Hollow, meaningless, incomplete life? This will help you (and apparently your anus)..

I’ve just learned that my life has been hollow and empty. After reading what you’ve been missing, you’ll agree yours is too.

Over at Amazon is a book that well, frankly, I must have.How to Good-Bye Depression : If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way?.

How in the world have I lived all these years without this book?

What’s amazing is that it’s sales rank is 5050! Just think. Out of the millions of titles available on Amazon, only 5049 titles sell better.

I suspect it’ll soon become an amazing motion picture in a theatre near you!

Or better: A Broadway Musical: Constrict! The Clenching Anus Musical!

Any world that can have this book in it is a pretty good one! :slight_smile:

Fenris

The author’s bio:

You wondered who all our bases are belong to? Well now we know!

Fenris (I must get this book!)

Fenris

How the HECK did you find this book?!!!

Disturbing is not a strong enough word to describe this book.

Oh, so this is out in paperback now? I’d been looking to replace my much-thumbed hardback copy…

anal trainer to the stars?

fenris, should you purchase this book you must get an autographed copy.

Naussica (Great movie btw. I love Myazaki’s (sp) stuff),

I read a Yahoo E-Group dedicated to weird books. Diana Kossy, of “Kooks” fame passed it along. I have no idea where she got it from. But she’s a goddess of weird books.

Fenris, you Magic Marker-sniffing weasel. The best argument yet for the SDMB policy against posting commercial links. Can I get a ruling? There’s never a mod around when you need one…

[*Geez. Um, the Darwin Awards? Shouldn’t that be telling us something?

God help me, there’s a quote from the book.*]

[*Oh, no, there can’t be others…Please don’t let there be others…
[sub]clicks on it[/sub]

There aren’t.*]
[sub]huge sigh of relief[/sub]

[laughing hysterically and splorting macaroni and cheese all over the keyboard]

[going upstairs to practice denting navel in hopes of someday being able to make number signs three times in succession without drawing out]

What 100 Times needs to make it to the top is some cross-marketing in conjunction with Colon Blow.

::And the count down begins to man’s first self-powered orbital flight by a fifty-six year old: “One-hundred, ninty-nine, ninty-eight…three, two, one…”::

Oh, c’mon. You’ve got to admit that knowing about this book enriched your life. I’ve actually ordered my copy. I’m serious. How can I live without it? Besides, how else can I burn out dirty stickyness?

And, bad news. You clicked on the wrong link. He’s got another book. Rejuvenation and Unveiled Hidden Phenix: Carlos Castaneda Shamanism Plus Alpha After His Death.

Not as good as “Clenching Anus/Hidden Dragon” or whatever the first one was called, but still interesting.

Fenris

Am I the only one turned on by this?

Eh, Fenris, you’re right, both me and the Better Half have had our lives immeasurably enriched by this man. I don’t normally drag him down to the computer to see what the SDMB dredged up, but this time I made an exception.

His response was that of a veteran of three pregnancies and childbirths–“Ah, Kegel exercises…”

It must be said:
Clenching Anus

WMAGNFARB*

*Would Make A Great Name For A Rock Band

Good lord! When I made the OP yesterday, the book’s sales rank was 5050, it’s now gone to 2,928!

It’s twice as popular as it was before!

Admit it. I’m not the only one here who bought a copy.

:slight_smile:

Fenris

Fenris,

Once you get this book you must give a full report on it - complete with exercises (information this important must be shared).

(BTW - I’ve never heard of that movie - I’m more of a James Joyce fan.)

In a roundabout way, someone has already beaten you to it. Several years ago there was a band called Chocolate Starfish, who had some chart success doing covers of other peoples songs.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16…

Gosh, quite tiring actually. I’ll work up to 100 a day.

Who in turn borrowed the character from The Odyssey.

MR

What in sweet gibbering fuck???

People who bought this book also bought books by Orson Scott Card???

This does not compute.

This is a riot.

One of the reviewers, one Henry Raddick, posted the following regarding our aforementioned anus management guide.

Ringpiece callisthenics struck me as a fabulous turn of phrase. So has Henry Raddick written any other reviews as humorous as this one?

Hell yes.

Check them out.

Now what I want to know is this. Fenris, are you Henry Raddick? :smiley: