Hey, stupid-fuck, we can't sneak up on Pakistan

Jesus. Obama must feel like he’s debating a 3 year old. That stupid, doddering old fuck is making me sick. I am shocked and saddened that 1/2 of the American population can’t see past his ‘nana nana’ childish rebuttal and accusations.

Most infuriating was McCain’s insistence on repeating things that Obama did not say. Even when Obama repeated that he didn’t say them and clearly restated what he did say. The worst of them being McCain’s ‘invading Pakistan’ remark:

“Senator Obama likes to talk loudly. He’s said that he’s going to invade Pakistan. You know, if you announce you’re going to attack another country…it turns public opinion against us.”

Oh, really? So doing the planning in private would stave off that opinion when we actually did attack?

And what’s with this concept of a surprise attack anyway. They wouldn’t notice us staging our troops at their door? And if we were going to do some sort of long range bombing, what difference would it make? It’s not like they could prepare or stop it.
McCain is so used to trying to sucker punch Obama in this campaign, I can see why this tactic is such a big deal to him.

I am sick that Americans would nominate and continue to stand behind someone who is this fucking infantile for the most important (and potentially the most dangerous) job in this country.


Whenever McCain talks about how we don’t say stuff out loud and his other stupid misrepresentations about the situation in Pakistan.

I swear the only thing I can see in my mind is Elmer Fudd. Catchin’ wabbits.

But lets be fair to him it cant be easy for an old gentleman of his age to keep up physically let alone mentally.

I think that you Yanks have got a cruel streak within your political system,he should be enjoying the autumn of his years dandering his grandchildren on his lap on a porch somewhere in Florida not traipsing around after his helpers as though he had any real relevance in the world of the twenty first century.

Seems easy enough to me.

“Hey, Pakistan, how’s it going? Good? Good. Democracy working out okay for you? Good, good. Say, I was just thinking about…hey, isn’t that India over there trying to steal Kashmir again?”*

<attacks when Pakistan is distracted>
*I’m hearing this in kind of a Peter Griffith voice

Hell, it’s not as if we’re making him run and lose. I’d prefer it if he did decide to spend time with his grandkids, which he may do in 2010 instead of running for reelection.

He’s going to send in an elite team composed of Chuck Norris, John Rambo and Jean Claude Van Damme. The motion picture rights will pay for the secret special ops teams and then they’re bringing us all back a pony, puppies and our favorite pie.

America, fuck yeah!

Mmmm…pony puppy pie…

Bin Laden has long ago faded to irrelevancy. Terrorism is a world wide problem and ignoring a countries sovereignty to go after him would be wrong. It would solve nothing.It might cause another war. I know how we would react if some country crossed our borders and bombed our land trying to kill a criminal.

Well sorry to piss on your fire but us Limeys are superior to you guys in that you’d have to send in three men but we’d only need to send in Bond.

He would very cleverly use all his years of experience and training to get himself captured by the Taliban which is not as easy as you’d surmise(Well the staying alive bit on encountering them would be quite tricky.)

They’d take him to UBL who would of course tell James his new,special secret plan.(Maybe something involving a huge truck that opens up on the road to swallow whole the allies military trucks leaving our boys mystified…

Fuck me there was a British army ordnance lorry on the road thirty seconds ago but now its vanished!Can you see it anywhere?

Na I cant see round that forty feet high,football pitched length native truck going about its everyday business…

But I digress…

After this UBL reveals his fiendish execution method that Bond is to endure.

It would be much too complicated to just shoot him so the bad guys have specially embedded razor sharp diamonds into a camels feet and it will walk over him slashing him to death .

BUT heres the fiendish part ,the camel selected for this diabolical plan is a geriatric so that it will walk VERY SLOWLY over our man in Afghan prolonging the fear and the agony(Just the sort of dastardly thing non British foreigners would do,the evil fox shooting swine)and incidentally giving 007 a hell of a long time to escape,but thats by the by.

A beautiful dusky maiden who has fallen in love with him during the traditional thirty seconds it took to spit on him ,cursed infidel forgotten by god that he is, as she passed by him(Some of the more orthodox muslims have been known to frown on this salivary contact between a young woman and an adult male,the ak47 toting chaperones around our hero notwithstanding)

Releases Bond from his Bonds.

He has a quick lookaround in the hope that he can get in a bit of crawling around ventilation ducts(Otherwise he feels a bit twitchy)

But typical bloody foreigners,they’ve neglected to construct even the bare minimum that an open mountainside in any self respecting espionage mission should have.

So after blowing up the Mega truck with explosive the size and shape of a piece of earwax supplied by Q(And might I add that it was REAL explosive,none of that plastic nonsense)

He fucks off on the nearest camel(I know but its to help make the place seem exotic and ethnic and all that) accompanied by the dusky maiden who as a twist in the plot turns out NOT to be a D.M. but is in fact Seargent"Slash the throats of all crap hats"Tuesday using the native attire to infiltrate the region.

So after an exciting camel chase its a large dry Martini and a shag with one of the better looking mountain goats for Bond and a nice hot cup of tea and toasted muffins for Slash.

This is because all S.A.S. troops are notorius for their eschewing alcohol in all its forms not to mention rejecting any idea of casual sex on each and every opportunity with any female in the vicinity no matter how much of a moose she is or having unusual characteristics such as a wooden leg or eight fingers on each hand.

As a British spy satellite focuses in on Bond still rove up his goat his uncanny sixth sense tells him that N(It was Ms weekend off) and his secretary Miss Prolapsed Fanny (who has always been secretly in love with him though shes got to getting on for a hundred and twenty by now)are watching him from Vauxhall cross back in London.

So he makes some witty play on words to do with commiting beastiality with goats and then lets the goat go over the cliff that hes being shagging it up against to get it to push backwards and increase both their pleasure.

Amusing remark or not its the fuckers back in London who get the last laugh because they’re back home with their families within a couple of hours whereas he’s stuck out in the middle of miles and miles of totally fuck all wondering where hes going to meet his next piece of livestock.
(He was prolonging his lovemaking because on his previous mission a Grizzly Bear had complained that he came too quick and he was feeling a bit sensitive about it,ah so frail is the male ego)

We used to do it to the Mexicans all the time.

Anyway, calling Bin Laden irrelevant is like calling tuberculosis irrelevant- you may not see it right now, but if it strikes, you’ll wish you got that shot.

Well, cast Daniel Craig and I’d watch it.


I want to like McCain (I respect his service to the country and all), I really do. But he isn’t helping himself out much by picking on Obama with this one, in my eyes.

How much “sneakiness” was there in the US’s attack on Iraq in 2003? (Or 1991, for that matter.)

IIRC, we banged the war drums kinda loud, before going in… ultimatums and everything.

But Obama’s comment is proof of his inexperience? Hmmm… ok. Whatever.

Pakistan has enough problems on their hands, and we know it. If they want to fight back they’ll have to pull their forces out of Kashmir and India. And if they actually threatened a nuke or fought with any real guile, d’ya think we’d bitch when India said “Do you mind if we step in?”

That post on Bond was some funny shit.

What I really wanted Obama to say was, “John, given the circumstance I described - we knew exactly where Bin Laden was, and Pakistan could not or would not go after him - are you saying you would not attack?”

McCain, moments later:

We’re all pretty well agreed that bin Laden is in Pakistan.

So, Sen. McCain… how are you going to get bin Laden? Presumably by not staging a military operation in Pakistan. Because that’s just what they’d expect us to do.

[sub]bomb, bomb, bomb…[/sub]

I don’t want to misrepresent John McCain, here, so if any of his supporters are around, please correct me if I’m wrong. But is John McCain saying that the best way to start an armed conflict is through a surprise attack? And if so, how well is that going to play with folks who still remember December 7th, 1941?

One word

Wait for it.

Ninjas. Seriously, go with Ninjas over Mujahideen every time.

Yeah, but can Bond slam a revolving door? I heard somewhere that Chuck can.

…please Og, somone use tongs to drop them in a hamper. Thank You!