If I had access to Hugh Jackman, that guy would be history and not 'cause Hugh, but 'cause I dumped his lame ass in a hot second. 
Awsome! 
Since I!d made the first move, he claims i have to earn the prize(him). Hes got it backward. I’ve heard tell in stories, the bible, and real life that the woman is the prize the man has to win over.
Hes not a prize. Hes not working, his mother, 80, is paying his rent, etc.
I don’t know if this helps or not but I come from a long line of women with extremely questionable taste in men. I don’t really understand it, but I think it’s partly societal, in the sense that many women don’t feel economically or emotionally secure without a man (and not too long ago that was 100% the case.) So they just go from one relationship to the next, sometimes changing their entire personalities to better suit the man of the hour. My grandmother had this so bad I don’t think she even knew who she truly was until her late husband finally keeled over and she said, “I’m not doing that shit again.” She is now a happily single 86-year old woman who gets to have her own opinions for a change.
What I’m saying is I think it might come from a lack of security, a feeling like you can’t be safe without a male presence, something that is deeply tied to living in the world as a woman where being unpaired can make you more vulnerable. That is a really hard mentality to get out of. I think it gets even harder when you’re living in poverty and just want some comfort in hard circumstances.
@SuntanLotion My prescription is: no more men for two years. Making male friends is fine, but you need to take some time to work on yourself and get your shit sorted before adding a relationship into the mix. You might be surprised what you learn about yourself and your strength and your value during that cooling off period. You might find being on your own is not as scary as you thought.
I’ve been without men, sometimes as long as 10 years. They start out perfectly nice, then the real person comes through. Do I have bad taste? I’d have to be psychic to know they would turn out as jerks.
Today I yelled at my husband for yelling at my son.
Not my finest moment.
Not his either.
We are still getting over COVID so I know patience is thin, but the dynamic between them sometimes drives me nuts. Rather than ignoring annoying behavior, my husband keeps responding in a way that keeps my son hooked into responding and escalating and escalating until my husband loses his temper. He wanted to be left alone for a set amount of time, but after setting the timer and explaining the rules, rather than disengage and ignore, which is pretty much what I do when I need “me” time, he kept arguing with my son every time he tried to get attention, until finally he snapped.
The yelling is quite frankly triggering of my PTSD and I’m tired of it. I think he really crossed a line today. Not that I did much better by screaming back at him. Ironically, what I yelled was, “STOP YELLING. IT’S JUST MAKING THINGS WORSE!”
I miss the forehead slap smiley.
You know, sometimes you just blow. It’s ok as long as you both aren’t yelling at him and each other every day. I’d bet we all do it from time to time.
It’s been 27 days since I last yelled. I track and keep notes because I don’t want it to be a regular occurrence.
I need to not catastrophize about it I guess. Spouse Weasel has been really great, he’s taken care of the kid all week, letting me sleep in so I can recover, and it’s just getting to him, I guess. But this is a pattern of behavior often enough it warrants some problem solving.
But…wasn’t this guy throwing red flags from day one? Unwilling to consummate the relationship while being unreliable AND making demands? What attracted you to him?
At any rate, this guy is toying with you and using you, so it’s time to kick him to the curb.
They often do give off red flags, generally in how they treat other people. People are always going to be nice to you if they want something from you, but it can be telling how they engage with others. Also if they talk about relationships in weird transactional language that sounds like it’s out of The Game, that’s a hard pass.
It gets weird. Sex takes a long time, usually always ending we me taking care of it orally.
Last night I told him I prefer if a man comes In me. He said he won’t. Why? I wont. Accept it. He should know I went through menopause a long time ago.
You need to un-ass from him. Soon.
He has issues that are not yours. You don’t need them.
I get it…it’s hard to be alone. You deserve better.
Every time someone tells you to forget this loser and move on, you respond with more stories of how poorly he treats you and how little self esteem you have. Does talking about him give you some kind of replacement buzz?
JFC! FFS get out of that relationship now!!!
I came in here to post something silly but that takes precedence. You deserve so much better than this total self-centered loser who’s going to drag you down with him.
I plan on taking my stuff back to my apt. Tomorrow.
Yay! I’m so happy.
In case anyone Doesn’t know, someone who says Don’t talk about me to your friends may realize the friend may see problem behavior and warn their friend.
I did discuss my troubles with the wonderful Beck, just didn’t let him know about it.
I’d also parse that request as “you’re the side piece I don’t want word about getting out” in most situations, but I’m guessing that doesn’t apply here.
No. He hasn’t been with anyone for years, surprise, even thought hes very outgoing.