What’s your favorite way to to illustrate someone’s relative intelligence? For a long time, my fav was “He’s as dumb as a stump.” Used to always get a giggle out of my SO.
Now, though, BratMan007 has blown that one out of the water with his devilishly funny “He’s so stupid that he couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel.” I always laugh my ass off when I hear that one, BratMan007.
C’mon, all, what’s your favorite phrase for expressing stupidity?
This is my favorite because it works on so many levels.
He is so dumb he can’t fart and chew gum at the same time.
What’s so great about it? Well, it was first said about an American president, Gerald Ford. It was said by a former president, Lyndon Johnson. How much better than that can it get. Can you imagine someone having the balls to say that about George Bush? Of course not, it would be considered a great breach of tact. Yet this comment was said by a former president. I just love it.
Damn, sorry 'bout that brachyrhynchos. I actually stopped to ponder your gender about halfway through that post, and went “What the hell, chances are it’s a guy.” since this message board seems to be about 70% male/30% female. Shoulda looked, I guess.
(and, btw, you missed a great opportunity to spout off about how stupid I am…)
That’s okay Athena - it’s sometimes hard to tell on these boards. “brachyrhynchos” isn’t exactly a giveaway, either. Hey, I wouldn’t bite the hand that started a great thread!
And to keep on the OP:
He’s so stupid he tried to strangle himself with a cordless phone.
and…
He’s so stupid he took the Pepsi Challenge and chose JIF.
I like BratMan007’s saying, but the version I heard was simpler. I can’t even remember how man times my father said to me “You’re so stupid you couldn’t pour piss out of a boot with directions on the heel”.
I used to work with him on the weekend installing furnaces and air conditioners and he used to regularly tell me I was so worthless that “You can be replaced with a nail”.
Defintely a low-watt bulb, there.
Bread not baked all the way to the center.
Elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top.
Half a Bubble off Plumb.
Few bricks shy of a full load.
The old “For Rent” sign is up there. (Family in-joke)