There’s a race of telepathic hyperadvanced space aliens who’s greatest pleasure is human disappointment and suffering. As their advanced technology makes them superlong lived, most of them greatly miss the horrors of the King Leopold’s Congo and want to recreate something similar in Canada. Why Canada? Well, by Earth standards, Canadians are happy and fulfilled, and taking that away from them would be oh-so-delicious to the aliens.
Well, these intergalactic horrors have just materialised in your room right now, freezing everyone else in time. Their culture prohibits interfering with a planet without the informed consent from one randomly selected resident; which in this case, is you.
What is the minimum you’d accept for your consent? Remember, they are telepathic so lying to them will be ineffective. Time is frozen whilst you consider the offer, and thus you cannot ask others.
If you refuse, they’ll just disappear from the planet, leaving you nothing but a pile of maple-leaf flags.
BTW: If you are Canadian, they automatically teleport you and 80 of your loved ones to a country of your choice if you accept, over and above the minimum price you request…
You and the aliens are assuming Canada is worth something. Make it Zaire, or Brazil if you’re talking mineral value.
On the other hand, if we’re talking intellectual value - no known number of aliens could afford how much Canada is worth, so it’s pointless to discuss it.
They obey your request, they immediately teleport back to their FTL starship disappointed that they’ll have to spend a bit more of their immortal life searching for a similarly developed planet willing to agree to a similar request.
They are a long post-scarcity intergalactic civilisation, all the mineral wealth of Brazil is but dust to them.
Human disappointment and suffering is all we can offer to them.
Well, given that the Canadian dollar is about on par with the US dollar these days, and has been so for some time, the economy is probably pretty safe.
Speaking an American, Canada is not for sale from me at any price. It is literally priceless so you can’t buy it for any amount of money. It is not worth screwing up the most stable border in the world only to have a bunch aliens move in and cause god only knows what kind of ruckus.
You may be interested in other North American properties though. You are lucky because Mexico is on special this week. It is $250 and I take personal checks.
Well, selling out Canada on that scale would probably make the USA suffer, and you say they’re post-scarcity. They want to buy my approval for screwing over the Canucks, I’m going to grind them for it. See how much they can give me.
I’m thinking my own star system for a floor to any deal.
Never mind the fact that Canada is a G-8 economy. Give me enough money in deposits to live off interest ($50,000 a month will do.) And give me all these gals (a list will be provided) all further enhanced and willing to bed me on command.
