Into the saxamaphone itself.
Woman: Be careful with the asphalt.
Homer: Kiss my asphalt.
I also liked it when Homer makes cardboard figures of George W. Bush and Jeb Bush. George Sr. looks through the peephole and sees them.
Homer: Hello, it’s your sons George Jr. and Jeb Bush.
George: Barb, the boys are here!
“Clarimanet? Saxamaphone? Tumaba?”
How many of these have there been?
When he’s eating the fertility drugs that the whole family gave to Apu’s wife Manjula.
Homer: Mmm… Ovulicious…
And another favorite.
Lisa: Dad, you’ve been driving in circles for twenty minutes! Why don’t you just admit you don’t know where the hospital is?
Homer: Why don’t you admit I know it’s around here somewhere?!
“That’s a fine barn, but 'tis no pool, english.” “D’OH-ETH!”
In a world gone mad, only the lunatic is truly insane.
“Stupider like a fox!”
“Mr. Simpson, why are you wearing a grocery bag?”
(haughtily) “I have misplaced my pants.”
“Who are you, and why are you ruining my retirement party?” “I’ll have you KNOW I wandered OFF from the TOUR.”
The delivery in that line is hysterical, IMO.
Why does Lisa have to be so moral? Why can’t she be more like … well, not like Bart! But there has to be a happy medium.
I told you. I thought the police officer was a pro-sti-tute.
Scorpio: Homer, I want to buy you lunch. You like Thai?
Homer: Tie good. You like shirt?
[QUOTE=tdn
“Marge, you can’t become a cop, because if you do, then you’ll be the man, which means I’ll be the woman, which means that I’ll have to wear the sexy underwear, which, as we discussed, is strictly for comfort purposes.”[/QUOTE]
This line gets more play around my house than I ought to admit.
Homer: Well, it was a good ride while it lasted. Come on kids, let’s go home.
Lisa: We are home.
Homer: (vacantly) That was fast.
Paraphrased:
Homer:“But Bart, there is no such thing as a doggie heaven.”
(Bart gasps)
Marge:“Mmmrh!”
Homer:“Or…to put it another way…there IS!”
That wasn’t Scorpio, that was Trent Steel, Max Power’s oldest and dearest friend. Hopefully this helpful tidbit of information will make up for my completely idiotic posting “blind spot” above :smack:
What are you talking about, I never had a plow buisness. (sings to himself) Mr. Plow, that’s my name. That name again is Mr. Plow.
I love it when Homer displays this knowledge of trivia. Like Chief Justices of the Supreme Court:
Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. What great men he would join. John Marshall, Charles Evans Hughes, Warren Burgher… Mmmmmmm… Burgher…
I often say this to the wife:
“I’ll understand if you want to sleep on the couch tonight.”
My bad. Must’ve been all those Flaming Moes I drank.