You can’t limit. Oh you think you can but you can’t.
Just look at the last poster and myself. It is past midnight. We are both still here.
Stay away 
Hey! No-one was supposed to mention the rituals! Now you’ve got the newbies and the goats spooked!
BTW, Keapon Laffin, what’s this about an exit ritual? No-one ever mentioned an exit ritual to me.
Bwahahaha! snerk
:: pause ::
Bwa-ha-ha-ha haaa…
What? Only an hour? Sometimes it takes me an hour just to compose one post! [sub]not necessarily at work, of course[/sub]
Oh wait. I just reread your post, smartini. nods All is clear now.
In my experience, this place is a slippery slope…
…to erudite doooom!!!
:: krak-THOOOM ::
You’ll never be able to take things for granted again! You’ll demand cites and explanations of reasoning from all sorts of authorities! You’ll start babbling in-jokes and visiting DopeFests and thinking, everytime you see some odd thing in the news, “Man, I gotta post that on the boards…”
When the illness becomes serious, you’ll start instigating DopeFests.
I understand that some of the most seriously-afflicted have married other Dopers, and have effectively locked themselves and their future families in for life.
Me, I woke up at 4AM and the first thing I did was fire up the computer and jump on the boards. I keep telling myself I should get ready for work.
Any minute now…
Just one more post preview…
Still only drinking beer, though. Some cocktail party this turned out to be.
Steinlager, Lion Red or that “real southern man stuff” though? None of the above works better
Getting over a heroin/crack/coffee/chocolate speedball addiction would be easier and less painful than trying to break oneself away from this place.
Listen to that Shirley woman. She tells the truth.
New Zealand Lager: $10.99 for a dozen at Foodtown.
The only antidote to the SDMB is getting hit with a 1920’s style Death Ray.
Come to the light jgroub, come to the light. We are waiting.
Hello, my name is Phall, and I’m a Doper. The key in overcoming my addiction is to accept that I am powerless in my addiction. I am powerless to overcome the overwhelming urge to click on my Favorite link which will take me to other Dopers who are experiencing the same addiction. I am helpless in my fight against the resistance of the entire Doper experience. I’ve given over my addictive behavior to a higher power, and that higher power’s name is Cecil. Now, I just take it one day at a time.
No offense intended to anyone who is participating in any ten step program, or who is overcoming addictions of any kind.
Actually, if I’m limited to dial up on the weekends while at home, I don’t bother signing on, since it takes forever to move from one area to the next. I do, however, find myself saying, “Oh, I heard from one of the Dopers <fill in the blank with whatever latest bit of trivia, idea or suggestion to which I’ve been exposed most recently>” I don’t get the least bit defensive when I say, “Oh, no, I don’t mean Dopers as in drugs.” :smack:
Welcome to the Hotel California of Internet forums.
I checked out once. In 1960. For twenty minutes…
…but I never left.
Did a quick search on Google
Searching Eagle’s words
“Warm smell of colitas”
The phase sounds absurb.
Coming up on the blank screen
I saw an interesting link
I positioned the mouse over it
And I clicked in a blink.
Well, it was the Internet
And you never can tell
I was thinking to myself:
This could be Heaven or this could be Hell
I registered as a “Guest”
The link showed me the way.
There were theads all over the page
Thought I heard them say: Hey!
Welcome to the Straight Dope Message Boards
Cecil Adams’s place (Cecil Adams’s place)
Hang out in Cyberspace
Plenty of threads on the Straight Dope Message Boards
Any time of year (Any time of year)
You find Dopers here.
Her name is Lynn Bondini
She takes care of the Pit
She tells people to bring chocolate
And then they can say “shit.”
How they post at the Straight Dope
And scream for a cite
Some posters are real jerks.
Most are really bright.
So I started a new thead
About wasting my time.
They replied: We’ve had the same people here
Since 1999.
And still those damn threads are calling from far away
Make you post in the middle of the night just to hear them say:
Welcome to the Straight Dope Message Boards
Cecil Adams’s place (Cecil Adams’s place)
Hang out in Cyberspace
We’re posting all day on the Straight Dope Message Boards
It’s a crying shame (It’s a crying shame)
Come get your Doper name.
All of the posters here
We have a secret vice:
We are all just prisoners here
Of our own device.
And in Cafe Society
They talk of arts and feasts
And in the Great Debates they scream
Over who’s the Bible’s Beast.
Last thing I remember I was clicking
With my left and my right hand.
I had to find the passage out
Before I found myself banned.
“Relax” said TubaDiva.
“The computer’s programmed to receive
You can logout anytime you like
But you will never leave.”
Brava!
Wow. Just…wow.
Encore!
(holds lighter over head)
clap clap
That was awesome, Annie-Xmas. You ought to record it.
Do Freebird!!!
Thanks, Dopers. I’d like to hear a version, but sung by anybody else in the world.
And thanks to ccwaterback for the “Hotel California” idea, and to Unca Cecil himself for doing a column on “colitas.” Tying the two ideas together was easy.