It’s better than “I thought you’d be a lot smarter”.
Women you actually know well, socialize with, work with - If you know them, if you are friendly with them, a generic “nice outfit, is it new?/that’s an interesting necklace/I like your new haircut” is OK.
If you mean women you don’t know, blurting out your innermost feelings and your opinion on your reactions to them is creepy, condescending, and pathetic. You will sound retarded, like you have no inner filter, or that you’re hitting on them Keep your mouth shut, you will not make anyone’s day blatting the obvious.
A smile is always nice, you are allowed to smile.
I am too prissy looking for anyone to ever overestimate my intelligence, I assure you heh.
I really don’t understand the problem the OP is having - is he giving women compliments for them to turn around and say “how dare you remark on my physical appearance, I’m extremely intelligent you know?!?!?”. I’m pretty sure women don’t do that. In general if you give compliments in a way that is in fact sincere (rather than just trying to sound it) it doesn’t really matter exactly what you say.
If you want to play it safe stick to things like clothing, jewellery, hair styles etc. You can’t go wrong by saying “I really like your dress, it really suits you” - anyone who responds badly to that just can’t take compliments and that’s all about them, not you.
I’m with msmith on this one. You have nothing to gain by complimenting her (since you’re married) and there’s a real likelihood she’ll just end up being squicked out or embarrassed. So why even worry about it?
I understand the desire to be nice to someone to brighten their day or something, but if you find yourself wondering whether a completely unnecessary remark will be taken the wrong way, it’s probably best to be quiet.
I guess you could say it’s “normal” to appreciate being complimented. But there is no guarantee that the person you want to compliment is normal. I recommend refraining from physical compliments to good-looking strangers or acquaintances unless you KNOW they will be well-received. In which case the person is probably a friend or better.
I only bring it up because I absolutely hate receiving compliments (and know other women who feel the same way), unless it’s something related to a work performance (something I did) or something I’ve made. You like my hair? uh, okay… now what? I didn’t style it to look good for you so it’s just an accident. Why should I care what you think?
You want to compliment these women for your own purposes, because it makes you feel good. And there’s a greater than zero chance that you will actually make some of them feel worse (uncomfortable or flat-out skeeved). Just because someone is attractive doesn’t mean they want to hear about it. If you want to compliment her on a great job, then say she did a great job. Looks don’t have to factor into it, especially since, being married, you have no reason to care what they look like and they have no reason to care about what you think they look like.
If that made sense.
Acquaintances? Family? Non-sketchy strangers? I never compliment strangers on their appearance – I rarely compliment friends, for that matter – but you describing anyone that wasn’t your boyfriend, friend, or student as sketchy just seems weird.
I guess I meant that I never get compliments from male strangers who aren’t non-sketchy. I know plenty of non-sketchy acquaintances, but I very rarely hear a compliment from them. Maybe sometimes someone I vaguely know will compliment me on an article of clothing or an accessory. They would never comment on my looks though.
My family never compliments me on my appearance, but that may be more a cultural thing. If anything they always tell me I’m getting fat.
Actually, I did get some nonsketchy compliments from strangers in Chicago - mostly elderly men and bus drivers who would say something like “Hey pretty lady” and smile and nod and then leave me alone. I thought they were sweet, but I think it’s really hard to pull off in a non-sketchy way unless you are an elderly man or a bus driver. 
So are the non-sketchy acquaintances saying “that X is really cute on you”, “you look nice today”, or something else?
Yeah, maybe “You look nice today” or “I love your scarf/coat/earrings/etc”. Sometimes even a teasing “Do you have a hot date tonight” from coworkers.
I just think it’s difficult to get away with commenting on a woman’s physical attractiveness without coming across as having an ulterior motive - unless you already have an established relationship with that woman (or you are a jovial bus driver). I’ve had male friends compliment my legs or even my rack and I enjoy these compliments (who wouldn’t) without being threatened by them.
On the other hand, just this summer I was taking a train from NYC to Philly early in the morning, and the conductor (or whatever you call the guy that punches your ticket) leaned over as he took my ticket and whispered in my ear that I was the cutest thing he ever saw. He left me alone after that, but it still made me feel rather uncomfortable.
Pick one:
I find your mammary glands very appealing.
Your face has a pleasant symmetry and your complexion is remarkably unblemished.
Your posterior has my anterior in an inflamed state, but pleasantly so.
Were we to date, I would find it necessary to employ a drool cup.
I don’t think anyone objects to being called physically attractive. Just don’t insert comments about their looks into situations when it’s not appropriate, and don’t say anything cheesy. Of course your judgment will decide what is appropriate or cheesy, so my final bit of advice is to have good judgment. I hope that clears things up. If not, hint: if we’re dealing with strangers, like others have said, it’s almost always inappropriate and cheesy, unless you’re smooth. Hint 2: If you don’t know how to compliment a stranger without being creepy, you’re not smooth.
Gads, what girl could resist? :rolleyes: It’s like an annoying dog humping your leg.
Yeah, that’s what you’re thinking. You know it, and women know it. Why try to pretty it up with “compliments”? Just shut up.
What’s funny is a boy told me (recently!) that my face was “very symmetrical.” Haha. Thanks!
I always appreciate specific comments that are non-lecherous feeling. A guy at work saying “There’s that beautiful smile!” brightens my day without making me think he’s hitting on me. Saying “You’re cute” in the middle of a discussion just makes me think they didn’t hear a word I said, like being pretty is my only value.
These are kind of particular to a coworker situation, hearing the same thing from strangers is different. But random strangers don’t know if I’m smart or not, so I don’t think that’s the type of situation the OP is referring to.
Obviously, you know a lot more about what’s going on inside my head than I do myself. Regard me as properly chastised.
Ah, OK, I didn’t realize that. Thank you for clearing that up. Apparently, I’ve been deluded.
I like to believe that I am able to compliment a person from my own cultural sphere without being creepy. However, there are small but important cultural differences here. Without being able to give specific examples, I’m under the strong impression that a comment/remark/reaction which is considered perfectly appropriate in one country (e.g. a Northern European country) is considered unappropriate or even downright rude or creepy in another country (e.g. USA).
Thus, since society is becoming more international, and since we bring our own standards and prejudices when we travel or move to another country, the point of the OP was that it would be interesting to get some indications on what people from another country (e.g. the US) would consider (in)appropriate in a situation like that,
Slow licking of front teeth while smiling? Yea or nay?
“Yes, I’ve often imagined slicing your head vertically and comparing the two halves… hey, where are you going?”
Serious, I wasn’t even sure if he was complimenting me, or if he just wanted to say something weird. Either way, I wouldn’t have been surprised if I’d ended up in his basement later.
Very attractive people know they are attractive. The ones who know they are attractive and make an effort to dress well also know they are dressed well and looking good.
Telling them anything of the sort goes nowhere, unless you’ve established a meaningful relationship and can address one of the above-mentioned issues in complete comfort… say when the person in question doubts their appearance/attire and eludes to it or flat out asks.