The wife named mine “John Henry” after we saw “North Dallas Forty”, but if I had it to do, I’d name it
VLAD THE IMPALER
What do I win?
Richard. Dick for short.
An ex [del]psycho[/del] boyfriend called his Stanley. “Why Stanley?” I asked. “'Cause it’s a power tool!” he answered.
I’ve always been fond of One-Eyed Trouser Snake, but that’s more of a description than a name.
Hmmmmmm. . . I don’t want to be a killjoy and harsh the OP’s playful mellow, as it were, but since this is in IMHO instead of the Mindless . . .whatever it is" thread, I have to say that men who have a name for their penis (or their automobile) won’t be making the aquaintance of any “Pleasure Receptacle” that I"m aware of. Please; like it’s gonna come when you call? Oh. Nevermind.
You have to name it?
How about “that which can hammer a six inch spike through a 2x4”?
Sure, it’s unwieldy. But you’d most likely be popular, if out of sheer curiosity :D.
“Nixon”
How about calling it your water wiggle?
I think you should let it remain anonymous.
Having said that if I had a dick I think I’d secretly call it “Big Fatty.” If it was really fat I’d call it my “Soup Can.” I like that one. If it was long and skinny I’d call it Stretch or “The Back Scratcher.”
You could call it pokey but then you’d actually be naming it after my vagina so if you do, don’t tell any women about it.
Your username is your vagina? That’s very very sexy.
Turn off your computer. NOW. Go to a strip club and get suggestions from working women there.
Introduce him as the mighty roman warrior Cockus Maximus.
After the giggling has subsided, intoduce his understudy, Testiclees.
No, thank you. The “Mr. Pickle” line will always stand out in my mind as most hilariously stupid pick-up/hit-on line I have heard tale of (and always brings at least a quiet snicker.)
On a more topical note, you could also consider linking the nickname to some hobby of yours. Are you a fencer? Into rocketry? Caber tossing? Any activity with possible phallic imagery? Any light bulbs coming on?
I refuse to read a whole thread about your “dingdong”.
So, therefore, I’ve only read the title. Sue me, ban me, do your bidding.
But… I say, it has to reflect the opposite of your personality and/or physical persona…
Therefore… if you are a large (tall, muscular) man, go for “PeeWee” or “Shrimpy”
If you are small in stature, go for the obscure: “Raul” or “Ra” (shut up)
If you are intelligent, go for the the dumb: “Bubba” or “Billy Bob”
If you are dumb, go for the intelligent: “Einsten” or “GWB” (shut up)
If you are a skater, go for the biker: "
well… you get the idea… I say go opposite of your own persona, therefore “he” has his own.
Cheers.
One of my friends finally decided on “heat-seeking womb ferret” as a suitable nick, but he’s Scottish and it was obviously a strange sporran reference. Yes, I know, I have weird friends but I like 'em that way.
There’s always the reference to “something harder than a Chinese word search”…really wasn’t that successful 'cos it just made me laugh. Apparently that’s not quite the right response.
Drippy
I’ve always been of the opinion that the SO should name it. That way, she’ll feel a personal connection to it. (rimshot)
But seriously, if she names it herself, she’ll be a lot more likely to say things like “You know, I think we should play with **Gonzo the Wonder-Pomegranate ** tonight,” or “I feel like you should let **Freidrich of the Carp People ** out for some recreation this afternoon.”
I can’t believe everyone is letting this slide, so to speak. You announce that you’re planning to “introduce it to a wide variety of pleasure receptacles” and nobody asks for DETAILS!?! People, we are falling down on the job here.
(I think you should name it “Mr. Friendly.”)
Henry
As I’ve remarked in a previous thread (not about your particular appendage, of course), it seems to me that it would seem appropriate to give it a name the way they always give names to swords in those heroic fantasy novels – like “Stormbringer” or “Orcrist” or “Glamdring” (but not “Sting”, thank you). You want to avoid any suggestions of violence, though, but something appropriately heroic and bombastic.
“Ho there, QuimSwiver, the Game is Afoot!”
On that note, we plan to name our next cat The Magnificent Fangmeyer. Something like that, eh?
I can’t really say I think you need to do this. Do you name your other appendages?