You fool, the OP is trying to keep them healthy, not kill them!
What did the ghost teacher say to the class?
Now, watch the blackboard and I’ll go through it one more time.
What did the guru say at the hotdog stand?
Make me one with everything.
The guru handed over the money and got the hotdog. He then asked for change.
The stand owner said “Change must come from within.”
What do you call a dinosaur that just took a bath?
Ex-stink
Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other, “Do you ever worry about Mad Cow Disease?” The second cow says, “Of course not. I’m a frog.”
What do you call a fairy who never takes a shower? Stinker Belle.
Will a clean limerick do?
As a beauty I’m not a great star
There are others more handsome by far.
But my face, I don’t mind it
For I am behind it.
It’s the people in front that I jar!
Here’s another:
There once was a man from Purdue
who found a large mouse in his stew.
Said the waiter, “Don’t shout,
Or wave it about.
Or the others will be wanting one, too!”
Why did the Pilgrims’ pants always fall down?
Because they wore their belts on their hats!
Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
In a little burner, of course. 
Where can you find a dog with no legs?
(There are a couple of different answers to this one.)
A. Right where you left him.
B. In a bun.
How come he (the dog with no legs) doesn’t have a name?
He doesn’t need one, he couldn’t come if you called him.
ETA: I grew up hearing my Dad tell this joke, usually to a stranger as a way to ‘break the ice’ and/or get a smile out of them, or when trying to get assistance from a ‘counter’ clerk/salesman, as a way to get them to be a little more inclined to be helpful and maybe induce them to remember him the next time he came back. I’ve taken to using it myself as I’ve grown older and it generally works pretty well. 
The only time that it’s ‘backfired’ on me was at a Home Depot one day, a few years back. I casually ‘threw’ the joke out to a guy and with a completely straight face he replied, “Yeah, at home.”
My reaction was, “Uh… yeah, right.” :dubious:
He said, “I work for the SPCA and I really do have a dog at home with no legs.” :eek:
I said, “You know that’s just a joke, right?” He said, “Yeah, I realize that. I’ve never heard it before, but since you asked…” He went on to tell me that the dog came to them after being hit by a car which caused it to lose the use of it’s hind legs.
Since it was highly unlikely that the dog would be chosen for ‘adoption’, he decided to take it home rather than see it euthanized. While in his care, the poor thing developed diabetes and lost the use of it’s front legs. 
Never in a million years would I have bet that someone would have given me the answer that he did, to that question. :smack:
How does a ghost get to the playground?
On a boo-cycle.
As I’m sure you’re all dying to know, our first flu shot clinic went beautifully. The kids did great, very few tears and many actually walked away laughing. Take a bow, Dopers, your contributions made a huge difference - thank you again from the parents, kids, and staff! We still have at least 4 more clinics scheduled (not to mention the shots we give all year long), so please keep them coming!
How many singers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to change it and one to sing about the old lightbulb.
Rinkworks.com has a “Really Bad Jokes” section. Here are some of the jokes.
What does a wicked chicken lay?
Deviled eggs.
Where does a zookeeper hang his laundry?
On a clothes lion.
Why do businessmen carry umbrellas?
Because umbrellas can’t walk.
Why are pirates so popular?
They just arrr.