And it comes from what Johnny Hildo recently described as the “Star Wars cantina” of online dating.
A woman started writing to me last week. Yesterday, she asked:
To which I wrote what I believed was a thoughtful response.
Not too bad, I think. However, this earned me a succession of rather rude messages, which could be thought of as mildly anti-Semitic given their context.
Sigh. Star Wars cantina indeed.
Hole week services? Is that where she celebrates the great big hole she’s dug herself into?
Dude, block the silly bint. There are so many other women out there who are actually reasonable, why waste your time on this one?
I think she was an insensitive jerk, but I don’t see the anti-Semitism. She could have easily had the same response if you were Muslim or Hindu or Pagan.
You gave her TMI. Not TMI in a gross disgusting way, but TMI as in literally too much information*. You’ve obviously thought long and hard about religion, and your email shows it. She probably was expecting something a little more monosyllabic. So what does an immature person do when they’re treated like an intelligent person? They hide behind stupidity.
I think you just dodged a bullet. Be grateful.
*I think you could have stopped after the second paragraph. Talking about future kids when you haven’t even had a real date? That’s just asking for trouble.
of course it does, you bimbo, that’s the symbol of your faith. Replace “crucifix” with “Star of David” and tell me that draws you closer to the Catholic faith. At that, you completely ignored the part where he said “too religious”, and clearly was referencing an overabundance of religious icons, not “a crucifix on a wall”. And you didn’t acknowledge a single one of his specific follow-up questions.
And way to end on a ridiculously presumptuous note, I’m sure you’re pride and the fact that you seem to be judging aren’t going to count against you in the very system you claim to follow, fuckwit?
I fucking hate stupid people.
Lemme guess… Match.com? They seem to draw all the religious zealots out of the woodwork.
The response e-mail is way too long. It wouldn’t cause me to start looking down on your religion, but it would make me think you think way too much about religion for religion really not to be an issue.
I wouldn’t say you really experienced antisemitism. I would call it standard asshattery.
Eh. I like a person who thinks about things and will take the time to give a real answer. Regardless of I Feel Sorry For You Girl, if you want to meet somebody who likes who and how you are, keep writing long responses. If someone can’t take it, she’s a bad match for you. Don’t dumb down–you’ll attract dumb people.
I’m inclined to agree with that, para.#2 had a nice positive note and you could have just left it at that. That being said, it sounds like her particular question (“could be a potential issue/problem if we dated?”) had a particular answer that she was fishing for, and she didn’t get it. With these sorts of potential deal-breakers, my personal opinion is that you should just meet the person for a cup of coffee and find out if its worth it. Email is not a good medium for serious discussion. And if you can’t even imagine sitting through one short date with this person, then whatever it was you were asking about probably is a deal-breaker.
My match profile (when it was up) said that I smoked occasionally. I had one guy contact me, and then in the second email tell me that he wasn’t sure he could date a smoker, “just to let you know”. We emailed a bit more and talked about having coffee but in the end I decided not to bother.
Sorry, I meant eHarmony, not Match. Match was more of the women who said they love “kountry krafts,” shopping at Wal-Mart, and America. eHarmony was all the ones who wanted a bunch of kids STAT!, preferably with a “good Christian man” (even though they could see I was a non-practicing Jew.)
I’m not sure that I see anti-Semitism, so much as I see self-centeredness–and Catholic centeredness.
(As a Protestant, seeing Crucifixes on the wall cause a variety of reactions in me, but feeling closer to my faith isn’t generally one of them. And today, I’m singing “Hosanna”, not “Christ the Lord is Risen Today”. )
(And if I got a message like your e-mail response, I’d tell you that I appreciated your thoughtfulness, but that I would prefer to find someone who would share my faith, and that I didn’t think we’d be well suited. I’d try to do so in a way that didn’t make me sound like an insensitive dingbat.)
Elmwood, congratulations from another convert. 
Geesh.
I mean, I’m Christian and I would feel REALLY uncomfortable in a room with crucifixes everywhere. Not just crosses, though that would creep me out too, but big things with writhing agonized Christs everywhere. Just creepy.
I might ask the same question, but your answer – while it does tell me that your religious choices are important to you – also tells me you’re a thoughtful and intelligent fellow who doesn’t make snap decisions. A point in your favor.
Consider yourself well shut of her. And you didn’t even have to buy her coffee. 
(for what it’s worth, I’d invite a boyfriend to the Easter services but I wouldn’t be offended if he looked at going to church four days in a row and said “Uh, no, maybe I’ll catch one of them?” but I would LEAP at the chance to go to a seder, etc. I’ve always wanted to.)
Going to church 4 days in a row? Only Saturday activities I’m acquainted with for Holy Week have been in the form of “preparing for Easter Sunday”–as in choir rehearses with musicians, or works on processing and recessing, or decorating the church, or doing the make ahead portion of breakfast or other stuff like that. Not to say that some group doesn’t do more of a service on that Saturday, but I’m not aware of any.
I dunno, Elmwood. I liked your response, and its thoughtfulness would have drawn me toward you more. I like thoughtfulness in a man, intellect and curiosity, along with a kind heart in a muscular chest.
I don’t think she was anti-Semitic, as much as just annoying and slightly stupid.
Good luck with your search. There’s got to be a nice one out there for you!
Agreed. I think she misunderstood the main point of your reply, and took away from it that you don’t like Catholics, hence the huffy tone of her reaction. Stupid, but not hateful. I’m glad that you seem to be so enthusiastic about your religious path, but be careful not to turn into Uncle Leo and start calling everyone anti-Semitic. 
Hopefully you can find someone who has more compatible religious views and reading comprehension skills. 
I think she’s just a stupid twat who doesn’t know her own mind.
Also, if I’d gotten the response you sent, my answer would have been “is lunch on Sunday good for you?”
To me, there are two kinds of anti-Semitism.
The first is active, overt hatred. We’re talking Nazi and KKK hatred.
The second is the passive hatred of ignorance. She doesn’t know and, more importantly, doesn’t want to know, which is where the passive hatred comes in. She just doesn’t have the curiosity to learn even the basics of another religion.
She was definitely an asshole when she sent the last three messages: “I feel sorry for you but glad for me!” “Hallelujah! Christ is risen!” “Would you like to go to Holy Week services with me?” Those words mean that she is self-centered and completely disrespectful toward those who are Not Like Her. It’s not like you asked her to convert to Judaism, but she’s doing everything she can to bring you to Catholicism.
Fuck her. You don’t need her. But if you wanted to give her a taste of her own medicine, ask her to Sunday brunch. Preferably this Sunday.
Robin
Like others have said: not anti-Semitism, just general stupidity. If you’re really disappointed, I can call you a Christ-killing kike or something. I aim to please.