If you don’t want to have sex and you haven’t had it by the age of 30, I think there’s a strong chance that you are asexual (which has nothing to do with how good a friend you are, or whether or not you want a romantic relationship). Asexuality is not necessarily a good or bad thing, nor is it shameful or disgusting. It just is. Just like homosexuality just is. Most people who are asexual are perfectly fine with it…or least, once they get away from all their sex-hungry peers–become perfectly fine with it.
If you want to have sex and haven’t been able to obtain it by 25 (or get mighty close to it), then I imagine yours would be an frustrating existence. So I could see this being a bad thing. But again, nothing that would signify that a person is sick, shameful, or a loser.
IMHO, it’s about what the individual wants and what they’re ready for, not some arbitrary standard set by the “cool” kids who all got their cherries popped in middle school and think that’s perfectly normal.
Only that it seems to be a bigger issue for those that haven’t had it compared to those tha have. Really, 20 years after losing it, it really isn’t that big a deal.
Society today - at least internet society - is mostly concerned with male virgins. That Steve Carell flick wouldn’t have been made with Tina Fey.
The word virgin implies youth and femininity. We have a need to infantilize and feminize men who don’t make the sexual rite of passage, so the word is useful.
I was confident, reasonably attractive, dated quite a bit, and was a virgin (by choice) well into my 20’s. Part of it (ok most of it) was my religious upbringing. But I wasn’t repressed nor was anything “wrong” and I don’t regret waiting that long. It’s different for every person and there is no age that’s “too old.”
It depends on the reasons, I suppose. And what you plan to do with the relationship. If you just haven’t had sex because you haven’t had the opportunity (say, you live in a country where you had no chance, or some similar reason) that’s one thing. If you haven’t had sex because you want it to be beautiful and special and wonderful, I find that rather putting it on a pedestal and that would make me shy away from you.
If you haven’t had it for religious reasons you will see my dust as I run out of there as fast as I possibly can.
Exactly. You don’t want to end up like these weirdos.
There may not be legal or medical reasons, but there are strong social reasons.
With the Internet, I imagine that it’s pretty easy these days for kids to end up as 30 year old virgins. I remember seeing kids in college (like 20 years ago) who spent all their time locked in their rooms playing on the computer. And that was before Everquest and WoW and even the Internet as we know it. Back then, sheer boredom would force even the most withdrawn kid out of his room every once and awhile. These days, they can spend weeks holed up in their own little world. And time online is time not spent out socializing, meeting (real) people and possibly getting laid.
What?! Oh, come on now, I don’t believe the second part for a second! Sure, some guys may be scared off by the word. But others attracted?! You’re saying there’s some kind of “virgin fetish” out there?
You’ve got to be kidding right?
Oh, uh, Nava, BTW, would any of your other female friends still be virgins? Is there… uh… any chance you could help me connect with them? Pretty please?
– Oh! I mean, is there any chance you could help make the connections with this, uh… friend of mine??
Au contraire madame. If you’re male, it’s everybody’s business. They ought to put it on the fucking Myers-Briggs Personality Inventory. It ought to cost a man $20,000 in annual salary or 20 IQ points, whichever is the more traumatic.
It’s undermining the very foundation of American masculinity, goddammit. Right along with the lack of universal basic training.
