My goodness, so many sphincters slammed shut in this thread!
I’m gay, long out of the closet and politically-minded, so I’m not some airhead twink who never thinks about equality or rights. I thought this thread was hilarious. I highly value my fruit flies (few as they are). There ARE bad fag hags, but I don’t detect the signs in the OP (not sincerely, anyway…the OP is obviously a camp take on the subject, the OP’s desire to find some gay friends notwithstanding).
Ahem… #I will not GrammarNazi in a Gay thread.
Man! Some of the things we post here really should be published in a “Best of The Straight Dope” e-book!
How about that as a little revenue generator, y’all?
Q
I’d buy that in a heartbeat! Especially if contained classics such as the blimp of doom and the cooler of evil.
And my personal favorite: “Am I Farting Holes In My Underwear?”
Q
And the Hal Briston/Sheep saga.
ETA: Sheepgate?
Remember - a gay is for life, not just for Christmas.
I’m still looking for my forever home. 
(Cue Sarah McLachlan.)