First, the disclaimer: I’ve been married for >20 years and am totally out of sync with (the current style in) pickup lines. But this thread got me thinking
I’m not turned on by bimbos, no matter hot good they look. I absolutely prefer an intelligent woman over any all-looks-but-no-brain supermodel. But, being male (and straight), I get totally turned on by intelligent females who also look great. I still remember this TV debate in which a (female) criminologist virtually swept the floor with her (male) opponent. I was mesmerized. Not only was the woman clearly intelligent (and it was a joy to listen to her arguments), but she was also smokin’ hot. What’s a guy supposed to say to that kind of a combination? “Damn, you’re smart and smokin’ hot”? Eeehhh… :smack:
So, the question is: How should one compliment an intelligent, well-spoken person of the preferred sex on his/her looks without looking like a total loser who only thinks with his dick? (Yep, I know, being male I do think with my dick, but fortunately not only with my dick)
People, even smart ones, like being complimented. If you think she’s intelligent you should avoid insulting that intelligence by acting as if she’s too smart to have her attractiveness complimented. Compliment her like you would anyone else- don’t try to come up with something out of a fear of offending her. If she’s normal she’ll like being complimented like the rest of us.
I would recommend when she comes up, say something like “So, here comes our/the company’s/the nations answer to* hot-babe-of-your-choice.”*
Or, say something like “Brains and beauty…just like me!”
I don’t really know that a hot and smart babe can be complimented in too many ways that don’t make you come across as some lech on the prowl. She’s heard it all before.
It also is nice to be complimented on one’s good taste, as in “That shirt/scarf/hair style/color of lipstick is really good for you; you have such nice eyes/a beautiful face/a great smile. You really know what you’re doing about a lot of things.” That way you can tell the person you acknowledge her for more than the look.
My question for you is “why?” Are you looking to pick up these women? I’m not judging you (assuming you are still married), but realize a couple of things:
Women tend to view complements from a strange man as “hitting on them”. If you are married, this will make you look creepy. Or at best condescending.
Intelligent and beautiful women typically worry more about being taken seriously for their intellect than their beauty. So random complements about how pretty they are tend to be viewed as you only seeing them as a hot piece of ass.
Speaking as a woman who is often considered both intelligent and attractive: compliments from strange men (or even men I know, if they aren’t really indirect) just make me wonder what they are trying to get out of me. I don’t need you to tell me how hot or smart I am, I know. It doesn’t boost my self-confidence to be told, I just question your motives.
If she’s cute tell her. People don’t mind compliments as long as they are real and well intended. It’s the phony compliments that are the problem. The misplaced compliments, 'cause you can’t think of anything else to say.
I confess that I never get laid and am totally inexperienced, but I think simply smiling at a woman, whether she’s smart or not, is almost always better than complimenting her. It expresses that you feel happy seeing her, instead of expressing an intent.
They may be in denial of it, but attractive women know that just about any man would love to have them, whether for just a night or for longer. Hitting on them doesn’t give them any new information. But smiling at them just might inject a little happiness into their life, and they might respond to that.
That may have more to do with your INTJness. Compliments have the same effect on me they have on you and I’m an intelligent INTJ man with at best average looks.
I agree with both msmith and Bith Shuffle. Any overt compliment about appearance to the opposite sex IS a pickup line, whether you’re in a position to act on it or not. Smiling while making brief eye contact, though, is genuinely flattering.
One thing I should point out is that there is a huge difference between a woman seeing you turn your eyes to look at her and her seeing you already looking at her. The former will make her feel very complimented. She might think it’s kind of cute. The latter will not even remotely create that impression, because she won’t know how long you’ve been looking at her. She might think you’ve been staring at her for a minute.
No, I’m not. I’m married, and our marriage is not “open”
However, I do believe in giving compliments when compliments are due, because a compliment generally is a good thing to give. But I don’t want to sound like a douchebag when I try to do that.
So I’ve gathered. That’s why I ask for opinions on the matter. Because some males are able to see a woman both as an intellectually stimulating human being and a hot piece of ass (although I wouldn’t use that specific expression myself)
Well, what do you think is nice? Is her smile particularly beautiful to you? “Wow, you have a beautiful smile,” said in a friendly, non lecherous tone would be fine. If you say that same thing while staring at my cleavage though, I’m going to be disgusted.
I think it’s sweet when strangers compliment me and unless the man in question continues discussion, I just assume it’s a polite compliment and not an attempt at boning me.
I’ve had several people say this to me. While it’s funny here, I assure you that in real life, it’s not funny at all. Well, for the recipient at least.