I used house in the generic sense in my title. We’ve all had to find a place to live at one time or another, whether buying or renting, house or condo or trailer or refrigerator box under an overpass. I, personally, have a few tales to share of some more memorable places we’ve seen. I hope you can share some, too.
The first one was in Feb or Mar 1984. FCD and I were newlyweds, looking for our first place together (the crappy triplex unit I was living in was, well, crappy.) We decided we wanted to live on Lake Asbury, which is a man-made spring-fed lake in Clay County, Florida. The first few houses we looked at were ranch style and OK, but not exciting. Our realtor told us of one that had a 2-car garage with a bonus room, so we were excited to see it.
I want to pause here and set the scene. You know how when a flight of stairs isn’t under another flight, you typically just have a wall facing you as you descend? It usually extends the ceiling height of the upper floor, so it’s a large blank space. Well, the stairs between the garage level and the bonus room had such a wall. And mounted on this wall was the taxidermied back end of a white tail deer with its tail up and its little butt hole right there for the world to see. Oh yeah, classy. To this day, we refer to it as the Deer Butt House. We didn’t buy that one, but not because of the ass…
Fast forward to late 1996/early 1997. FCD had just gotten a job in Fredericksburg, VA, and I was expecting an offer in Dahlgren, VA. We were house shopping in King George, which was pretty much in between the two. One of the houses we looked at was not staged very well. It was owned by a single man. There was a motorcycle in the dining room. In the kitchen was a Styrofoam head with a woman’s wig on it, and assorted styling tools on the table. We assumed at the time that the guy was studying to be a beautician, but maybe not. :eek:
A week or so later, we went to see a 2-story colonial on ¾ acre. Wonderful curb appeal, a circular driveway, lots of trees between the house and the road, a nice porch. The house was owned by the builder – he was building another house in a ritzier neighborhood, so he had this one on the market. He was a hunter.
Inside the house, we saw a bobcat, a fox, assorted fowl and fish, assorted deer parts (no butt, tho) and three, count ‘em, THREE BEARS!! One was standing on his hind legs with his forelegs in the air. One was on all fours, looking to the side as if to say “Don’t shoot me, bro!” The third was a rug. We called that the “Dead Animal House.”
I mentioned that the seller was the builder because in the dining room, there was a large water stain on the ceiling. The upstairs water heater had leaked. They had replaced it and had it sitting in an overflow tray, so that wasn’t a problem. But this guy was a builder. He had people working for him – like painters. And yet he couldn’t be bothered to slap a coat of white on the ceiling in the dining room!
We bought that house. We got a great deal because it had been on the market so long and he had to sell before his new place was finished. It took me a whole hour to paint the ceiling. :rolleyes: Had he removed the zoo and painted himself, I’m sure he’d have sold faster and at his price. What an idiot!
Maybe later on, I’ll tell you about some apartments I had… Your turn!