Once again, my oldest daughter is in residential rehab for drug and alcohol abuse. She has expressed interest in reaching out to clean and sober people all over the country and even the rest of the world.
I know we’ve been down this road before, but who knows? Maybe this is the time she’ll stay the course. I’m trying to remain optimistic.
So, if any Dopers who are also friends of Bill W. would be interested in staying in touch with her, let me know, and I can email you, and maybe we can get something set up.
Count me in, Norine. The more times we try to help, the better chance we have of making it stick. I can’t remember where she is, but I am in SoCal if she needs a couple of kick-ass womens-only meetings, and I am always available by email.
Debbie, sober since March 4, 1991
PS- my story is pretty typical- I never met a drink or drug I didn’t like.
We are in western Maryland. Pretty far from SoCal!
Her father and I are going in this morning for a family counseling session, and I’ll ask about the best way for her to be contacted in rehab. When I find out, I’ll email you and let you know.
I guess her experience with drugs and drinking are pretty typical, but you may or may not recall from previous threads, she’s also bipolar, borderline personality, has been hospitalized numerous times for suicidal ideations and self-harming tendencies, and seems to have a big issue with the honesty that sobriety requires. But I also agree that the more she hears it, the better the chances of something sticking!
I truly hate to come across as an asshole here – but it strikes me that if she were truly interested in getting sober/clean/uncrazy in any way, she’d avail herself of the help that’s immediately around her – rather than trying to hook up with people 3,000 miles away who won’t have as clear a take on when she’s trying to bullshit them.
I’d be more than willing to help, though a local, readily-accessible and active sponsor is, IMHO, crucial to the program and would be of much more use.
Remember, this is her problem. She owns it. Only she can fix it.
As a **very jaded ** alcoholic and former master-manipulator, this “ploy” of your daughter’s sounds more to my ear like “I gotta make Mom think I’m trying so she’ll stay off my case” than “I need to reach out for help.”
While a local sponsor is vital, I know that I have sober friends on this very board who I have never met IRL (Hi, GusNSpot!). I won’t judge anyone’s intentions by what someone posts on a message board- if I can do even a small bit to help, I would be happy to.
The facility she is in will have lots of suggestions, most of which won’t really be “suggestions” at all. If she is serious this time, they will really help. If she isn’t, well then you’ve been here before too…
I’m not knocking online friends in any way – I’m just concerned that she’s thinking she can use them instead of, and not in addition to, working her program on a day-to-day basis and being accountable to a local sponsor who she talks to daily. Both of those things were infinitely more important to me in my early recovery than the abstractions of recovering people elsewhere.
