You shoulda just called her up and said: Hi, honey? [crumple tin foil over the receiver] Oh it…[crackle]…sounds like…[crackle]…we’re breaking up. [heavy crumpling now]. Must be the distance!
Then hang up.
Well done Auto! You did the right thing.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with breaking up with a girl you’ve decided you don’t want to be with anymore. That’s what dating is, test driving relationships with various people so that you can figure out whose right for you. It doesn’t matter if she’s Mother Teresa. If something doesn’t feel right, then you have every reason, and right, to end it.
You realized how you were feeling and you broke it off as cleanly as you could. That’s fair.
Congratulating you seems misplaced, so I’ll just say good luck to both of you as you deal with the end of a relationship between two decent people.
But if it’s okay by you, can we add a
SMERR RIKE BACON!
to this thread?
lol! I didn’t think anyone would remember that.
I appreciate that 
I appreciate all the responses here, although I will pit one in due time. I’m too tired to do it now though.
Thank you everyone for your help, humor, and kindness. Y’all are good people.
There’s a person of my aquaintence many people aren’t very fond of, that my co-worker, Art Student, does a dead-on impersonation of her husband:
“…by the way, if you see my wife, tell her I died.” slow Buddha smile “…it’s a surprise.”
Anyway, Auto, good on you for ending it. She will get over it, and you’ve freed her up to find somebody who will return those sweet feelings she has to give. You can’t love everybody in the world to the extent they all deserve and/or want you to. I know. I’ve tried. Can’t be done without hurt feelings. 
I’ve been on the receiving end of the ultimate sting, a couple of times. It gets better, people move on, grow older, wiser, and meet people who fit them just right. And you know, a lot of times, it’s not love at all, even though she might feel strongly that it is - it’s closer to obsession. She’s built you up to be someone else in her mind, and you can’t pretend you are that person - for everyone’s sanity’s sake.
You did just fine.
I don’t mean to be a wet blanket, but for anyone in a future situation like this, dating someone from another culture can be vastly trickier than it’s made out to be here. People in other societies may have vastly different expectations of what dating means, and when their mistaken impression is exposed it can hurt feelings a LOT more than what you’d encounter in American society.
In Auto’s case things don’t sound so complex, but imagine if the girl had introduce him to her parents, and they were amenable to the relationship: it could very well be that he had thereby built an unspoken but very strong impression that they were going to be married. And when he dumped her, it would be a massive loss of face where she’d have to explain to her friends and family what happened. And they’d be passing judgment.
A situation like that could indeed lead to stalking behavior, feigned or real suicide attempts, or other behavior we’d consider bizarre. It’s not even about “love” so much as fighting back against perceived humiliation. IME, people in this part of the world interpret rejection in intensely personal terms and have a hard time dealing with it.
Anyway, my two yuan.
Bonus points if you’re both on cell phones.
Double bonus points if you do it face to face.
Extra if you never used phones to begin with.
And triple points if you do it while licking her neck.
That would just be weird.
I’m sorry I didn’t have the chance to give you the following advice:
Call her up one day and say “I’m sorry, sweetie, I can’t be with you anymore. It’s just not working out, and I’m really horrified that your vagina smerr rike bacon. Goodbye.”
If you ever need a drinking buddy or a shoulder to cry on, you know that me and Acid Lamp aren’t too far away.
If you have her phone number stored in your phone remove it now or you will be drunk dialing at some point
Well?
Did you call her while drunk? :dubious: (meant to be the evil eye). If you called her when you were a bit “on the go” I will come through your CD drive and bitch slap you into next week. Understand?
Ok, then. Now I can be supportive and sympathetic.
Stay busy; vent here; call some of these men who are actual men and not trogdolytes with er, “swinging dicks” (and there’s a visual I could have done without) and get some support from them.
Do NOT pick up that phone or send that email. I am watching you, buddy. Ah–Oh, no you don’t! Go change the oil in your car or clean the toilet, now. Either one of those take long enough where the urge shall pass. Trust me on this.
I had a beer before I called her, but I wasn’t drunk. I haven’t drunk-dialed or drunk-emailed (surpringly really).
She e-mailed me yesterday with a simple “how was your day?” but I ignored it. Maybe someday we can be friends again, but this isn’t that time yet.
Now, what’s going on with this new girl… that’s a whole new set of drama. She admitted to me tonight that she has feelings for me, big ones, but she wants to try to patch things up with her boyfriend.
So, I guess I’m ‘batter on deck.’ In the last week we’ve talked for like 40+ hours on the phone and MSN, and today we went out for karaoke and had a great time. Afterwards, I took her to a romantic lake spot. It’s in a weird spot of my town… it’s dark and undergoing construction. It’s beautiful but kinda creepy really. She followed me for quite a while, even though she was scared. Once we got to the dock she got scared and angry and went back home. After that we talked on the phone for 4 hours and she said that she wanted to continue but… well she wants to fix things up with her BF but she’s just not sure really.
I’m being foolish. I’m fine with the fact that I’m probably just going to get hurt even more. I’m not the type of guy to be smart in love I guess.
I’m probably sharing way too much, but I figure since I have your attention I might as well milk it
I’m confused. Why did she get angry? And what did she want to continue? The time on the dock, or with you in general?
She wanted to continue the relationship with me.
As for why she got angry at the dock, I have no real idea, but I think it was mostly anger at herself for allowing herself into such a situation. She feels like she must be totally proper with her current BF, even if that means denying her true feelings.
That’s just my complete WAG.
You called your ex? Oy. :smack: (that is my hand, slapping your head) No more, kay?
And you don’t have a huge “danger, Will Robinson!” coming out of this new chick?
:dubious: and :dubious: again.
She’s into you because you’re easy–not in that way–you’re not Him, the one who gives her a headache and brings up past shit and leaves his dirty socks on the floor etc. She’s not into You, Autolycus-how can she be? She doesn’t know you. You’re a self-esteem hit for someone who is afraid to be alone. And you might be wanting to put off those bad feelings re Chinese girl and so are dallying with this one…
You’re not going to take this advice, but Run, or at least walk away, now.
Auntie Eleanor will now shut up.
Auntie Eleanor gives good advice.
If you don’t listen about New Girl (or still go for it even though it sounds like you’re aware of the problems), listen about never, ever calling Ex Girl ever again.