Hes about as useful as Michael Jordan in a baseball uniform
He’s two bricks short of an analogy.
My all time favorite is
He’s not just stupid. It would take a million years for the light from stupid to reach him!
He was absent the day God handed out brains.
The lights are on but nobody’s home.
Several cards short of a full deck.
chrisbar
Heh heh heh.
Chris, next time you post a list of synonyms for God-awful stupid, you might consider leaving off your signature from the end. I’m actually sitting here trying to figure out if you did that on purpose, as a kind of self-effacing in-joke.
My favorite is: If brains were gas, he wouldn’t have enough to drive a piss-ants motorcycle half way around the inside of a cheerio.
I personally like “Sharp as a marble.”
Then there’s the classic bit from A Fish Called Wanda:
Another classic one from Foghorn Leghorn:
“That boy’s about as sharp as a mashed potato sandwich!”
A few twinkles short of a glimmer.
(S)he’s so dumb, (s)he couldn’t f*** without instructions.
(S)he’s the Village Idiot of the Disenchanted Kingdom.
Double-digit.
Easily confused by shiny objects.
Doesn’t use birth control 'cause the pills keep falling out.
(Upon viewing his/her stupidity) Someone needs to put more chlorine in the gene pool…
He’s so stupid, he consistantly loses a battle of wits with bricks.
The purpose of his life is to be an organ donor.
One tit short of an udder.
He has the intellectual capacity of a sandwich.
A fraction for an IQ.
His IQ is so low you have to dig for it.
He only gets a half-hour for lunch so that his boss doesn’t have to retrain him
So dumb that she goes into a surgical supply store looking for a gutwrench.
Couple I’ve heard . . .
Dumber than a box of hair.
Went surfing in Nebraska.
The wheel’s running but the hampster’s not in there.
Was tutored by Andy Katzenmoyer (you football fans will know).
Sniffing glue made her smarter.
“He’s as dumb as a post. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a letter of apology to write to posts everywhere.”
Or, “…and that’s a rotten thing to say about posts.”
I once heard a friend of mine referred to as “You’re like a shiny penny!”
Said friend: “Thank you!”
Other guy: “That’s right. You look nice, but you’re not worth much.”
Other analogy of being stupid: S/He’d get lost falling down.