Keep a log of all contacts and attempts that you are aware of. Be ready to seek help if you get a gut feeling that you are in danger. Don’t pretend the feeling is something else, or dismiss it.
You know damn well something isn’t right here. Don’t sit on your ass waiting for something bad to happen.
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0098635/quotes :
Marie: The point is, he just spent $120 on a new nightgown for his wife. I don’t think he’s ever gonna leave her.
Sally Albright: No one thinks he’s ever gonna leave her.
Marie: You’re right, you’re right, I know you’re right.
I think this bears repeating. This guy’s grip on reality is pretty weak. He’s weaving a future in his mind around a woman he’s met very briefly and barely knows. He’s willing to chuck his existing life - and abandon his responsibilities that go with it - for this illusion he’s painted.
That’s fucking nuts.
Indeed.
misstee, in addition to the steps you’ve already taken, I’d urge you to write down the dates/times/nature of all of his contacts and attempted contacts you can remember at this time. And once you’ve done that, I personally think you should contact a lawyer about getting a restraining order.
Dammit, you seriously confuse me with posts like that. Stop it.
Youd think by now Id remember that you`re a MALE.
You just have a feminine user name.
misstee -I would have ignored the fool. That way he would have been able to pretend that you never got the message and in his mind he can say that it never happened. This would be harder to do if he communicates with you or your sisters husband. Better nothing is said- I think it will go away faster. Now that he talked with your sisters husband, how will this guy know that what your brother -in-law tells him is how you really feel? He may think that your brother-in -law is just trying to protect you and that you may have feelings for him. Its a stretch, but thats why I think ignoring him would have been the best bet. Now the guys going to be embarrassed and rejected and who knows what will happen next…
I do love you auntie em.
So much conflicting advice.
BIL did not talk to him yesterday, because he didn’t see him. He thinks that once he talks to him, “Rod” will understand that I am not interested. He doesn’t think anything further will happen.
Hubby mentioned this situation to a co-worker of his, so I think he is taking this matter a little more serious than he was on Tuesday when he read the letter. So j_sum 1 I think he has maybe hit part of the strange pissed off/boy am I relived combo.
Horseflesh I am erecting that very sign as we speak! He is not making up the bit about the wife in a wheelchair, she came to the wedding rehearsal and the picnic afterwards. I sat and talked to her while we were eating. She seemed like a very nice person. It sounded like life was tough for her as she could no longer work, but she sounded like a trooper.
I am not so much afraid of him, as I am freaked out by him.
Did I mention that I love auntie em
I have to disagree with this. If the man is seriously delusional, he might think her husband is trying to shield her from all her friends, and he has cause to “rescue” her from him. I think he should do nothing but protect her physically should the need arise. If I were being stalked, I wouldn’t want my husband to be my verbal go-between, because he might be hurt.
Now if the guy broke into the house, that would be a different story.
Mistee who doesn’t love Auntie Em?
That said, I am surprised your husband is keeping a level head at all. Had this situation been in my life, nothing would have kept me from being in “Rod’s” face after I was told what his intentions were. Furthermore, my wife probably would have torn him a new assh*le and told him to get on his knees and crawl back to the wife in the wheel chair. Followed closely by an old addage from the Movie Stand By Me - however our dog is not named Chopper, it would go along the same lines, " Chopper sic Balls!.
That pretty much sums it up for me. I know that I am a caveman, and I am happily married to a wonderful cavewoman, and we are both crazy jealous.
Our contingency plans for things like this is: firm, not quite polite refusal of attention, followed by relationship affirming monkey sex.
Plan B consists of a sickeningly cruel, unspeakable orgy of destruction, followed by the aforementioned monkey sex among the shattered remains of the perpetrator.
Yes, yes, I know. You are all disappointed in me.
Yes, the guy’s nuts, call the cops, lock him up…oh wait…
You go crying on the shoulder of some guy you don’t know, exposing your vulnerability, and this guy, who’s in a marriage where his wife is strong and never vulnerable, never says anything nice to him, never makes him feel like a man, and now this guy has found a helpless girl to help, his emotions that have been bottled up for a while are finally allowed to flow, and he over reacts. So what? He’s done nothing illegal, or even wrong, apart from the fact that he’s married, and so are you. My wife should never go crying on another’s shoulders, nor should I do so with another woman. Maybe it’s not the way his family life is, but maybe it is. But give it a rest. My best advice would be to do what you’re doing, keep your husband informed, keep your sister informed, and quit flirting and crying with other men. If you have marriage problems, fix them, don’t gloss over a habitual flirting problem, that’s terribly disrespectful to your spouse.
Yeah, wait: because no one’s said to do that just yet.
**
I wasn’t under the impression that misstee poured her heart to “Rod” about everything that’s horrible about her DH. She was physically weeping, a little, while she was dancing with him, and gave a brief explanation why. But she didn’t make him a confidant; there was no spiritual crying on shoulders.
**
Where do you get that? I’d say that a spouse in a wheelchair is pretty damned vulnerable.
**
He has nothing to offer misstee, yet he’s prepared to throw over his marriage for her. That’s an overreaction serious enough to warrant misstee putting her shields up.
**
Right! And he’s not gonna do anything illegal!
**
Whatever. It’s done. But I don’t see how leaking a few tears is such an irresitible come-on that Rod is justified in offering to ditch his spouse.
[ul]
[sup]Does Fatal Attraction ring a bell?[/sup][/ul]
Thanks, Rilchiam you addressed all the things I was going to address.
Hubby has read this thread earlier in the evening. Phlosphr, he is a very rational person. He likes to think things through, and beating someone to a pulp isn’t his style. Also, I haven’t actually talked to him (“Rod”). I work out of different stores, so I have never been at my “home” store when he called. I have just gotten messages and never called him back. He hasn’t got my home number, and he gave the letters to my sister.
Anyone else think that maybe Rod and Auntie Em’s Missing Coworker might be made for each other?