I read most of this thread but not all of it, so I apologize for any repetition of previous posts.
I’m a 17 year old girl going into my final year of high school, and I’ve been single through all of it. Personally I don’t feel like I’ve missed anything by not having a boyfriend. It’s not a requirement to have a S.O. while in high school. Many people don’t; it’s just that you hear more about the people who do. Many high schoolers think that by having a significant other they are somehow worth more or confirming that they are lovable or attractive, etc… There’s a lot more to it than that. The time and the person have to be right. Just because that hasn’t happened yet does not by any means indicate that it won’t happen.
Being desperate for friends or a girlfriend puts too much pressure on you and on the people you are talking to. This could push them away or make you feel awkward in talking to them. Try going into the conversation with absolutely no expectations - of yourself or them. When you ask questions, they should be genuine - even if that’s just asking for a ruler because you actually need one, or asking what the pin on their backpack means because you just don’t know. If something comes of it - whether that’s one conversation, or hanging out at lunch sometime, or whatever - doesn’t matter to the first stuff you say to the person. It’s not relevant, and it’s not helpful, to think past a simple sentence or two. You’re putting too much pressure on yourself from the sounds of it, and wrapping up your self-worth in whether or not you have a girlfriend.
It sounds like you could benefit from some sociable after-school activities or clubs. Try drama club, debate club, leadership, or toastmasters. If you can, summer camps are great opportunities to boost your confidence by starting fresh and making some new friends - everyone at summer camp has nobody that they know yet, so it’s an even playing field. Maybe you just need a change of scenery or a new activity to try out. That said, don’t go into it expecting a summer fling or lifelong friends. Allow things to unfold naturally. Most of that stuff happens when you least expect it.
Similarly, there’s a saying that life happens when you’re making other plans. So try focusing on finding things that interest you, and other people will probably become more interested in you. If those things also happen to mean that you have a neat party trick or dance move that will give other people a conversation starter, so much the better, but what matters is that you can distract yourself from feelings of loneliness or need for external confirmation.
I’m a fairly confident person, and good-looking, intelligent, and interesting. And no, I don’t include that vaguely egotistical list in every post - I am merely pointing out that there’s nothing inherently wrong with me that would explain me not having friends and/or being single. But I went the majority of last year with very few friends at my school. I know how easy it is to feel sorry for yourself and blame other people or your environment, or alternatively to think that it means there is something wrong with you. But once you put the external obstacles - where you live or who goes to your school - down as just tough luck, and start thinking of yourself as a worthwhile person to get to know, the whole ‘making friends’ thing does get easier.
Guys have the responsibility to realize that girls/women are autonomous people with our own interests, who neither need nor necessarily want to date any given guy, and do not need any excuses for this. Having a girlfriend is not a box to check off or a rite of passage. It is linking yourself with another actual person, who has flaws and habits and aspirations. When the situation is right I’m sure you will find a girlfriend. You sounds like a fine guy and having a girlfriend is not an unreasonable aspiration, but it isn’t something that you are owed and it isn’t something that can be rushed.
No girl likes to feel like every conversation is an interview. If you ask questions, make them relevant. Don’t interrupt her conversations, or talk to her every single day when you don’t know her well. Just smile or give a little wave when you see your crush in the corridors of school. Don’t try cheesy pickup lines or hitting on her (sounds like you already know that). Try keeping the conversation less personal, but not boring - i.e., make jokes about the cafeteria food/a difficult class/a TV show. Keep the compliments low-key and subtle if you can. Don’t seize on every single opportunity to talk to her, and don’t get into (or pretend to be into) all of her interests, or she may get creeped out. Just be a decent person but be natural (hopefully I’m wording this right).
At this age, I know, it’s easy for you or I to think that because something hasn’t happened yet it will never happen. But there are lots of people on here, with a few more years of experience, saying to take your foot off the gas and just give yourself, and the people you’re talking to, a little time. Some really good advice has been given on here already but as a teenage girl myself I wanted to add my 2 cents’ worth.
Btw, lots of girls dig short guys. People with much worse setbacks have had lots of fulfilling relationships.
