Hemorrhoids are awful. Christ.

I’m a 36 y/o male. I’ve got a hemi the size of a babies big toe, I’m not sure if this counts as a big one or a small one. I’ve had it for a few days and it just changed from irritating to painful in the last 24 hrs. No idea really what to do with this fucking thing. I’m Tucksing it, Prep-H ing it etc… This morning it felt like it was retracting or whatever the fuck you call it when it goes back inside or dies or whatever, but tonight for some reason my ass is fucking me up like Tyler Durdin.

Any clenching of the ole balloon knot from pissing (you know, when you are squeezing the last of it out), yelling at the kids etc… results in a feeling like a bee sting in the “ring”.

Kind of feels like having a goat head thorn stuck between my cheeks.

I was able to run today without any real pain, which is good because I haven’t exercised in a week, but things are fucked up now. I’ve absorbed all of the horror stories online about blood clots turning this into a serious thing and people having one stick around for months. Ugh.

Last one was only around a weekish. I can’t imagine having a whole stack of these things poking out.

Is a babies big toe sized hemi a “big” one, “small” one? I have no idea.

Go to the doctor and get it treated.

From what I’ve red there’s really nothing they can do about it at the doctor that I’m not doing at home. Just gotta ride this bitch out I suppose.

When I was 13, I went on a road trip. Apparently my ass didn’t appreciate me sitting for so long, and it decided to grow a giant hemorroid as punishment.

I was very embarrassed about this unexpected predicament. The pain was bad enough, but it was made worse because I wasn’t brave enough to tell anyone about it. My sister walked in on me sitting miserably in the bathtub (thinking maybe a warm soak would help), and I broke down and told her. But I never said anything to a grown-up–someone who could have gotten me some relief.

I really wish I had. We went on a trip to the mountains while it was at its most painful. Instead of enjoying myself (which I would have most certainly done under normal circumstances), I spent the entire weekend trying not to cry out in pain. Every time someone says they’re going to vacation in the mountains, I think of my butt being on fire.

If the hemorrhoid is thrombosed (and it sounds like this is the case), the Doc could give you a shot of lidocaine and incise and drain it in a few seconds. You will be much, much happier much, much sooner.

There will always be a small bit of loose skin there no matter how this resolves itself that you should keep clean and dry, especially following a bowel movement. This loose skin can trap a bit of dirt and then become irritated throughout the day. I recommend wiping with baby oil gel or using any of the post BM products ('sani-wipes, baby wipes or whatnot) for continue butt maintenance.

But, really, there is no need to suffer while this (probably thromobesed clot) resolves. If you can see it and it is an angry red or purple, or feel it and it is hard, do yourself a favor and have it treated. Call the nurse line phone number on your insurance card. She may give you permission to go to the ER and have it done quickly and easily.

I have had problems with this in the past myself. The first time, I was convinced I had cancer. My relief that it wasn’t cancer was so great that it made the condition seem not so bad after all.

Tucks are kinda spendy if you need to use them all the time. I get flushable wipes and add some witch hazel to them. That is the active ingredients in Tucks. Use a wipe every time you go to keep the area clean.

I hope your butt gets better soon!

How do I know if this thing is thrombosed or not? It’s not excruciating or anything. Just stingy and irritating. It’s somewhat hard.

That’s why they pay doctors the big bucks. They can recognize a thrombosed 'roid, and they have a much better view of it than you do. Hie thee to the doc and get it taken care of.

When my ass was just killing me my doc said to fill the bath a few inches deep with water as hot as you can possibly stand it and sit in it for 10 min twice a day.
Worked a charm for me but I had what he called a fissure.

There are three common situations where I can turn a patient’s pain level from a 10 to a 1 in a few seconds. One is by slipping a catheter into an overengorged yet obstructed bladder, the second is by burning thru a nail to release a hematoma, and the last is by lancing a thrombosed ‘roid’.

Gives a whole knew meaning to the term 'roid rage.

OP sounds butthurt.

ETA: Mind you, I too have had haemorrhoids and they’re a pain in the ass.

Beat me to it.

Had a serious case myself, many years ago while in the Army. They gave me some suppositories to use, and felt that I needed to be told to take off the foil before using them. For all the good they did, though, I might as well just shoved them up my ass.

Had to have one lanced and drained a few years ago. A rather uncomfortable office visit, but the relief was instantaneous.

Get it done and put this whole episode behind you. (Couldn’t resist)

Understand that hemorrhoids can be horribly painful and not thrombosed, so not all pains in the rear are treatable by surgery.

What’s your take on the hot-as-shit sit down in the bath method?
For me it was 5 minutes of agony and hours of relief after.

Go with whatever works for you. Frankly, cool compresses usually do more to reduce swelling, but for some folks, heat helps reduce discomfort. Neither will do harm if the temps used are reasonable.

Best rx for non-thrombosed hemorrhoid pain, after a good cleansing and drying would be to smear some viscous xylocaine jelly down there to numb it up.

Also, fiber to increase transit time and avoid straining at stool. Prep H or witch hazel to shrink tissues also.

Oh, and avoid spicy foods too. They burn all mucus membrane tissues, at both ends.

When I feel the need to ill-wish a person, I express a desire that they get thrombosed hemorrhoids, followed by surgery to remove them, and then that they get the roids AGAIN.

Mine turned out to not be thrombosed. Doc said it’s good sized though and prescribed me some sort of numbing cream. Bought a sitz bath for the can so I don’t need to deal with the dam bath tub. Seems to be helping. In fact laying in bed right now I think the thing may have just headed back inside a bit ago as clinching doesn’t hurt now.