You know, your friend should consider getting his/her own computer. Honestly, internet dating is becoming increasingly mainstream - if your friend were online, he might be able to meet more people. And beyond that - being a twenty-year-old college student with no computer skills is just plain strange. Your friend should work on that.
More seriously, now - your friend doesn’t need to worry about this. I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but twenty is still very young. There’s plenty of time - if and when he’s in a relationship where sex makes sense, that can happen then. In the meantime - and really, for the rest of his life - the thing to focus on isn’t getting laid. It’s being a good, capable, and interesting person. If you do that, all sorts of good things will happen eventually - yes, including sex.
Depends on the person. Some people don’t want to have sex, in which case no age is too old, in spite of social pressure to the contrary. Some people don’t want sex till they’re married, so it’ll depend on when they find the person they want to marry.
For a person who wants to have sex and isn’t constrained by some other factor, I’d hope they’d have the opportunity by…30? If not, they might want to think about changing their tactics. And even if it’s not till after 30 (or 40, or whenever), well…it takes all types.
Depends on the person. I was a 29yo virgin, was not a 30yo virgin, neither one killed me (I wanted to have sex, but it had to be a threesome including Lt. Condom - no condom, no sex, and having the guy refuse to wear one just brought me out of the mood completely, so by the time they realized I was serious and wanted to go buy one, I was saying “forget it, dude”). My cousin, also female, did it for the first time at 15 on a sort of dare, disliked the experience intensely (“I hope it’s true what they say that it gets better with time, cos boy that sucked”) and did it for the second time at 25. We’re both the same age and grew up with teen mags yelling that “girls are doing it before 16!!!” as if it was some sort of social obligation (hence why the dare, she was to do it before 16) - now the same mags are yelling that “girls are doing it at 13!!!”…
PSXer… I like the way you are responding to this thread. I may actually be tempted to think you are starting to become “cool.” (or maybe it is just your friend)
Sometimes I wonder if we’d be better off without the word “virgin.” After all, most men no longer require physical proof that no one else has broken the seal on their bride’s packaging. Is there really some fundamental, mystical difference between someone who’s had sex and someone who hasn’t?
Well, apparently that the word itself, when held by a female, is great for scaring dudes away while attracting others (mind you, I always found this second subset extremely skeevy). A magic word indeed.
50 is too old. I was 26, partly because my parents were very strict, I was not considered attractive at all, and I most definitely did not want to be unwed and pregnant.
Honestly, I don’t think there is a set age. The time to lose it is when you feel ready and you meet the right person.
It would be stupid to lose your virginity because of a worry about what others think about you being a virgin only to wind up with an unplanned pregnancy or STD (two things that are arguably more stigmatized in society than just being a virgin is).
There is no age that is too old, in the sense that there is no legal or medical reason to lose your virginity before a certain age.
I myself lost my virginity much, much later than most men: I was over 30. I won’t get into the reasons why, except to say that there were many circumstances behind that fact.
I’m now 48, and have had plenty of sex since losing my virginity, and in fact I’ve now been happily married for almost four years. So I would say that my late sexual start hasn’t affected my sex life at all – except that it obviously started later than most.
The problem is that putting a definitive age on it requires you make a lot of assumptions regarding values and priorities, specifically how high one values sex versus other aspects of their life.
