Yay! Robot Arm joins the shut-ins’ group hug. 
This right here. It’s like baseball, even the good players don’t get hits or home runs all the time. Keep stepping up to bat and getting that practice in.
I looked it up in my big book of word usements.
I think when someone says that, guy or girl, it doesn’t really signal someone really is interested in spending more time with you. It comes across as polite though. What would be more welcome would be, “Hey, would you like to go see a movie this Friday night?” or whatever the event. This way you put a plan in motion and given it thought that you want to spend time with him.
The other thing to consider is that there might be something going on in his life right now that has nothing to do with you or romance at all.
I would contact him again, and don’t mention you were expecting to hear from him. Just call with a plan for something to do. It could be anything you would like your next spouse to be involved with doing. Say you need to go shopping for winter gloves and you would like his company or it could be dinner. Before someone says, don’t mention shopping cause guys hate shopping. Well, if the guy hates going shopping with you then he isn’t the right one for you.
Summary: Contact him inviting him to do something. If he isn’t interested then move on.
Great idea! Just be sure it’s someplace you’re happy to be regardless.
If you don’t have a favorite haunt, I highly recommend you start checking out local venues that have the kind of music you like, and ideally even food or whatever, and go there now and then just to have a place where you’ll be recognized and appreciated as one of the crowd. This is REALLY easy to do at any small venue that has blues or jazz, and folks in our age group are plentiful and easy-going.
It’s fun and you can meet people and then you’ll have a great place to txt from next time a situation like this arises. Plus the musicians appreciate it when people come hear them play, and venue owners, bartenders, and waitresses all appreciate a regular, especially one who’s friendly and tips well.
My last first date was just before you were born, but I agree. If god forbid I landed back in the dating game I’d be very likely to end a mid-day date with a hug, or if that’s how it ended, I wouldn’t assume anything.
Right, and don’t be too surprised if you DO hear from him again.
Don’t feel crappy, feel good! Step in the right direction. The guy wouldn’t have spent 2 1/2 hrs with you if he was totally not into you. But he may have conflicts, or he may be waiting to see if something else pans out (yeah, not best scenario but not worst either). Regardless, if you had a good time with someone who seemed to be having a good time, that’s a GOOD THING. Take it as a reward, not a punishment: it should encourage you to try again.
BTW, there are a lot of really nice idiots in the world. I’m sure I’ve been one, just blindly not thinking that gee, one should call the next day. Yet, I’m an OK guy, or at least, my wife thinks so.
When someone says what? I see nothing wrong with leaving the first date without making plans right away. The more we build detailed expectations of what another person does or what they might mean by it, the more we close ourselves off from good opportunities. People don’t all fit in the cookie cutter molds.
You da man.
You do sound fine. Maybe you could look at it like a learning experience - every date gets you closer to meeting a compatible guy (I hate to call him The One, because I don’t believe there is only one person for each person).
I wouldn’t do that, but that could be my particular leaning - once I’ve contacted you, the ball is in your court, and if you don’t contact me, I’ll assume you don’t want to contact me and I’ll move on with my life.
I know we’ve all been there Scribbles - one sided dates where it seems that it’s great only to find out after the fact that it wasn’t. It never stops hurting.
A few years ago I tried EHarmony - for the most part I met good dates; nobody that I really clicked with but that’s a story for another day. I remember meeting one girl and thinking it was just an amazing date, and she said so as well while we were on the date. While we were planning a second date she suggested a place where we could do some paintings. I suggested we paint each other (in my mind I was thinking portraits because we were drinking wine and I wasn’t on top of what my mouth was saying). She interpreted it as saying I wanted to paint on her naked and that pretty much ended the date right there. Oops. First dates are very hard - with better knowledge of who a person is it’s easier to know who they are, but attraction from somebody who we just met is a powerful thing.
It only takes one match in the end… I’ve not found it yet either so we have some solidarity there, but it doesn’t mean that one person who we don’t jive with means we give up altogether.
I admit I came to see if he’d called.
I would have done the same if you had interviewed for a new job.
At least you had the first date. I haven’t been on a ‘date’ in I don’t know how long.
I would suggest that you do not contact him. I have had guys in the past not call me for several weeks after a first date. It is too early in the game to assume it is over with him. Patience is key. Please do not contact him now, as it is best to let him contact you first. Playing hard to get is not a bad thing. Perhaps if you don’t hear from him for a month or so you could send him a friendly text, and then leave the ball in his court.
I like some of the advice in this thread. Soon, I too will have to learn how to date again. I’m not looking forward to it.
Well, I went on two more first dates yesterday - one afternoon coffee, and one late night snack. The results:
First guy: Ugh!
Second guy: Meh.
“Meh” might not really be what he’s really like, though. He’d had a horrible day and told me towards the end of our date that he had a pounding headache. I’m not sure anyone can be a riveting conversationalist under those conditions, and I give him a lot of credit for not canceling on me. I’d be willing to try another get - together with him.
It’s like falling off a bicycle. 
Leaffan - You’re a guy. As astro pointed out, you’re going to be like a kid in a candy store. Don’t worry about it.
I find that odd. I had heard that there are, I dunno, like 100 men for every woman on on-line dating sites. God, I don’t even want to go to on-line dating sites. I’ve been avoiding all of this for almost a year now.
{{covers ears}} La la la la la…
I think that’s pretty good advice. I’d wait a month before writing him off. You never know if maybe something came up- family crisis, work demands, whatever. Keep the chin up.
One of the weird things about dating sites is that it is real easy to become a serial dater. This happened to me, it kind of numbs you out from making a real connection and we find ourselves more into the hooking of a new one. I had lots of real good dates when I was on one of these but seldom had any desire for a second date. I have no idea why.
It depends on the guy, I suppose. I’ve certainly heard that the hard-to-get approach works on some, but I’d prefer that someone show a little effort at communicating and getting together. (Not all of it, but at least some.)
As a guy, that has not been my experience.
Log onto a dating site and flip your search parameters to a women looking for men, and look at the guys. Assuming we’re talking about 40-50 somethings if you are in good shape, non-hideous, can write a decent and amusing profile and have a decent sense of humor you are leagues ahead of the game.
Good photos are critical. Despite all the blah, blah, blah about physical attractiveness not being so important when you are older women in their 40’s and 50’s are the same as girls in high school, they will give you one quick look then move on. If you expect to make the cut you had best have your A game up. And if you do you will be covered up with interest.
^Good advice. I’ll try to remember this when I finally do jump in the pool.