Boy was I a sucker. My girl friend had me beleiving nothing was going on. She had a so called friend from Virginia named Dave that She always spoke to on the phone and chatted with on the internet alot. The phone calls kept coming in and her calling him up 4 times a day and went i went to sleep or left the house god only know’s home many times. I finally got to the point were we had caller ID and called him up and told him not to call my house anymore. We argued about this situation and we were both getting upset of it including her 2 year old son.
It got peaceful for awhile then she started drinking heavily again and staying up to 5 am chatting and talking on the phone, which i always heard because i was a light sleeper. She use to get mad at me for not wanting to stay up with her till the morning hours and drink with her, but i was the responsible adult that got up almost every single morning with her child not mine feeding him and playing with him while she slept to noon sometimes. Then in the morning she decided to wake me up, to make her something to eat, and if i didn’t she use to hit me or kick me in bed or yell at me or drag me out of bed and have an arguement with me.
Thanksgiving Day was the topper were she was still up drinking at 7am while i was just getting up. She blew off dinner with my family, ignored her son and me, and we didn’t get to eat until midnight. I caught her when i went out to get something we forgot for dinner and she called up her friend Dave on his cell while him and his 2 daughters were eating by his mother’s house for Thanksgiving and caught something that came out of her mouth, saying i can’t wait to meet your 2 girls, ooops gotta go bye! love ya, talk to you later, what time will you be home.
I didn’t want to ruin Thanksgiving anymore then it was so i kept my mouth shut. The next time i was in the bathroom and her her talking on the phone again to him drunk as usual, telling me make sure the place has a washer and dryer. Another time were she denied to who she was talking to. I knew something was up when she was lieing to me and the sex and dreams of hers had stopped.
We blew off Christmas with my family, because she wanted to spend it with us she told me. I thought things were getting better, but was i wrong. She just finally gotten a job for 4 months after supposely looking for over a year when me and her lived together in Illinois. She had plans on getting her PHD going to North Western University and buying a car so i wouldn’t have to drive her each morning to work.
She all of a sudden said she wants to go to Washington to college, and that her full time job was not becoming part time, and her brushing up on a few college math courses at the college she worked at, and quit going to classes and always calling off from her job, mostly because she was always drunk. Then one night she went to bed and i have gotten up. I saw her emails up and they were all from Dave and him and her emailing each other back and forth even from work so i wouldn’t find out.
I dragged her drunk ass out of bed and said what’s this. She said i don’t know, those aren’t my emails, that’s not me. I was furious and was moving out the next morning. But me like a fool i didn’t. I thought she doesn’t have any money and her and her 2yr. old son won’t survive so i stayed. It was time were she was coming up with excuse after excuse after excuse. The idea of her buying car, no longer, the same with college, her job going to part time, her moving in with her sister back in Indiana. Lie after lie after lie, and ii started beleiving her.
Until she said i’m breaking up with you, and that she thought and already arranged the moving with her so called friend Dave from Virginia. She said we can still be friends, i still love you, blah,blah,blah,blah,blah. The day came were i got the boxes for her to move and her friend was flying in. I packed for her, even drove her to the Budget truck rental place, and on top of that she didn’t have enough money so i drove here to ATM machines in the cold snow.
She asked me to leave her and Dave to pack that friday, so i agreed to leave my own place and told her i will be here saturday to finish up with my packing. Well when me and my friend got there, nothing was packed and the truck not even started. I was was pissed. I even came back to help her and him move her stuff out like a big jerk. A week past , i tryed calling her mom, she gave me the run around, tryed leaving emails, voice mails on her sister’s phone , no response. All i wanted to know is how and her son Trey were doing and that she left some important stuff behind of hers and what she wanted me to do with it.
I started thinking to myself, making some sneaky call to see where that rental truck was actually returned to. Well it finally all made sense, it wasn’t Indiana it was Leesburg Virginia. What a big dope i was , I felt lied to and now used. So now i know i was right all along and i know her and her so called friend Dave are more in the state of Virginia.
I just want to state this to her because she views the Straight Dope everyday, probably still unemployed. Margie you were a great actress, i was right all along, you used your tax return to lie to me and move out, just like you did with me , when you moved out on your son’s father. I hope you and Dave are happy together. I’m a gentlemen were i’m not going to give out your doper name to the public on this board. My life has gotten better since you and Trey are out of my life.
Good things do come to an end. I got a job that pays better then i have ever had before, I already met a 29 yr old brazilian girl that treats me like a king and has a six figure income in Illinois. I’m moving out and buying myself a 2 bedroom townhouse and i don’t have to worry anymore about anything, especially no kids because she is single and she is all mine.
Margie i’m not mad or hurt anymore. HAVE THE F’N BALLS TO CALL ME UP ON MY CELL OR EMAIL ME. I DOUBLE DOG DARE YOU!
Well, the best revenge is living well, so enjoy your new life, and hopefully dave will check her drunk ass into a substance abuse program.
Welcome to the boards!
misterGTO - I congratulate you on your newest successes, and on getting away from someone who is clearly lost in her life. I feel for the little boy, but I do not fear for the mom…She will reap what she sows and the best news is " what comes around goes around, bad or good, no timelines involved"
She’ll get hers.
So she’s on the Straightdope huh? Yeah, there are some real winners on the boards…but for the most part the people here are really nice. I’m not sure if you can get banned for being a low-life though…we’ll see.
Dude, surely you can see crystal-clear that everything is better, and will only continue to improve. Let it go. Don’t send messages to her through her mom or sister or message boards. Don’t dare her to call you. In fact, if she does call, you’ll be wise to just hang up.
I’m sorry to be blunt, but here it is: she has never loved you and for a long time has sponged off of you. Find happiness in being free.
A bad thing happened in your life, and now it’s over. Things will feel better soon enough.
Can I just add that I agree wholeheartedly with Bill H..
I’m sorry you’re hurtin’, bud… but it sure sounds like you’re better off without her.
I’m sorry things aren’t going well, but must you punish the rest of us by not using paragraph breaks? Reading your story was a little like going through hell itself.
I’m wondering if you want her to call to give her her stuff or to try & make her feel bad. If your trying to make her feel bad probably won’t work. If you’re trying to return her stuff, screw it. Throw out the crap & let it go. She not your problem anymore & sounds like way more trouble than it’s worth.
I’ve tryed numberous times of getting her help, but she just won’t except the fact that she is an alcoholic, and i don’t care what happens to her or dave, i care about her almost 3 yr old little boy Trey. What is going to happen to him. The kid doesn’t even talk yet, just like grunts. That’s who i feel sorry for is the child ,NO ONE ELSE.
Ah yes another cynic in the making. i love this shit!
Come mistergto, come to the dark side!
But seriously, next time don’t be affrraid to go with you gut feeling.
Not that I need to tell you that…
Mistertgo, you’ll be much better off if you print Bill H.'s post and stick it to every surface in the house. The LAST thing you want is her contacting you. I’d even consider getting a different cell phone number so she CAN’T find you. When her tryst with “Dave” wears thin, she may be knocking on your door again. Until she gets sober and STAYS sober for at least a year, she should be off limits!
Anyone want to buy a bridge ?
Why? Are you looking to apply for Daves’ old job? Seriously, sever all connections with this problem. If you want to be self-destructive, take up crack smoking or start playing on the freeway.
Unfortunately this is out of your hands. The kid is her problem, and probably will be the state’s in the near future. Sorry to hear about it, but the sooner you accept that, the sooner you will move forward.
Posting dirty laundry on a message board you know your ex frequents might not be the best of ideas.
I just saw your other thread in MPSIMS regarding the same stuff. Also not a good idea IMO.
If she is truly as bad as you say she is then be glad you are rid of her. Move on and hope things shape up for yourself.
Referencing her connection to the SDMB over and over but not naming her appears to me rather silly and an effort to maybe embarrass her or cast speculation on her.
Just let it go and be happier in your own life.
Quick thoughts: Unless an acoholic sees the need to change - they won’t. And they’ll lie and lie and lie some more and not think twice about it.
Get on with your life, no contact, no nothing. Take that rescue fantasy of yours and hold a funeral. But, before you do, call child protective services and report the situation with the little boy.
Good luck to you.
Ruby wrote
I believe I’ll put that on my business card. Thank you very much.
mistergto, if the only reason you have registered and are posting on the Straight Dope Message Board is to harass one of its members, then you are not welcome here.
You can either start posting on other subjects, or you can leave, or you will be banned. It’s all up to you.
Lynn
For the Straight Dope