Two cats in a cat box.
Grunge lyrics minus the music.
Peanutbutter sans jelly.
Be neutered.
Buy every New Kids On The Block album. In public. Including the Christmas one.
Refrain from breathing for two whole days.
Get off the meds.
Get on some meds.
Come to chat and let us all browbeat you in “real time.”
Be my bitch.
Apologize directly to Cecil for besmirching his boards.
Only type in Sanskrit from now on.
I’ve changed “to repent you must” to “as punishment”
Keep it coming! We can still use more in the other categories!!
In closing, Id like to say:
Something intelligently flaming, but you wouldn’t get it.
“I’m sorry” to whomever bred to produce you.
A little prayer that the aliens take you away to live with Jay-zuz soon.
Furthermore:
You suck. Was that monosyllabic enough?
You make JDT look like Ghandi and Cecil all rolled into one handsome package.
I’d rather poke myself in the eye with a blunt intrument than look at another one of your posts, ever.
To repent, you must:
Buy a copy of DICKANETICS and tell the SDMB how it has changed your life.
Start a smily thread for ChiefScott.
Make complaints about moderating styles in GQ.
Try to get David B. to believe the Bible is the inerrant word of God.
Bump “Guy Stuff”.
Memorize the words, and perform publicly, “. . . Baby One More Time”.
Go to school dressed as a Backstreet Boy.
Buy a Tug Ahoy ™.
Um…
As punishment:You suck. Was that monosyllabic enough?
You OF COURSE can put them anywhere you want, but does that make sense?
I’m just checking. 
cough
I was … um…
just testing you.
You passed, I’ve moved it back to where I had planned on putting it all along. It certainly wasn’t a mistake. Nope.
(insert verb here) (choose one: dimpled/pregnant/hanging) <b>chad(s)</b>, (insert verb here) the (insert Florida county here) <b>manual recount</b>, or else perform a (insesert demeaning sexual act here) on (insert name of MSNBC/CNN/FOX NEWS CHANNEL talking head here).
Thia isn’t a joke thread, is it? You know I will have to report any laughter to Lynn.
OTOH, I could sit here and feel sorry for myself…
Dear syphilitic cro-magnon
Your post was an inspiration to degenerate inbred rednecks everywhere.
Your post reminded me of a hand-job gone horribly wrong.
My attention was drawn to the fact that: the stick you have shoved up your ass hasn’t quite penetrated your brain yet.
Push harder.
Woohoo! The Flame Mail Generator is better than ever! I hope everyone has had a chance to test it out… it’s fun!
http://fathom.org/teemingmillions/flamegenerator.html
Keep adding suggestions 
Uh, Opal? You might want to fix the several spelling and punctuation errors. Especially in the flame about spelling errors!