck buddy” relationships, one of the parties secretly wants more.
I don’t disagree. There are exceptions, of course. An *ideal * fuckbuddy situation is, in my experience, more sustainable than dating *the same * multiple people for any length of time. I had the same fuckbuddy for ten years. Intermittently, of course. Technically, we started out as make-out buddies when we were so young we weren’t *having * sex yet. We were never a couple, but we were always close (he got married ten years ago and we’re still friends) and when neither of us was attached, we had some grand and glorious sex.
Alternatively, I’ve never been able to, say… date the same three guys for more than a couple of months without at least one or two of them getting twitchy about the lack of commitment. You can date casually for years, but you’ve gotta keep up the rotation, because if you keep seeing the *same * people, at some point it becomes *not * casual. But if you want to date casually, and aren’t interested in a relationship, sustainability isn’t likely to be a significant concern.
Of course, most situations (fuckbuddy and otherwise) are far from ideal. You’re probably right that in many of them, one party wants more. That’s why honesty is paramount. If you’re letting that person think that there’s a chance for more, they’re not your fuckbuddy, they’re a person that you’re using, and that’s not cool.