Men, when using a urinal, do you undo your pants all together or merely unzip your fly?
Got into a heated debate at a party recently over which was the best way. Personally, I use the zipper. The predictable response I recieved at the party was “well, maybe I’m just too BIG to fit through the zipper! (chortle chortle)” Or maybe these people don’t have the dexterity to use this part of their body effectively…
How about you?
I have already covered this. (Ha! Not Cecil, but Coldfire? Yes sir!)
Here’s the link: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=20154
For the record, I use the zipper.
Man, SeriousArt, I hate to think about the questions you’d be asking if you were in a restroom with Ukelele Ike, who once explained…
[quote]
I carefully wrap them in gauze and aluminum foil, then daub the whole thing over with clear fingernail polish and blow on it until it dries. I’m dreadfully afraid of the fire ants.
[quotes]
I sit down!
And I’m a guy! 
>>>Talkinsquirrel wrote: “I sit down!”<<<
In a urinal? I’ll bet THAT gets you some odd looks.
TalkingSquirrel? Are you my ex-husband? He’s the only guy I ever met who sat down to pee. He also wiped his weiner after a pee rather then just shaking it off. He would take one square of toilet paper, fold it in quarters and neatly dab the end of his willy dry…
Was your Ex raised by a single Mom? The only person I ever saw TEACH her kid to that was an anal retentive renter of my Dads. Talk about wierd…
First I make sure that I’m alone, so as not to intimidate anyone near by, then I unlock the heavy duty padlock on my zipper that keeps the BEAST in check, unzip the industrial grade zipper I have to have installed in all of my jeans, reach inside and open the fly on my specially designed, wire mesh reinforced briefs and grab with both hands.
After a brief struggle, I haul the great, firehose-like member out, stand 5 feet away from the urinal and release the pent up flood from within. With pinpoint accuracy, I hit the porcelain device and when finished, I use a milking motion to squeeze out the last cup full, clean up with a wad of paper towels and wrestle the beast back into the safety of it’s cage.
The world is safe once more.