http://fathom.org/teemingmillions/flamegenerator.html
I’ve updated some of the stuff that contained references that no one would get anymore… Please help me figure out more ways to update it (new things to say)
Make sure you say what section it should go in!
Especially needed:
Your post reminded me of _______________
So far we have:
the efforts of a very fininte number of monkeys typing on 6 typewriters for 5 minutes
some bad acid I took in the 60s
Your post reminded me of:[list][]the time I vomited alphabet soup.[]G.Nome[]my pledge to ignore you.[]
From recent BBQ action:
The stitching on JDT’s foreskin
Life before speel check
Here are all the categories… and how many options they already have:
Dear ____ (12)
You are being flamed because _________ (21)
Your post was _______ (4)
Your post reminded me of _______ (5)
My attention was drawn to the fact that ________ (29, some of which will be deleted)
Furthermore ______ (4)
To repent, you must _______ (11)
In closing, I’d like to say _________ (12)
hundred
blatantly
I’m not an editor, but I play one on TV.
Furthermore:
You should take your grammar checker out of “Frisian” mode.
thats “intellegent conversation with you” in the above post.
*preview is my friend… preview is my friend.
OpalCat,
I went to your link. Funny, funny stuff.
However, I’m a little confused. Why does my name appear on your “Dear:” list?
tiresome, whiny, pedantic, and just plain not good.
shockingly lucid and coherent, assuming it really was dictated to you by your dog.
apparently assembled by monkeys.
in violation of the terms of your parole.
a vast well into which I poured several minutes of my precious life, only to be rewarded with a vague sense of having been cheated.
delightfully forgettable.
unpunctuated.
things I spent years in therapy trying to forget.
the needlessly strict standards our society maintains to prevent involuntary civil committment.
the reasons why the internet is actually a Bad Thing™.
kindergarten.
an anthropology experiment gone horribly, horribly wrong.
the fact that we are all God’s creatures, no matter how pointless and annoying some of us seem.
it seems unlikely that you will ever successfully breed, for which we are all thankful.
I admire your ability to be so dense and yet so bitter.
I have a gun.
your single-minded zealotry has forced me to reconsider my opposition to post-natal abortion.
there is a time and a place for everything, and yours happens to be sixty years ago in the deep South.
Will Rogers never met a man he didn’t like, although I doubt he’d be too fond of you.
Keeping in the spirit, here’s my go at it:
[ul][li]soporific.[/li][li]pieced together using a random word generator.[/li][li]devoid of any coherence, factual information, or point.[/ul][/li]
[ul][li]rec.hobbies.acting-like-a-moron.[/li][li]a stream-of-consciousness novel written by a chimpanzee.[/li][li]a form of avant-garde poetry where every word has no meaning.[/li][li]Shemp Howard in The Three Stooges Go Online.[/li][li]the reason stamping out ignorance takes so long.[/ul][/li]
[ul][li]your mother hates you.[/li][li]your dog hates you.[/li][li]if you’re not paranoid, you ought to be.[/li][li]I see you’re the top candidate for Harvard’s endowed professorship in Advanced Stupidity.[/ul][/li]Nurlman’s are better, though.
Your post was:
indicative of a severe personality disorder
Your post reminded me of:
The ramblings of that creepy homeless guy on the bus
Robin
Dear ____
Pus-tongued pervert
Willowbrook escapee
Stupid
You are being flamed because _________
it’s that time of the month for me
a half-baked crack-pot like you needs to be toasted
your stupid
Your post was _______ (4)
quite intelligent for an alien
obviously meant for the lurntoread.com message board
too stupid
Your post reminded me of _______ (5)
Those bygone days of olde english
the lunatic ravings of Charles Manson
words
My attention was drawn to the fact that ________
the internet can be hazardous to your mental health
there doesn’t seem to be an “e” key on your keyboard
you have to be the stupidest person ever borne of woman
Furthermore ______
methadone is not cough medicine
don’t type again until after you remove the webbing from between your fingers
you should tell your doctor the lobodomy was incomplete
To repent, you must _______ (11)
get on AOL
divorce bjorn and marry concrete while having an affair with Mark Serlin
buy me a house
In closing, I’d like to say _________
piss off pissant
go tongue a light socket
die
Wheeee!! I’ve added a lot of your suggestions… keep it coming!
You are being flamed because _____
Your post reminded me of ____
My attention was drawn to the fact that _____
To repent ____
Your post was _______ (4)
more tedious than a Phaedrus manifesto
better suited as fertilizer than message board content
a waste of valuable bandwidth
Dear (tricycle seat sniffer),
You are being flamed because (the honor of this MB has tarnished).
Your post was (the literary equivalent of sticking a Dave’s Insanity Sauce covered clothes hangar up my nasal cavity and fishing for my cortex).
Your post reminded me of (the movie My Left Foot, except I’m guessing that you only have control of your pinky toe and no direct connection to the brain).
My attention was drawn to the fact that (you’re a perfect illustration of the fact that sometimes the parole board makes mistakes).
Furthermore (I’ve heard more intelligent comments come out of a Speak & Spell).
To repent, you must (always write the opposite of what you’re “thinking”).
In closing, I’d like to say (that maybe your writing talents are better suited to pissing in the snow).
Opal, you have GOT to use this one 
we need more "To repent, you must: "