Attention everyone, I will now commence with the official minutes, followed by a long thread of corrections, additions, and raves and reviews by the other members of our illustrious crew.
Since I have taken on the privileged ::cough, cough:: duty of solemnly recording our meeting minutes, I will take liberties to describe the meeting with a somewhat different flair than the previous Hou Dope notes - you know, a disconnected string of sentences without explanation.
::Thinks to self, maybe if I do a really bad job I won’t be asked to do this again?::
So I will commence with… my trip to find the place Saturday night.
Our first night on Sat May 7 at 7 pm, we were to meet at the Ale House, a barsteraunt (like my new word?) located in downtown. Since beatle had the chauffering duties for our lovely guest zyada, he was worried he would be running a little late, and not the first one there to reserve the table, hold up the sign, and generally get things started. I decided I would try to get there early. Since I live some 20 miles south of Houston proper, I had to drive a ways to find the place. Having been there for the last Hou Dope meeting in January (was it January?), I attempted to rely on my previous experience, splendid sense of dead reckoning, and psychic powers. Note to self: get new psychic powers.
After misremembering the street to exit the interstate and the street to turn on, and missing the cross street name I remembered (Kirby), I ended up driving down Westheimer from Shepherd to Fountain View. Now I realized I had gone to far when I hit the 610 loop, but since that’s the Galleria area, it took that much further to find a gas station and a map. Thus getting my bearings straightened out, I retraced my route back to Kirby, over to Alabama, and made it to the Ale House just after 7. Guess I wasn’t going to be early after all.
To my surprise, beatle and zyada were already waiting, table staked out and drinks in hand. We began chatting and hoping to see the rest of the expected crew - Sealemon and Shanin, Cooldude, purplebear, JohnnyHarvard, The Nerd, and anyone else who sorta RSVP’d to the planning thread. (Hope I didn’t mangle any usernames too badly.) Of course none of us remembered - I mean bothered - to print out that handy list I made a while back on who to expect. We did know that Cessandra was going to be studying, and we would not be graced by her presence.
By 7:45 The Nerd showed up, and not too long after him CoolDude made his entrance. Big, bald as an egg, and earring - noticeable in a crowd. Sealemon and Shanin didn’t come in until 8:15 or so, after the rest of us had been eating. Still no purplebear. We were informed by the waitress that some woman had called looking for us a couple times, but nobody came to get us. Finally she called back, and beatle gave her directions to the bar.
Then we went out on the patio to attempt the Straight Dope Coast-to-Coast. Or something like that. Beatle had arranged with the Colorado dopers to get their phone number, and since they were meeting at the same time, we thought we’d try a phone hookup. Zyada kindly supplied the cell phone, and we dialed them up. The Colorado group was having a pretty good time, from what we could make out. Between the difficulty hearing on the phone and the confusion over who was talking to whom, and random phone hand offs, it was less organized than a house full of children and no supervision. The main thing we figured out was that techchick was having a good time. “Techchick was like wasted and stuff.” - Sealemon.
While this was going on, we kept our eyes peeled for purplebear, who still hadn’t arrived. We were getting worried. Meanwhile, the waitress cleared our table inside, and I lost my fries. Okay, they were cold, but dammit! Between phone passes, I made a couple trips inside to check for purplebear, and noticed this, so I gathered up what was left of our things and moved us completely outside at that point. Our waitress decided that since we moved she would hand us off to the outdoor waitress, and closed out our ticket. Okay. Beatle decided to put a note on the door so purplebear would find us - if she ever got there. He used purple ink, too. Of course he stuck it on the wall by the door about 6 1/2 feet in the air, above everyone’s head, so it wasn’t very successful. But he said it did draw the inevitable question from onlookers, what does SDMB stand for? We also had a sign on the table with those letters. Someone inevitably makes the connection to BDSM, so zyada said we’re the BDSM for dyslexics.
Since the Houston-Colorado phone exchange worked so well, we thought we’d try it with the New York group, too. They were supposedly meeting concurrently, but beatle didn’t hook up online with any of them ahead of time to expect us. The result was pissing off an Irish bartender. First beatle called, and asked if there was a group for Cecil Adams. The bartender said something about it being very crowded and blew him off. Then Sealemon called back and tried again. Same bartender answered, he asked to yell Cecil Adams. The bartender yelled out for “Adams”. We figured the SDers wouldn’t catch that even if they heard it. Then Sealemon said the code word was “Straight Dope”. The bartender decided it was a prank and hung up.
Straight Dopers - as opposed to Gay Dopers, or Straight Sobers?
Still no purplebear? I know I didn’t give her the instructions, why wasn’t she there yet?
Finally purplebear showed up - appropriately wearing purple. She missed the sign on the door, but didn’t have trouble finding us on the patio. She said she was visiting another friend in the area and couldn’t stop talking. Fine, be that way. ::sniff::
Conversation that evening had the usual variety of topics that covered the map. First observation of the evening was that the men’s room had a chalkboard over the urinals. I guess they figured graffiti was expected, might as well cater to the crowd. (Yep, I’ll take the bla - credit for that one.)
The “Flames by Satan” thread was mentioned, and the page of smileys for ChiefScott, and how funny zyada found that. We brought up the FFFBoard - and coined it the “effing board”. I know Opal will love that one. 
The question came up just how to pronounce Ayesha’s name. Since she wasn’t there, we put that on the list for Sunday.
Somehow the topic of christmas came up, and how it is celebrated in other countries that aren’t necessarily christian in heritage. It’s apparently big in Japan, and known in Korea and Hong Kong. Someone said in Hong Kong it is standard practice to get a card, appreciate the card and who it is from, then white out the name, sign it yourself, and send it to someone else. Just try not to send it to the person from whom you got it, I guess. Cooldude (I think) commented on how the Japanese religions took a big hit with the end of WWII, and suddenly boomed. Thus they played mix and match with religious elements.
I wanted a daquiry, but they didn’t make “blender drinks”. And the coke was lame - it was either flat or Pepsi.
We kept our eyes peeled, but no one else showed up looking for us. We sorta expected JohnnyHarvard to show up wearing paint-splotched cammo after his paintball game, but he didn’t make it. However, the topic of paintball did come up, how it is played, variations on the rules, whether you can be “wounded” and play with a limp or something, etc. I got to be the resident paintball expert, having played some before. Suffice it to say there are variations on rules, and there are usually referees on the fields to enforce fair play. And it’s very fun, if you don’t mind running around in the woods, getting hot and sweaty, and getting thumped by paint pellets at high speed. And some of the guns get very expensive.
There was other conversation that didn’t get recorded on the notes page, so you don’t get to hear about it unless one of the others remembers and chooses to post.
Purplebear noted, “Purplebear is here, having a blast!” With a heart for the dot on the exclamation point. She also remarked that she and zyada share the same maiden name! Small world.
About midnight the second waitress dropped off our ticket so she could get settled up to get off work, so we once again played split the bill. Not that we had to leave at that point, but after Cooldude, Sealemon, and Shanin split, the rest of us were winding down anyway, and beatle started turning into a pumpkin. So we wrapped up, settled the check, and headed our separate ways.
I made it home in one piece, despite getting a bit sleepy on the way. Not so bad I was in danger of wrecking, merely tired enough to feel it. I quickly got ready for bed, but then decided I needed to check the plans for Sunday (you forgot about Sunday, didn’t you?), so I had to log on and check my email and the board. But I only read a couple threads before quitting for the night.
Sunday, Sunday, Sunday - time for Hou Dope 7 b. This time we had the Crab Shack Blues - Joe’s Crab Shack on Richmond. And this time, I checked the map ahead of time.
When I got there, beatle, The Lion, and Ayesha were already on the patio. Zyada had already been sent on her way home, so she could perform with her bellydance group. We were eventually joined by The Nerd. Not a huge group, but a fun one. (Sealemon was supposed to be there, but wimped out.)
First things first, we cleared up Ayesha’s name pronunciation confusion. It is “I E Sha”, not “A E Sha”, or “A Yesh a”, or other screwy version. So now you know, don’t screw it up anymore!
Still plenty of varied conversation:
We talked about the board as an interaction tool, and the only way some of us get out of the house. It’s not just pixels on a screen, there are people on the other side of that computer. We all hate those stupid people who think that just because it’s internet communication, it’s somehow okay to be a prick. If you’re one of those people, no it’s not.
We also discussed the board’s division into forums (fora), and we think it’s pretty good. It’s nice to have some distinctions to sort types of topics, but you don’t want too many forums because you’ll end up with too much confusion over where to post your topic or find discussion on your topic.
The issue of computer security came up. The Lion is under attack. Since he has DSL, he got a firewall and lots of security software. He has his set to alert him on port checks from outside, and gets lots of messages daily.
The Nerd’s friend Groovyside came up - we talked all about her.
There were remembrances of Byzantine in Houston. I missed that one. 12hrs? Wasted? She made her living selling letters to Penthouse Forum?
Ayesha is as big a bitch in person as she is on the board - or so she said.
We also noticed the water there tasted of chlorine - pool water? Yep, it was yummy.
Coldfire was voted the poster we’d most like to meet. He has better English that beatle. And he owes beatle a beer. Now if beatle can just go to Amsterdam to collect.
Beatle did get his Sacky from jab1/George Kaplan. For those who didn’t follow, there was a thread on the Effing Board posted by “George Kaplan” saying he was an SD reg under another name, and would send a Sacky to the first person to guess his identity. Beatle figured it out, and he did get his sacky - unlike some people who made bets on the board.
Ayesha declared that Sealemon is grounded for life - maybe beyond!
One topic I forgot from Saturday, after UncleBeer announced the new ability to track users by their registration sequence number, zyada wanted to piece together some javascript code to poll the list and collect stats on the users. Things like average number of posts per person per day, how many users are still active, who is the most frequent poster. Something like that. The Nerd commented he could probably do that pretty easily. Turns out he hacked up some code and tried it out before the Sunday meeting. We’ll be seeing a thread on that shortly, I’m sure.
Ayesha discussed hepatitic C a little, and the need for everyone to be educated about it. She’s got a lot more to say on the subject than can be captured here, but it is worth finding out about. (Now you’re on the hook, Ayesha. )
Website for anonymous retribution - http://www.doggiedoo.com . Hire out someone to send doggie doo to someone you don’t know.
This brought up an anecdote with an important moral - be very careful of snacks at beatle’s!
Also the topic of fun x-mas gifts. One is a stocking with a pile of doggie doo on it. The other was a box of rocks. Both were more than they seemed.
Then came up the topic of magazines, and what’s on the covers. Like why hot rod magazines have sexy women in the pics, and why women’s fashion mags always put on scantily clad babes. What’s that about? Playing to the lez crowd, trying to make you feel inadequate, or showing you what the competition looks like?
How about a cop radar? They use GPS to track their locations. If you can pick up the signal and display it, you’ve got a tracker for the cops.
Beatle is 47. Happy Birthday, beatle! He played drums for 25 years in bands, and stopped 10 years ago. Yep, he’s old. And going deaf.
Guys vs girls and towels - guest towels are NOT for guys to wipe their butts on.
The obligatory bathroom observations - since we seem to be noting these things, I wouldn’t want to leave this one out. This place didn’t have condom machines, it had toothbrush machines. The decor was random patterns of broken tile - yeah, that spells class. :rolleyes:
Back when beatle turned 35, there was a running joke where all his buddies went around writing “beatle for President in '88” on the bathroom walls in the bars across Houston. One night he went to a usual hangout and handed his credit card to a new waitress, and she was surprised to discover who beatle was. “Oh, you’re beatle.” [Editor’s note - beatle’s real name was used, but for purposes of the board we’ll just use his handle.]
They had Daquiris - YEA!!
We had a less than thorough discussion of the non-US contingents.
Aussies
- GuanoLad, Dave Martini, any others?
Brits
- Scarlett Pumpernickel, glee (still around?), Andros (in U.S.), Android (in U.S.)
The Netherlands
- our favorite clogboy, ColdFire
Germany - tatertot
Japan - Aren’t there some from Japan?
Iceland - bjorn
Mexico
- el Mariacho Loco, E1skeptic
Spain - Laurence
South Africa - ???
and of course all the Canucks
A lot of bad things were said about those who didn’t show up but were supposed to.
Final words - “It was Great!”
Okay, that’s the official minutes, as recorded by Irishman. If anyone complains, too bad, you had your chance. I kept offering for others to write things down, but noooooo, everyone was too scared to pick up the pen (except purplebear). Let the sniping commence. At least I got them on the board before the weekend is up.
I’m going to bed now.
.
