I’ve had this conversation before and it definitely worked out for me. The guy in question liked me as much as I liked him. So go for it. Seriously. It’s scary but no matter how it turns out at least you’ll know for certain where you stand. I’m not unsympathic because telling my friend how I felt about him was one of the most frightening moments of my life. To be honest, I only got the words half way out of my mouth when he took pity on me and told me “back at you.” In the interest of full disclosure we aren’t together anymore–we married young, grew up, grew apart and as a result went through a fairly amicable divorce–but I still consider him the love of my life. While I’m happy now being single I can honestly say I don’t regret a single moment I spent with him. Because of him I’ll recognize the real thing if/when it happens again.
Try this:
During the recption, ask her for a slow dance to a really romantic song. Pull her very close, like the world will fall apart if you let go. Bow your head down to where you are breathing on the part of her neck just below her ear or where her neck meets the shoulder. Whisper to her: “I think it’s time we take our friendship to the next level. I realize I haven’t been forthcoming with you about how I feel, but the romance of today has made me realize just how crazy I am for you and how I can’t wait another day to tell you.” Then pull back just enough to look her in the eyes and say this: “I want it to be just you and me.” Wait for her reaction. If she doesn’t tell you she wants to be only friends, gently take your hands and cup the back of her head right behind her ears and give her the kiss of your life. But be gentle and loving, forceful will kill it - and it’s avery thin line. If she feels the same for you, she will melt. But you have to be serious, no joking, no laughing.
Take this prime opportunity to do this. Don’t worry about it being inappropriate, she used to date the groom and if the bride is okay with her being there, it is certainly okay for you to take this golden opportunity. You will feel better once you know where you stand. I think she feels the same for you from what you describe. She’s being just as shy about it as you are. She probably values your friendship in the same way but is also scared. If you don’t do this, you will regret it down the road.
“It is better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all.”
GO FOR IT!!! And please give us updates!!! 
That sounds very romantic and lovely. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you blurt something out like “Me want date. Ugh.”, though. Women are very forgiving if we’re into the guy. We actually find it endearing.
Hey ! I’ll practice my caveman lines ! :eek:
After reading - my vote is go for it man!!! I agree, she wouldn’t still be here making the types of comments she’s making if she wasn’t interested. You need to go for it! I agree - the wedding could be a wonderful way to do it - as long as it doesn’t feel forced, and you make it clear (no more mixed signals!).
As for what the buddy said - my vote is no way would she be making cracks about the two of you getting married as a mixed signal. That seems kind of deliberate. And there are some women who really just don’t realize that being too nice will sometimes land them in an uncomfortable situation (been there, done that, finally learned).
And if it gives you hope, I’ve been married almost a year to my best friend. We did lots of flirting, jokes along the way.
You need to give it a shot at least!
LIFE IS TOO F***ING SHORT. Get on with it.
Anyone lives near Wasson ? I would really enjoy his getting a slap on his head if he doesn’t make his move on saturday… I think some doper should stalk him into doing it. 
Rooting for you guy…
Think of how you’ll feel when she meets another guy because she sat around and waited 6 months for you. She could meet a new person at any moment, make YOUR MOVE NOW!
Things are either going to get better or worse. If you want to take this to the next level, that’s a risk you’ll have to take. Nothing ventured nothing gained my boy.
Good luck! 
Dude, man, you have to. Really. Don’t sit on this any longer. Saturday’s the day.
And come back with details Monday.
Yeah…that doesn’t mean they want you making out in the middle of their reception like it’s the eight grade hallway. Why not just interrupt the Best Man speach to express your love for Christ’s sake? Show some freakin’ class!
Well, that’s always possible. There are just some girls who give off a Something About Mary vibe because they are pretty, flirty and nice. I think most guys tend to expect a kind of general alofness from pretty girls as a kind of defense against every nebbish she says “boo” thinking “YEA!!! SHE LIKES ME!!”
Ok, A lot of people have given you some advice here and I’m sure that works great for them. Here’s what you want to do:
- Take her out to a NICE dinner. Like a good steakhouse or expensive Japanese or whatever you both like. Don’t forget to shave put on a nice outfit and all. Oh and YOU pay for EVERYTHING.
-Go back to your place.
-Get a nice bottle of wine or vodka or martini mix or whatever it is you kids drink. NOT a six pack of beer.
-Now here’s where you have to play it by ear a bit. You basically want to create an intimate mood where you two can hang out, drink, talk and (for me, I usually just throw on the TV and make out during the commericals, but this might not work for everyone) then what the moment’s right…
-…BOOYA!!! (I think you can figure out what this means).
See, I don’t think it makes sense for you to share your feelings or whatever with her. Basically, just start hooking up regularly. Eventually, she will ask you where it’s going. Then you can suggest being exclusive.
Alternately you can take her for a drive and “stop short”. Her answer will be revealed in her reaction! 
No one said anything about “making out”. It’s perfectly normal to kiss someone you love at a wedding. If there were people who kissed their SO’s at my wedding, I sure as hell didn’t care. It’s a ROMANTIC atmosphere, romance happens. A lot of people meet other single people and hook up at weddings. In fact, if my wedding inspired romance in other people, I would be pleased.
You can kiss someone virtually anywhere, if people have a problem with it, it simply is THEIR problem. Now if it looks like you need to get a room, then you might be taking it a little too far. But kissing someone romantically (not the I want you NOW kiss), is nothing you need to worry about.
You see, IMO, that is classless. That is a sure-fire way to anger the bride. She has dreamt about this day for years, planned it since she was a child . . . the last thing you want to do is take away that day from her. It is their day and you don’t want to turn the spotlight on you and your issues. Especially during a pre-written speech about other people. You will make your love interest very uncomfortable - even if she DOES feel the same way. I would not do that and personally would not want that done to me.
If you don’t want to do this in front of anyone, more power to you and quite understandable. But as a woman, weddings (especially of friends around the same age) can make you think about serious relationships, being in love, and getting married. Weddings were very magical for my DH and I, in fact we got engaged after we left my best friend’s wedding. So trust me, as long as you don’t steal their big day from them, you’ll be fine. Act quick, she could meet someone else - even AT the wedding.
How are you still single?
Uh…yes that’s the point. It’s sarcasm. ALL of that stuff basically distracts from the bride and groom on their special day.
And seeing this is a friend the OP is attempting to start a deeper relationship with, it might be a bit much to spring it on her at a public event like a weding. Or if you want to make your move at the weding do it in a manner that won’t put her on the spot in front of 50 guests.
Who said I was single?
I thought you were dating, but not married. Hmm, could I possibly have been wrong about the marital status of a complete stranger who lives in a different country?
Well, from the last response you gave (making out during commercials? don’t want to interrupt your TV watching I guess), it’s pretty difficult to distinguish where you were being sarcastic. Maybe a smilie would help next time.
Forgive me here if I’m wrong, but aren’t you a guy? I don’t think you completely understand how women work. They WANT someone to sweep them off their feet. I don’t think I’ve ever been to a wedding where another couple slow-dancing was the center of attention, unless a special song was picked out for them. I never said steal away any of the “special” dances from the bride and groom to do this business, there will be time after that.
Look, there’s this movie coming out soon with Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson, it’s about hooking up with girls at weddings. If it wasn’t a well-known fact that this happens, there wouldn’t have been a movie based solely on that fact.
There is nothing wrong with creating a little romance in an already romantic atmosphere. As someone who’s HAD her own wedding, this won’t cause any problems. Like I said earlier, this girl used to date the GROOM. If the bride is okay with her being there at the wedding, she will be more than pleased that she hooked up with someone else. Let alone care that two of her friends (or fiance’s friends) decided to make their relationship official.
At my wedding, we had to invite one of my DH’s old (years ago) “f*ck buddies” because he was close to the entire family and her sister was one of my matrons-of-honor. It was a well-known fact that this girl has been obsessed with him for 15+ years and made no qualms about letting that fact be known. I would have been thrilled if she had found someone else to divert her attention, but she didn’t cause any waves at the wedding luckily. If she had, there was a nice dark alley behind the reception . . . 
[QUOTE=PinkMarabou]
Well, from the last response you gave (making out during commercials? don’t want to interrupt your TV watching I guess), it’s pretty difficult to distinguish where you were being sarcastic. Maybe a smilie would help next time.
[QUOTE]
Idonno. I think I do have a pretty good idea of how women work and I have to think most brides might get a little pissed off at a couple kissing on the dance floor. I don’t consider that “romantic”. That’s something I would do on the dance floor with a girl I just met in a bar. I say wait until after dinner is served when every goes back to drinking and dancing. Take a nice romantic little walk to someplace quiet and then make your move.
[QUOTE=PinkMarabou]
Look, there’s this movie coming out soon with Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson, it’s about hooking up with girls at weddings. If it wasn’t a well-known fact that this happens, there wouldn’t have been a movie based solely on that fact.
[QUOTE]
My life is basically a Vince Vaughn movie.
Hey, you crazy kids. I’m drunk, so I’m gonna make this fast. I “did it on Saturday”, as it was. My lady accepted my date invite. I’m going to take her out to a nice dinner and… something else that we haven’t decided yet. It went well, despite a smallspeedbump that I’ll type more aout when I’m more sober.
Just wanted to say it went well. Thank for the encourangement, everyone.
I’m glad to hear it went well. Let us know how the date goes!
WOO! wasson and … a girl he likes, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g!