Just over a month ago, my boyfriend didn’t show up for work. We all figured “Must be car trouble, that’s so unlike him!” My favorite uncle died that morning, so I was anxious to get home to him; I wanted some comfort.
When I got home, all of his stuff was gone. He’d packed up and moved back to FL while I was at work. No warning, no word, no note. I had to call his mom and find out from her that he was on his way to FL. The night before we’d had a long talk and the last words he’d said before I went to bed were “Yes, I do want to work things out.” Heh.
Yeah, I gotta agree that you’re a better man than me if you were able to hold back and not totally kick the crap out of them. There would’ve been blood everywhere if that happened to me. :mad:
Moved into an apartment and met a gal that lived there too. Soon she was spending more time at my place than hers and most of her clothes were there. Decided as a way to save some money, she would move in. I come home from work on the last day of the month thinking she was going to move in the next day. Wrong. Everything she had in my apartment was gone and her apartment was empty. And nobody knew where she was except her sister and she wasn’t talking. She had said nothing but an ex boyfriend showed up a few days earlier and she decided to move to Oregon with him. I found out a week later when her sister called and told me. I don’t think I have ever felt an empty feeling like that before or since.
I saw her about 10 years later and she admitted she made a mistake and wondered if I was available. I told her even if I was (I wasn’t at the time) there was no way I would ever be involved with her again.
I’ve been dumped in the usual ways (“I’m going back to school in New York”, “old boyfriend came back”, “sorry, I’m gay”, etc.), but one of the worst I’ve heard of happened to an ex of mine:
Her boyfriend came over to her place. They had sex. Immediately afterwards, while they’re still in bed, he says “I’m breaking up with you. I just wanted to have sex with you one last time.”
Did the guy leave with his penis still attached? :eek:
I got dumped during a long distance relationship by the not-calling/not-writing method. I was doing all of the work in communication, and finally, a month before Thanksgiving he says that he’s not coming back to our hometown for it, he’s going to stay there and have it with his roommate’s family. I wrote him a “Dear John” letter because I had no idea when I’d see him in person to do it. Months later I get a letter basically saying “I didn’t mean to hurt you”, etc.
A couple years later, I get back in contact with him to try to mend fences. He tells me he discovered after that time that he’d been heavily repressing - due to Catholic upbringing and living in a conservative town - that he was gay, and that he either didn’t know or couldn’t admit it to himself before then. He apologized sincerely, and we made up. It doesn’t change the fact that I was very hurt at the time, but I can understand him having conflicted feelings, and forgave him for using the “ignore her to make her break up with me” method - at the time he probably did think it was for the best.
I will now recount the most horrible and shaming experience of my life.
I was 17. I thought I was in love. I was dating this guy for months, and I lost nearly everything to him. My identity, my virginity, my self-respect, and very nearly my life. He came by my work one night and said we had to talk. He gave me all the standard crap: “it’s not you, it’s me, I’m not ready for commitment right now, I need something else in my life, we’re too different, blah, blah, blah.” Then he asked me if I would still want to have sex with him, since he was still attracted to me but didn’t want to be in a relationship.
And I agreed. My self-esteem at that point in life was so non-existence I would happily have sawed off all my fingers just for someone to smile at me.
Then I found out he was sleeping with two other people. I broke it off immediately, and went straight to my doctor to get tested. I came out clear, but I sent him a copy of the results. Two days later, he saw my mother at a stop light in town, threatened her and followed her back home. He tried to break in the house screaming that I had “ruined him” and threatened to kill both of us. We called the police, he went to jail.
I went to therapy. Last I heard, he’s doing life for murder comitted during the course of a robbery.
I had a boyfriend right after high school who was head-over-heels in love with me, to the point that he kept pressuring me to get married right away rather than waiting for at least a year. He also wanted us to move to Colorado, but he hadn’t convinced me to do that yet. He went to Denver for business and the trip kept getting extended. After a month, he came back and showed me that he had a Colorado license plate on his motorcycle. When I said, “But I haven’t said I’d move to Colorado!” he replied, “I know. I don’t want you to.”
Later, there was a guy I was just dating casually; after we’d gone out five or six times, he told me he didn’t want to see me anymore because he’d decided not to break up with his fiancee. Now, that one didn’t really hurt because we weren’t seeing each other seriously, but had I known there even was a fiancee, we wouldn’t have been dating at all.
Vorae, DarkPrince, thanks. Rage was definately part of my complete breakfast for the next few months, but the karma did come back. I won’t get into too much detail, but something horribly and poetically karmic happened to said S/O on Christmass last year, and I ended up leaving the party we were both at and laughing my -ass- off the entire drive home.
I’ve had a similar experience to this; in bed about 4:00am, smoking and have a chat and then suddenly “I can’t do this anymore” followed by “some people just shouldn’t be in a relationship” (meaning her, not me).
What was wierd is going into the “relationship” I knew this would happen but it still took some getting over. I really liked her.
To hijack this thread just a little bit…bitterness towards ex’s seems to run high in most of these threads. Is this in only the cases where your ex broke up with you in a horrible way (a la isthatsowrong?) or is this the feeling across the board no matter how the bad news was presented?
Guy 1: Started talking a lot about my best friend. I don’t think I need to say any more.
Guy 2: Told me he’d “get back to me” on my invitation to the sophomore banquet. Again, I don’t think I need to say any more.
Guy 3: Telephoned me one night to say he just wanted to be friends.
Guy 4: Flirted madly with me via various online means for months, and then was never heard from again.
I appreciate Guy 3’s honesty the more I think about it.
I had a gal dump me once. We were living together and she went to Wisconsin to be with her “mother” for a few months. 2 months after she came back she found out she was pregnant. I had to go out of town for a month on a job and when I got back she was gone. No note, nothing. Bitch even took my waterbed!! I was devistated because she was the first woman I loved enough to live with.
My first husband takes the cake tho. I had a miscarriage and went to my mothers for a couple weeks to recouperate. After a WEEK I called to talk to him and a woman answered the phone.
her “hello?”
me “who is this?”
her “Nancy” (my “best friend”)
me “what are you doing answering the phone?”
her “well I live here so it’s my phone too”
me…
her “who is this?”
me “Johns WIFE”
her “oh… hold on”
him “hello?”
me cussing him out and demanding a divorce…
In most of the relationships I’ve been in, I’ve been the dumper rather than the dumpee. Which, by the way, isn’t much fun, either.
But I’ve had a couple of pretty miserable getting ditched experiences. Here’s one of them.
I was involved in a long-distance relationship for a while with a guy who lived a few states over. We had gotten into the habit of talking every day and visiting each other on the weekends.
After several months of this, I’d come to feel at least somewhat close to this person (duh.) While I was dating him, I had decided to apply to grad school, which was proving to be a pretty stressful experience. I was having problems with the graduate admissions people and mentioned them during one of our phone calls. He suddenly told me that he had other things to do and that he had to go. Click.
I never heard from him again. He didn’t respond to any of my messages, never called me back, never e-mailed, nothing.
Apparently, being with me was fun enough as long as everything was going well. I could listen to him complain about the relationship he’d had with his ex-wife, his insane grad program, his crappy teaching days, etc., but the minute I had a problem, it was too much to handle. Cretin.
