Just like last week, same private (not the one I’ve listed here) e-mail that NEVER gets spam, same type of SCREAMING SPAM blaring at me. I’m in a rut, and yet, I must comment:
TURBO BOOST YOUR SEX LIFE !!!
by attaching Nitrous Oxide cannisters to your rectum!
WITH THE ALL NATURAL VIAGRA SUBSTITUTE
Unfortunately, our method involves lacquering your penis so it stay stiff. Ow. Crackly.
SPECIFICALLY FORMULATED FOR BOTH WOMEN AND MEN!!
Ok, strike the lacquer thing. We were just funning with you.
But we are required to note that since it’s specifically formulated for both Men and Women, it can have the unfortunate side-effect of making women get 12" stiffies and making a man’s insides all wet and squishy.
Our all natural potency formula will help you have
THE BEST SEX OF YOUR LIFE or we’ll give you your money back!
Of course, if you’re a chick, we’ll have to send out one of our representatives to check to see if it really wasn’t THE BEST SEX OF YOUR LIFE! Carl likes women who wear stilletto heels, so dress appropriately.
If you’re a guy, you’ll have to collect signed documents from everyone you’ve ever had sex with, proving that, indeed, you’ve had better sex.
SATISFACTION GAURANTEED!!!
Meaning that if your penis shrivels up and falls off like an overripe apple, we will provide a substitute (such as a broom handle or cucumber)
For a small additional charge, higher quality upgrades available (such as a broom handle that has actuallybeen sanded or a larger cucumber)
Add $5.95 Handling charge
No shipping charge, just handling
[sub]Hee hee hee. I said “cum” twice.[/sub]
You know what’s worse than all this advertising by far? Somebody’s buying this. Some pathetic freak somewhere decides that he needs a bigger dick to get the sheep to make that funny sound, and he buys this. Yeesh. I don’t know what’s worse, the purveyor or the purchaser.
