Yes, but do you love him? That was an awfully clinical assessment of his qualities but is he fun? Do you love being with him? Do you miss him when he’s not around?
As for the sex, surely you don’t actually think that ‘Mr. Perfect’ exists such that he would show up in your life and magically know exactly how to cause you ecstasy in bed the first time and every time? That happens in Harlequin romances, not in real life.
I dunno Kalhoun this tells me she wants him out…no?
It tells me she hasn’t given him enough time, based on this:
and this:
I don’t know too many people who find their stride with another person after only two attempts. After all, she didn’t say it sucked completely. And the second time was better than the first. She’s not communicating with him. I think if he has all those great qualities, she should give it some more time. That’s all.
These two sentences from the OP tell me that her feelings for him run less than, oh, say, 2 inches deep. Thus my suggestion for a quick, relatively painless dumping in post #2.
The answer to that is no, yes, meh, and no. I guess I missed making my point in the OP by trying to put a humourous spin on it. I can’t find anything wrong with the guy except that we just aren’t clicking. (Or at least he isn’t clicking with me.) It’s a little more than just in the bedroom, but I can’t quite put my finger on it. I know that sex is not the majority part of a relationship, but quite frankly, it’s important to me. I don’t want to dump him just for being bad in bed. I agree that a couple more auditions may be warranted, and I will try to give him some guidance and see what happens.
So your gut is telling you, meh…?
Just wanted to say: best Randy Jackson impersonation ever. Most people ruin it by going too heavy on the “dawg”'s. Yours was pitch-perfect.
And she didn’t use any pointless eye dialect that doesn’t change the pronunciation in any way, let alone accurately reflect the speech of the subject.
As someone who thinks Sanjaya is a good singer, albeit with room for improvement, I say you give him another chance and tell him what he is doing wrong (and right).
Now, if he does not listen to your suggestions and try to umm, please you in a more agreeable way, then you may be Simon and Dump. His. Ass.
You’re just not that into him. If the best you can come up for him is a meh, dump him and move on.
Also, if after a few months, you’ve only slept together twice, there is absolutely no passion.
After 26 years of marriage my wife and I are still telling each other what we want in bed. You’d think after all that time we’d mesh, right? No, because sometimes one of us wants to zig while the other is thinking zag. We may be perfect for each other, but we aren’t mind-readers, for cryin’ out load.
The problem isn’t sex, the problem is that now that you’ve been naked and vulnerable to each other (both literally and figuratively) and he’s still only “nearly perfect” and you expected more.
By the way,
Those are all nice qualities, but how does he make you FEEL?
He makes her feel “meh.” I think she’s right - if it isn’t right, you can’t force it. It was probably a hard decision for her to make; it’s hard to kick Mr. Almost Perfect to the curb, because then you have to start all over again, but if the reason that he’s Mr. Almost Perfect is that you are simply not compatible, I don’t think it’s likely to get better.
Telling a man he just doesn’t do it for you is not fun. I had to do this twice and remember it as being pretty awful and then glad I did it cleanly. Chemistry is important to me and I told Ray that. He said he felt a lot of chemistry and I said I felt none.
Scott thought I was the perfect woman but I didn’t feel what I wanted to feel and I let him try to persuade me but words weren’t changing anything. He was the most awful because Ray’s speech just slid off him like water off a duck and I had to be brutally honest and say it out loud.
“You’re not what I want” 
I think that’s what you say. And it has the advantage of being the truth from your perspective.
The whole sex thing is a red herring. If you don’t click, why would it change in bed? Well, I guess except for those people that are looking for just that but you don’t seem to be describing yourself as that.
The way you describe Mr. Nearly Perfect sounds more like Mr. Just Eligible in a lot of ways. I would think that Mr. Nearly Perfect has some chemistry, some common interests, some shared goals or direction, some intrigue or at least something that sets him apart from the bunch.
Anyway, good luck with your decision.
The OP has no obligation to work at anything or try to make it work if she doesn’t want to. Sometimes the chemistry just isn’t there even if you like the person. hasn’t anyone else been in a situation where you feel like you should be really into a person but you just aren’t? I would bet that the unsatisfying sex is a symptom of that missing chemistry, not a cause of it.
Pimaspinner, I’m an advocate of the band-aid approach to ending relationships. Just rip it off. It only hurts for a second. Tell him you don’t feel a spark, you like him but you don’t think he’s the one and have a nice life. Whatever you do, don’t drop the “we can still be friends” line.
Yeah, he might be bummed out about it, but that’s something he’ll have to work through for himself. The alternative is to stay in an unfulfilling relationship indefinitely. The longer the relationship drags on, the harder it will be to fire him. He’ll get over it sooner or later, probably sooner, since if he has as many good qualities as you say, he shouldn’t have any trouble finding someone else.
If you’re certain that you want it to be over, be quick, honest and firm.
As a guy I’d like to add a vote to the “don’t play games in an effort to let him down easy” column. Rejection sucks. It’s going to hurt him, I imagine, and you’re not going to enjoy it, either. But a flat out, “I’m sorry, this just isn’t working,” has the advantage of being a clean cut, I think. It’s not going to raise false hopes, nor leave him wondering if he’s supposed to read more into a string of ‘missed opportunities’ than is being said.
Hey, that’s a pretty good Paula.
Am I seeing another problem here? You are describing how much he likes you, but not much about how you feel about him. “Nice” may be nice, but are you more looking for Mr. Excitement?
I had first read the OP thinking that you really liked him but his performance in bed was good, but it seems deeper than that?