Garigirl(Walking in from work): Here - have this - it’s one of those sci-fi things so you’ll probably like it.
Chucks a DVD on Garius’ lap
Garius(Looking up from his Laptop): What’s thi…HOLY CRAP! Where did you get this?! Its not due out for another 2 weeks!
Garigirl: One of the product suppliers gave it to me today. He was trying to chat me up.
Garius: Fantastic!
Garigirl: Are you listening to me? He tried to chat me up!
Garius: This is wicked - look its got the extras disc and everything!
Garigirl: Hellooooooo. Someone tried to chat up your girlfriend?! Are you listening?!
Garius: I’m going to put this on! Hmmm I wonder if i can wire the sound through your stereo…
Garigirl: Can you hear me?! A.N.O.T.H.E.R. M.A.N. T.R.I.E.D. T.O. …
sigh
Why do i bother. I’m going to go cry myself to sleep - have fun.
Garius: …hey wow your stereo has four speaker output! wicked! I think I left a box of cables here a while back - maybe i can rig up the speakers from upstairs too! Okay it wouldn’t be surround sound but it’d still rule! What do you think honey?
You could have said, “Gee, honey, I am too secure in our relationship to worry about guys hitting on you and/or too interested in this DVD to be listening to what you’re saying right now (circle one).”
“Dearest beloved, I’ve had to become used to the idea that other men will flirt with you. I realize it’s inevitable because you are such a desirable and attractive woman. Naturally, I am insanely jealous every time it happens and I want to thrash these cads to within an inch of their lifes. But I know that jealousy is an ugly emotion and you of course are totally innocent of encouraging them, so I hide it away. It’s a burden I willingly bear because of the love I feel for you.”
Yeah, a simple “Honey, if I got pissed every time a guy tried or wanted to hit on you, I’d be mad all the time. I’m just happy you’re with me.” oughta do it. Or you can go the more poetic route, like Little Nemo does.
He HIT ON YOU?! That ASSHOLE! Let’s get him back by putting on the DVD he gave you in a childish attempt to steal you away form me, and then have sex the whole time it’s on!
She’s trying to make him jealous and he’s the bad guy? Good for you, garius. Not giving in to the evil gender’s subtle manipulations is the best thing you can do.
You know, I think if I brought that home and told fizzy that the entire sales staff of whatever store alternately tried to feel me up, suck my dick and disrobe me for the purpose of covering me in oil and feeding me grapes and chocolates…
I’d have to wait until the end of the two-disc set if I wanted her to pay attention. Because she’d be so utterly enraptured by the thing that she wouldn’t pay me any attention longer than it’d take to snatch the thing from my hands.
