Headline the Next Rant!

Ok, I used to hang with another online group and we’d constantly keep each other enthralled with things like goofy Poll of the Day queries, photoshop captioning and any number of quizzes that’d make your IQ dip below puberty. Anyway, one that I thought was rather cool for those days when you needed to rant (but not very much) and yet wanted your friends to pitch in with all that empathy stuff and still keep it fun.

So, how does this work?

[ul]
[li]First person posts a brief complaint against whatever. No more than a couple of lines or four.[/li][li]Next, whoever responds comes up with a eye-catching headline fit for the media. Obviously, the whacky funny, the better[/li][li]After those simple steps, they then offer up a gripe of their own and thus the circle of life continues. Wash, rinse and repeat.[/li][/ul]

Simple? I hope so, since I usually sink these kinds of items straight to the bottom of the page like a lead balloon. Ya know, ‘cause I suck at explanations and brevity. Regardless, anyone interested? And since I’m bringing this to the table, I suppose I gots to start. Here goes nothin’…

Stores that have sold Archway Holiday cookies in the past need to continue this practice every subsequent year until I die. Furthermore, they should be displayed prominently with adeqate (read: plenty and huge) signage and directions. If this criteria isn’t met in any form, they damn well better advertise the hell out of such a horrendous blasphemy and compensate the grieving (me) public.

I think I understand the concept, let me try this:

**CANCELING COOKIES CAUSES CATASTROPHY

INADIQUATE ADS CREATE COOKIE MONSTERS**

Ok, so now I rant a little? I can do rant:

You know what my favorite time of year is? It has to be the holidays, especially around shopping season. And number one on my favorites list are parking space sharks. The kind that slowly drive up and down each aisle constantly looking for a better spot. “Look, there’s a spot right there, not 5 spaces from the door” “No way, I think the guy parked three spaces from the door is in the checkout line now, one more lap and I can get his spot.” Usually I aim for the last spot in the lot. Most of the time, by the time I have walked to the door, the parking space searchers are still driving around. Sometimes they are still waiting for a spot when I come back out of the store.

GREAT WHITE SHARKS SPOTTED OFF THE COAST OF WALMART. Ooh, I’m getting tired of listening to my neighbor’s son practicing his shitty guitar riffs REALLY LOUD. And all day, too. I know it takes practice to get good at it but he’s not and it’s too fuckin loud. :mad:

HINDERED HENDRIX HERNIATES HOURLY

My ex-bestfriend laying a guilt trip on me whenever she stands up one of our outings. Somehow it’s all my fault no matter what she has or hasn’t done to prevent a meeting.
You guys are really good at this! I suck, so it’s nice to be keeping company with those that are much better than I am. :slight_smile: