Oh well the bus jerk is obnoxious in person and in group situations, but I think that situation is okay for now as I can handle it now sort of lol.
But the class jerks, yeah they are the type to gang up in a group rather than on their own. Except they are never on their own. o.O. Thanks for the kind words Gigi, I know I can do well regardless, but you know in class when the teacher asks you a question and you get it right and it feels good? Yeah, that is now taken away by their snide comments.
You have to learn to not let assholes bring you down. It’s difficult, and sometimes you can’t, but the alternative is to let someone else make you feel miserable all the time. Look at it this way: these guys have no real power over you. They can call you names and make jokes at your expense and all that, but what else can they really do? They can’t take away your athletic ability or your brains. They can’t call all the employers you might ever have in your life and tell them not to hire you. They can’t stop you from getting into a good college. On the other hand, if they don’t grow up, in a few years they’ll be asking you if you want fries with that.
I know! It’s so stupid, I realise all this but I need other people to tell this to me lol.
.38 special jacketed hollowpoint between the eyes will shut him right up, the recoil isn’t nearly as troublesome as a .45 and the others will get the message as well.
But if you’re not yet ready to go down that road you may want to stick to verbal measures. I got picked on quite a bit in highschool as well. Know what I did? I cried. Not really, 'cuz boys don’t cry. But I fake cried. Fast quips are all well and good as long as you’ve got them handy and as long as the bully and toadies shut up long enough for you to fire them off to a quiet and receptive audience. Which is a bit much to ask. But if you just start into bawling, loud, sobbing, bottom-lip-sucking crying, it will have a quiteing effect on the onlookers, give them time to get the chuckles out of their system and you will keep ownership of the stage for a deadpan delivery along the lines of, “Right then…” and then you turn around and let the class resume.
Look at it this way, taking the crap with a daze and slack jaw is embarassing anyway. A public display of melodrama won’t be any worse, it will give you an immediate stress release and the vocal refusal to be hurt will very likely embarass the asshole. Plus, you don’t have to “remember your lines”–just go with the emotion that has been naturally stirred by his comment and collect yourself during your delivery. And in any case, it will define you as something other than a timid little targetgirl
Bizarre and detached behavior like that worked wonders for me. But the trouble is I never really unlearned it and, well, I ended up crazy as an adult as well. So it might have its risks.
Oo Inigo, that has worked in the past in my experience, it’s strange how that seems to be the straw that always breaks the camels’ backs. The good ol’ arms and head down on desk. I find it rather manipulative myself hehe. I will however only use that as an absolute last resort.
BTW, you guys know any ways of just taking quips in the most non-chalant way? Like where are you supposed to look? What kind of expression on my face should I have? I know I tend to roll my eyes and raise my eyebrows (although not at the same time) , is that feeding them?
If you’re going to take the snark road, do not, in any way, deviate from a deadpan expression and a stare focused exactly 1 inch into the person’s forehead. Do NOT make eye contact as that validates their existence and sets you up for a staredown which, if you lose, will completely void the exchange. Stare at their brow/forehead, and do not move anything but your lips when you speak.
Thanks for the update Toilskt. Not everybody in life is like those jerks, so yeah I’m gonna tell you it will pass. School is really really tough for a lot of people. Just try to do what makes you happy and really honestly truly just ignore what the jerks say. That’s your only answer. You’re not going to talk your way out of it.
By the way, I’m curious where you live? In the United States?
Just tell yourself he doesn’t matter, he’s an idiot, a jerk and he’ll never amount to anything more than a fisherman*. Out loud occasionally (if you can direct it at him, double bonus). And try to act like it. As someone mentioned earlier, eventually you’ll believe it and you really won’t care.
And ditto on Inigo’s last post. Don’t look at him as if he matters, give a perfectly neutral expression and blow him off.
*Or whatever the appropriate job might be for your area
I’ve got a feeling that the 4/5th of the class you mentioned view you as cocky (wrt your academic succes) and as a teachers’ pet. I’m not saying you are, but that’s how the bad and average tudents tend to view the good students and you need to take this into account.
For example, asking the teacher for help will only reinforce the teacher’s pet thing (I think you realized that already).
Sure, when you answer a question correctly that makes you feel good. But to the rest of the class you’ve only pointed out that they didn’t know the answer, you’ve made them feel stupid. That causes resentment. Do it alot and you’ve give them reason for their obnoxious behaviour. So don’t volunteer to answer questions and when you do have to answer a question make sure you’re not bragging or trying to impress the teacher. You’re in that class to learn something, it’s not an opportunity to feel good about about yourself, not if it’s at the expense of the rest of the class.
Having a pokerface is not about keeping your face neutral.That just shows you’re trying really hard to conceil your reaction. It’s about showing a different reaction from the one you’re actually having.
You know, when one of your friends makes a friendly but teasing joke? You problably react by laughter (communicating “Good one, you really got me there”) for a short while. After that you just go on by doing what you were doing. React that way to the snide remarks and it will probably neutralize them.
Yes. It shows that you feel you’re above them. It makes you look arrogant. Considering the rest of my post you need to avoid that impression.
Wow. 4.66 you really opened my eyes up there… hmm… so would doing a 180 degree “rebel” turn work? I somehow don’t think it would work straight away. 'Cause sometimes the teachers ask a question to the whole class whilst other questions are directed to each pupil in the class. They’ve definitely got this image ingrained into their heads that I’m a geek with no life and every lesson, they themselves reinforce the image by the mocking they do, even if I don’t say anything for the entire lesson! Even if the teacher is just talking they’ll relate something the teacher said in a mocking way about me to the whole class. I do get what you mean about if I get a question right it makes them feel bad but if someone else gets a question right, the jocks don’t say anything.
But don’t you think it’s unfair that I should supress myself so as not to get any abuse from them when I shouldn’t have to receive the mockings anyway. I never had this problem in my last phys ed class even though it was made up of similar academic abilities (probably just due to different personalities and people in the class).
But yeah, 4.66, your words have really opened up my eyes, I shall think about that. I just find it hard to cope with the fact that possibly 4/5 of the class view me with this kind of animosity.
I’m in the UK.
4.66 brings up a good point. If you’re smart, sometimes you have to not show it. Like don’t volonteer answers, and if asked say “Ummm…” and act like you’re thinking a little bit. It’s not fair that you have to cover up your intelligence, but it will keep others from thinking you’re a “teacher’s pet” and you can still get good grades, just don’t show them to anybody that’s cruel.
I was known for being cocky and the teacher’s enemy - I asked difficult questions or even outright debated the teachers. Stereotypically, the “nerds” sit in the front of the class while the “slackers” sit in the back. I was a nerd who sat in the back and read the encyclopedia because the teacher was boring. Looking back, I suppose I was deliberately drawing attention to myself, but I was controlling the type of attention I received. I had some friends, more enemies, and that was fine by me. On the other hand, a lot of people thought I was a pain in the ass, and it’s true.
Lol Sturmhauke you really are one-of-a-kind. I don’t sit at the front in ANY of my lessons, mid-back depending on which class it is. But yes, the “slackers” do fit the sterotypical mould of sitting at the back.
I’m not sure you got my point there,Toilsk. If you’ve been hurting your classmates’ feelings, (some) retaliation is justified. It really doesn’t matter whether you made them feel stupid intentionally, or by accident. So I don’t think you need to suppres who you are. Unless, ofcourse, disrespecting others’ feelings is who you are. I mean, really, not volunteering to answer questions is suppressing yourself? You know you know the answer, the teacher knows you know and the rest of the class knows. So what’s the point? You don’t learn anything by it, you’re just showing off. That’s not being nice. If you want to be a good person, you need to be yourself (and feel good about it) and you need to let other people be theirselves (and allow them to feel good about it). It’s a very thin line, but it’s certainly possible to stay on it.
I also don’t think you’re in an unfair position. People who are good at sports often laugh at those who’re struggling. People with musical talent act offended when someone sings out of tune. I’m sure that behaviour backfires regularly, too. Everyone has some talent and everyone needs to find a way to enjoy their talent without hurting feelings.
I think you’re right in that you’ll likely not be able to change the bullies opinion of you. He has taken a stance, chosen you to pick on, and that’s probably it. But you can influence the neutral 2/5ths of the class. If you can get them to like you a bit more, they’ll stop laughing at the jokes or even show their disapprovement. Right now the bully can take advantage of the fact that they won’t stand up for you. Having a strong social network is the best defense against bullies.
P.S. I had some harsh things to say in my post and I was a little worried you would just get defensive, make up some rationalizations rather than believe what I said. Instead, you have not only considered my opinion but you are quite enthousiastic about having gained new insight. That says alot about your character and I’m sure you will overcome your troubles.
Oh, honey, that’s actually a good thing! He HAS to be nice to you there-if he acts like an ass then, you can ask for his supervisor and complain! And if he tries to pass it off as joking, then you say, “No, I can assure you we’re NOT joking.” Either that, or wait until you get home and call the store and ask to speak to a manager. Simply say you’re a customer and you’re extremely displeased.
I find a good raised eyebrow, an eyeroll, and a “Mmmmkay, and you are?” to be good. Start acting like they’re completely beneath your notice. I found that if I ACTED like I totally didn’t care, eventually, well, I didn’t care.
Good luck.
Yeah of course, I can do that 
if the teacher asks a general question to the class such as “And can anyone remember where ATP is stored?” no-one really answers so then I answer. But yeah, I see what you’re saying now, everyone knows I know so I can just let others answer. And even if no-one answers, I should just not say anything.
I’m really glad you were able to “tell me like it is” thank you!
I don’t know if I agree with this approach. If she is actually going to the games and taking notes, doesn’t that sort of feed in to these boys’ need for attention. I would think they would totally turn this around on her and use it as fodder for more insults. Plus, she has to waste her time watching a bunch of losers that she doesn’t want to be around. My suggestion for a comeback - since their comments seem to imply that she is in some way disgusting, she should respond with “I love you, too”. That might stun them enough to shut them up for a while.
Just because she’s smart and knows the answers to the teacher’s questions does not necessary make her the “teacher’s pet”. This is probably the same attitude that the teasers have because they are so insecure, they cannot stand it when someone actually pays attention and does well in school; they therefore feel the need to mock that person. There is nothing wrong with knowing all the answers and there are ways to answer questions in class without looking like a snotty know-it-all (not to imply that Toilskt is in any way snotty). I’m just saying that Toilskt should feel comfortable doing what she wants to do in class and should not feel intimidated by a bunch of losers.
Toilskt, you may not have to demonstrate that you feel that you are a better person than these guys because it seems pretty clear that you are better than them. All that matters is that you feel it - who cares if no one else sees it. This may be difficult to deal with in high school but it’s better to be true to yourself than to modify your behavior to appease people who do not care for you.
Okay erm, unrelated to the above problems, just something that happened in the past… how does one get rid of nicknames they don’t like? And I mean personalised nicknames that aren’t rude words, not generic ones like “bitch.” I find them demeaning myself as it takes away your identity and gives other people power. A friend of mine was given a nickname and no-one knows his real name, they all refer to him as that although he doesn’t seem to mind, but people often ask me “what’s his real name?”
There’s not really much you can do about it other than moving away. You can let nicknames bug you, which will probably make them stick more. You can refuse to acknowledge their existence, and maybe they will fade away eventually. Or you can own them and wear them proudly. As an example, there was once a little boy named Edson Arantes do Nascimento in Brazil. Other boys made fun of him because he mispronounced the name of a soccer player, and they called him by the altered name. The more he complained, the more it was used, until he just gave in and used it. You may have heard of this little boy; he is now known as Pelé.