Volunteer volunteer volunteer!
I understand your reluctance to commit to a class or some activity where you’ll be obligated to do something every week. But there are lots of things you can volunteer for on a catch-as-catch-can basis. (And I was going to suggest walking shelter dogs, Karyn!)
Also, with regard to sports–yes, there are many many leagues for adults! There are usually some regular pick-up games around too. Remember that different leagues and games have different cultures. For example, some adult ice hockey leagues are serious and competitive. But there are games around where half the people don’t really even know how to skate and everybody just whacks the puck around and has a good time. So you should be able to find something appropriate to your level.
Stop thinking about meeting guys, and start thinking about just meeting people. Practice talking to random people. Work on your social skills and your social life. Then when you do happen to meet a guy you’d like to get to know, you’ll be a lot better prepared to strike up a conversation and signal to him that you’d like the conversation to continue. (And as others have said, asking him out is a really good way to send him a signal!) Also, if you have some volunteer activities or sports going on, you’ll have something to talk about.
