A few weeks ago I broke up with my GF and then got back with her.
After getting back together with her (we were apart for 2 weeks), I told her that what she did during our break up was not my business but asked if there were any men now interested in her that I should perhaps know about or that she should dissuade interest from. (basically, did you get any guys chasing after and now contacting you that you should be now cooling off with/ignoring/etc; which I think is a reasonable question)
She stated that one girl FB’d her to give her an idea on a guy and then stated that that was all and that she deleted the message and did not act on it. Well, 3 days later, she and I go to a bar and on the way home she tells me about that again and also that her old flame from high school FB’d her and said they should meet up. She said they messaged a few times and then when she and I reconciled she told him that we were working things out and so she could not meet with him. So, you can see an obvious inconsistency. When I asked her, she only brought up the more benign situation and swore that was it, and then later spilled some beans and probably didn’t realize she had.
I did not realize this inconsistency until the next day, and I have not mentioned it since, as I am mulling over the best course.
A week later, she tells me she is cancelling her FB account. She just doesn’t like it anymore she says. (a few obvious possibilities spring to the suspicious mind however as I and this EX are both her FB friends)
Another week goes by. She lives 45 minutes away and stated that she had to work for 3 days straight long shifts and so we did not see each other at all.
On the morning of her last night shift, I drive to her place.
She complains that her face is/feels windburned (I can’t remember the exact verbiage) on the first day. I thought that was odd. How can someone with an inside job that is not outdoorsy get windburn in early Sept? (esp. since she stated she just worked and slept and was not really outside for any period of time for this to occur) But it really just slipped my mind. It just didn’t hit my radar very hard, but it piqued my ears enough to be remembered as odd. A side note: she does use some skin products that might irritate the skin, but I wouldn’t have an effect from these and call them windburn, but that’s me.
A few hours later, she complained about how irritated her eyes were. I offered eye drops.
The next day, she was using lip balm excessively and told me her lips got very chapped the other day. I asked about how one manages to get this condition in the summer and she said she just does sometimes. She then got very overly affectionate (rubbing my legs, etc for hours as if on cue and acting oddly it seemed, as if it were forced and insistent compared to her usual actions).
Upon reflection and an ahha moment, I then put all this together into a somewhat coherent picture, to my perhaps paranoid mind at least.
People in the mid atlantic region do not get all these symptoms simultaneously very often unless they have been on a boat, motorbike, or convertible for a long period. I see no other situation. Thing is, there was no way in those days that she could have been in either of those situations without something nefarious happening and/or a lie about her whereabouts/company being told. She supposedly worked or slept the entire time.
So, I FB her ex that contacted her and surprise, he is a motorcyclist and lives only a few miles from her.
So, what would others here do?
I am not huge into “spill your guts and just communicate everything” because one of two things will happen: 1. she is totally innocent and I look crazy or 2. she is not innocent and she’ll just spin another cover story and be increasingly careful.
There are good things in this relationship and so if I am wrong I don’t want to throw it all away. She might just be weird and I’m a little crazy.
So, what are some ideas for an approach or strategic plan? I’m all ears.
Please don’t tell me simply to dump her.
