Some of you might remember me talking about my cousin. You know, the one whose Christmas I ruined. The one who apologized for me taking her comments the wrong way. Her telling me that the past was past and we should just all forget about it and move on was the last I heard from her for a few months.
Then, about a month ago, I got another email from her. She’s been having recurring dreams about me, and she just can’t let this friendship go down without a fight, and she just wanted to see how I was, and she was doing fine, blah blah blah. This was a pretty transparent attempt to carry on as though the previous unpleasantness had never happened, since she’d run into my mother that night and already knew how I was doing. (According to Mom, it was quite the scene, too, what with the arm-clutching and the sobbing and the dramatic monologues about how much she loves me. I kinda wish I’d been there to see it; it sounds like one of her finest performances ever.) I told her that I had no interest in climbing back on the merry-go-round, thanks, and if she wasn’t willing to work through these issues like adults, we should just let the relationship die.
We agreed to talk about it, via email with a waiting period to help keep us from flying off the handle, and she started by saying that she didn’t realize she’d said or done anything that made me feel bad. I told her that being called a bitter, petty, childish bitch would make most people feel bad, and that making someone feel bad was pretty much the whole purpose of insults, and outlined the basics of my feelings about taking responsibility for the things we say. I finally got a response yesterday, saying that it’s over.
She isn’t going to justify anything she said or did, especially since she knows for a fact that she never called me a bitch. And you know, she’s right. I went back through the emails she sent back in December, and she never used that particular word. She called me bitter, petty, and childish, yes. She called my decision to keep my name stupid, yes. But she never called me a bitch.
Sometimes, you just gotta laugh.