At least on this board, it’s usually the folks WITHOUT kids who start threads like “How can you stand being a parent?”
Like, you know, this thread.
One of the reasons for this that I’ll bet you’re not thinking of is that it’s politically incorrect for someone to say that they don’t like their kids so they’re not likely to start a thread about it.
As a related example, it’s only been in recent history that women could admit to suffering from post-partum depression. A few brave souls spoke up and said, “Hey, this doesn’t make you a bad person” and all of the sudden, women felt free to say out loud that they had PPD.
We’re “supposed” to love our kids. Society says that if you don’t unconditionally love your kids, you’re not worthy.
In defense of the OP, I wish more people would ask others about the realities of having children rather than caving into peer pressure because it’s what we’re supposed to do.
If the OP wanted reality stories about raising children, he could ask for them. “How do you stand being married or having children?” is really a different question–one which invites answers like the ones given. I don’t “stand” being married, I happen to like it very much. I don’t “put up with” my kids’ existence, I wanted them and like having them around.
We could easily start a “tell me your stories of bad days” thread, and I’d be happy to contribute to that too, since of course raising children is a difficult and exasperating job, when it’s not outright terrifying. That’s why parents trade poop stories. But, on the whole, parenting is (for me, anyway) a way better option than not having children, and it’s all worth it blahdeblahdeblah seeing your sleeping angel child is reward enough, and so on. (Rewards also consist of the fiendish pleasure of taking embarrassing pictures to show friends in 12 years*, hilarious comments by 4-year-olds, and grandchildren who act exactly like their parents did.) And a thread titled “don’t you hate your children?” is only going to make me say that in fact I like them, which is the perfect truth.
*My 6-yo has just lost both front teeth. I have taught her the front teeth Xmas carol and plan to videotape it to show when she’s 15 and a Goth or something. Bwahahahahah!
Awesome.
Actually, the childless-by-choice living in our society (like me and my husband) don’t feel particularly free to express ourselves and our opinions on kids and having kids. I thought this was a particularly brave thing to do, to start a thread like this. Most of the answers here have been great; there have only been a few instances of condescension and patronization of people making different life choices.
My chilldless-by-choice perspective - I was born without the biological whatever that makes people want children. I am a genetic dead-end, and I’m at peace with that. I don’t like kids, I’m not interested in kids, I don’t want to have any of my own kids, and I don’t particularly like being around other people’s kids. My life is fulfilling and fun. I am basically happy with it - there is no child-shaped hole in my life. The tragedy is not me not having kids; the tragedy would be someone like me having a kid with zero interest in having one.