There will be harm done to me, because I find it annoying when people always say they’re engaged when they clearly aren’t really. (Of course I understand an engagement being broken off occasionally, but some people have several “ex-fiances”. Those people should shut up.)
A few months ago, I was considering registering as a domestic partner with my opposite-sex live-in partner.
Be glad that didn’t happen. Telling 90% of people you’re going to do that makes them angry because “That’s for gays!”.
Nevermind.
That reminds me of a quote I read about Steve Earle - he’s been married seven times because he’s not afraid to commit. 
There’s no rule, but my standard would be that if you know why your previous relationships didn’t work and you’ve accounted for that and any growth you need to do to be better at them, then you get serious about someone new.
I think when people float from relationship to relationship, they tend to have the same one over and over again.
Books like How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk and Intellectual Foreplay can give you some questions to ask each other and yourselves to see if you’re really suited or just horny or infatuated.
So, in the last 2 or so years, you’ve had THREE very serious relationships? I have some trouble there— you were married, then you met a woman you considered getting common law married with (basically), and now, a few weeks later, you’re ready to marry this next girl?
I guess I never realized the harm that breaking off an engagement does to uninterested parties. 
Sorry, I sort of know what you mean. Some people around here tend to claim they are married when they’re not. I don’t even know why. It’s like they get some kick from calling each other ‘husband’ and ‘wife’. But then a few months later they’re married to someone else. I do find that annoying.
I think for me, being a couple means you have some concept that it would last forever, but always tempered with the notion that it might not. Got me through 33 years of marriage so far.
I don’t think I understand what the point of this is–to me, an engagement means “we are seriously involved in planning the wedding–there’s a date and planning is in the works.” What on earth is the point of being engaged for several YEARS?
The marriage wasn’t serious at any point within the last two years. It was dead 3 years ago, I just let her live with me for an additional year and some months so she could finish college.
The difference between the second and third girls is that the third one is intelligent, has similar interests, and gets me.
This is the first time I’ve been in love.
I didn’t even know what the feeling and experience I’m going through EXISTED until a few weeks ago.
Then why are you in a rush to completely alter that relationship?
18 months. Anyone can be on their best behaviour for 12 months.
Six months, but barely, and I am assuming a two years minimum before the actual marriage.
What Blackberry said.
Also what appolonia said.
The business of being “engaged” for ten years, and three kids. That’s not an engagement! That’s called “shacking up.”
~VOW
I can’t understand why a man would be so eager to rush into marriage. Usually the strategy is to put that off as long as possible while she tries to pressure you into it. 
What benefit do you think marriage is going to bring you that you aren’t getting now?
Count me as “I’m not sure why you’d want to do this.”
How would your relationship change if you are engaged? What do you hope to achieve?
Give it at least six months. If anything, do it out of respect for her. She just met you, and she is also infatuated. Give her the gift of experiencing that infatuation and that giddy in love feeling without all the pressure and constriction of an engagement. And let her learn enough about you to truly know what choice she is making should she say yes.
We didn’t engage in casual sex in my day. Some did, but my wife and didn’t. We got engaged 4 months after we met, but we were really an item after 3. Especially on Nov. 23-25, 1963 when we spent a lot of time hugging each other. We were married 2 1/2 months after we were engaged, 6 1/2 after we met. That’s going to be 48 years in March. That’s why I voted for one month.
I know a couple who got engaged after 5 days. They have daughters in their mid40s, so they have probably been married as long as us. My wife’s maid of honor, when my wife expressed doubt whether this was a good move, said to her, “The important thing now how much thought you put into it from now on.”
This.
I’d modify it further as well, that if you and your (next) intended are divorced, the time frame could be reduced a bit more, as you should (but often aren’t) more aware of what is required in a relationship.
I’d wait a year, and also, I’d strongly recommend some premarital counseling. At the least, you should both be very clear on things like money. Do either of you have any major debts? Is there anything either of you doesn’t want the other to know about? Etc.
Also, kids. Want them? If so, when?
Religion. If either of you is religious and the other isn’t, or is a different one, how will that affect you, if at all? (And if you want kids, how will they be raised?)
And don’t forget mundane stuff like chores. Who’s going to do what? Does either of you have strong feelings about how stuff should be done? Don’t laugh. Marriages have broken up over stuff like that.
After we got home from our jobs last night, I asked her this question, since I wasn’t sure what the answer was.
Emotions are tricky animals sometimes!
Anyway, here’s the scoop:
1- She has an irrational desire to be married because she’s 30+ and unmarried. She knows it’s irrational, but it’s also programmed.
2- I want to accommodate said irrational desire.
3- I’ve never wanted anything (besides a life-saving surgery or two for family members) to work as badly as I want this relationship to work.
4- So, I’m down for the engagement. If it blows up, I guess I’m out the cost of the ring.
5- Our mutual consensus as of last night is:
-A- Engagement at maybe three months
-B- Wedding at about 24 months
That’s your answer. Thanks for asking, since I for darned sure needed to think about that matter.
I’d asked her about premarital counseling two weeks ago and we’re both excited about it, so we’re on the same page with you, Dendarii Dame.
Not sure what kind of provider to go to for that, or whether or not insurance could be finagled into paying for it. We can afford it in any case.