How to go from being a "nice guy" to a "bad boy"

In My Humble Opinion
1

Inspired by this thread, I want to impart my wisdom on going from being a “nice guy” to being a “bad boy”. What are my qualifications? Well I wont pretend to be the baddest boy on the block. In fact, I consider myself a relatively nice person. I’m just a regular looking guy with about an average dating record. Think of it more of observations of what I’ve seen work and not work in the past 32 years.
Attitude - first of all, you need to be in the right frame of mind.
Beginner) You are a MAN dammit!!! (think with a lot of exclamation points and swearing!)

Intermediate) All those other guys you are competing against are tools, dorks and losers! (or gay if they are in fact better looking and more charming than you)

Intermediate) I am standing in the coolest part of the room because that’s where I’m standing!

Advanced) Which girl do YOU feel like talking to? You are not hoping a girl talks to you. That’s what chicks do!

LESSON 1: Getting Ready
Going from “nice guy” to “bad boy” requires a subtle shift in attitude and thinking. Some of these changes will take place on the inside, others will take place on the outside.

Clothes - next, you have to look the part
Beginner) Dress “cool”. That does not mean clean or neat. You aren’t going for a job interview. Look at the coolest movie star who kind of looks like you and see how he dresses.

Intermediate) Try to find a unique piece of clothing or other accessory that might make a nice conversation piece - a really cool club shirt, a mystereous and unique T-shirt, a rare band T, an interesting hat. Be careful because there is a fine line here.

Intermediate) Dress in a manner completely innappropriate for the setting - a suit in a dive bar, a ratty waffle - T in a fancy restaurant.

Advanced) Find an opportunity to take your shirt off.

OUT - Anything from a movie or TV show. Any kind of corporate logo unless you are being ironic.
Hair - Basically, you want cool hair that doesn’t look like you spent a lot of time on it. you want to stand out, but not look like a freak of nature. Note that if you are balding, you might want to consider shaving the damn thing off.
Beginner) Get a basic, cool looking haircut. Something that makes you look young and approachable.

Intermediate) Long hair or a shaved head.

Advanced) Mutton chops. A short mohawk

OUT - Mullets

Strategy - What is your plan? Nothing derails picking up a girl faster than having her say “yes” and not having a plan of what to do next.
Beginner) Get her number, wait three days, ask her to dinner on a Weds-Thurs night (You are too cool to waste weekend nights on a girl you just met.)

Intermediate) Get her to make out with you in a dark corner of the bar. Get her number, wait a week and call her at 2:30 am.

Advanced) Get her to blow you in the bathroom. Never call her again.

OUT - Calling the next day
Coming soon - LESSON 2: Getting to ‘Yes’

2

Make out with her, then call her at 2:30 AM? No, no, no. You’re supposed to show up drunk on her doorstep at 2:30 AM. Puking in the flowerbed is optional.

3

Advanced!? I thought that was basic rule of heterosexual courting.

4

I’ve actually thought about this, and have even given it a try. In some ways, you can’t really lose. I realized that simply insulting women is like putting some money on a penny stock. Sometimes, it pays off, and pays off very well. Worst case scenario, however, you’re out some cash and got a good laugh out of the whole thing anyway.

OK, that’s not the best comparison, but I think to an extent, some women are truly drawn to those who a) don’t pay them attention or b) even worse, make fun of them.

My brother has a theory that deep down women want to take the “baddest” boy out there so they can “fix” him, train him, whip him into shape to be the perfect man (in her world). Is this true? I don’t know, but I’ve definitely witnessed some situations where this seems to be partially accurate.

Your post made me laugh though, so thank you.

5

Ahhh…the Force is strong in this one.

pizzabrat - It’s ‘advanced’ because most guys truly don’t believe it. Most guys have the mentality ‘which girl can I get to go with me’ instead of ‘which of these girls am I goingto let get with me’.

6

See, this is why I like you so much, ms mith.

7

You reminded me of a time when we tried this. My friend ‘Jim’ goes up to these girls first and tries the standard conversational route. No go. His friend ‘Steve’ does the big goofy guy thing. Nada. I wait a few minutes and tell the hottest girl in the group ‘I might not be much to look at but right now I’m the only guy in the bar talking to you’. So we actually get to talking and I find out they’re from Jersey. I’m right in the middle of my bit about how I drive the machine that moves the adjustable lane on the Tappenzee Bridge and Jim ‘accidently’ spills his drink on the girl.

So after waking up hungover and alone…

8

The Big Happy Machine[sup]TM[/sup]! It always looks like it’s smiling.

9

msmith537-

If I am making out with a female on a couch should I:

a) Push her head towards my crotch.
b) Whip out Mr. Happy and give her puppy dog eyes.
c) Whip out Mr. Happy and say ‘I know you want my giant cock in your mouth’.
d) Hope she gets the idea on her own
e) none of the above

10

This is partially true, but it’s just as true for men as for women. Many people have an idealized image of what they’d like in a partner, and don’t think twice about wanting to shave off some corners so a regular person can fit into their fantasy.

11

Being a bad boy just so girls will like you - isn’t that just changing yourself to suit someone else? And isn’t that exactly what a “nice guy” would do?

You only get one personality. If people like it, then you lucked out. If not, trying to change it won’t help anything. People can see through that.

Your cowardice, your low self-esteem, your lack of a spine, your inability to attract the opposite sex - they’re all part of who you are. Try to focus on the good parts. Like, you probably never killed anybody, right? That’s a good thing. No matter how lonely and desperate you are, at least you can say you never committed murder. Be proud of your non-homicidal self, it’s the only one you have.

If you did kill somebody, pick something else. Like maybe you’re a good cook, or you always keep your room tidy.

12

no, no, treis, you have to start rubbing her breasts. Then she’ll take off the shirt… then, well things get a lot easier from there.
cauhtemoc. Its not about being a bad boy. Its about being self-confident. Self-confidence is something that changes as you get more experiences in life. If you have a lot of experience in a wide variety of fields, then you are pretty much set. Its really weird, but for me at least, its like the whole self-confidence thing was really bad at the beginning. I didn’t get into all of the dating thing until I was much older and I had the typical problems. Then I moved away from my college for a while and I got, well a lot, I suppose, of experience. I’m the same person I always was, its just that I don’t doubt myself anymore, or that someone cold like me. I have proof now that I know that people like me, so I don’t let it bother me when people don’t. It kind of gives you licesnse to truely be yourself.

I think that when I lacked self-confidence, that I was truely limiting the extent of which my actual personality was. I kept a lot of stuff inside, because of fear. Its really nice not to care anymore.

And as far as being a “bad boy,” or “asshole” or whatever this type that is attractive to girls. Its simply just a matter of self-confidence. Everybody’s personality manifests itself when you add experience and self-confidence, and there are ways in which this turns out.

13

Merk’s last paragraph sums it up perfectly. I would go on to add:
There is nothing sadder than a nice guy trying to be a bad boy. And we can always tell. :wink:

14

Don’t encourage me…

:wink:

15

I don’t think it’s about being a bad boy, I think it’s about accepting your limitations. A therapist I used to see told me about templates that get established very early in childhood that are extremely hard, if not impossible to change. They govern things like how you relate to other people, how you deal with risks, and so forth. The idea is, if you’re solidly convinced at that stage that you suck and nobody likes you, the die is cast, and there’s very little you can do about it. You can acquire a ton of experience in twenty different fields, but when the lights go down and your head hits the pillow, you’re still an unloveable, no-confidence-having loser. And if you try to pretend you’re not, you’re the sad individual Maureen’s talking about, the guy who just can’t accept who he is. Better to accept who you are than be a clown and an object of pity, am I wrong?

16

I don’t think a woman with self-esteem of her own is attracted to “bad boys”.
She is attracted to men who can just be themselves.
And if you have a well thought out, numbered plan on how to impress women, it’s all downhill from there.

Another thought: If you are trying to attract shallow women, remember, shallow women are attracted to shallow men. So, don’t expect her to still want you around if she finds out you aren’t really the “bad boy” you made yourself out to be.

17

Ok first of all, why are you on a couch and not in a bathroom stall of a dive bar or the back seat of an El Camino?

Second of all, why are you indulging in foreplay?

18

Grab-ass and prepare to duck. If you do not have to duck then move on to the next step.

msmith537

We call that truck f*ucking around here!!!

19

One of the bars around here has a ratty couch from the 70s near the pool table. Maybe he means that. Or it’s in the back of his van.

20

I thought all you had to do was start smoking Marlboro reds, grow a beard, and cuss alot…
Hey…I already did that